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Hekate

(94,979 posts)
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 01:49 AM Mar 2023

I don't know where to post this, but a close friend is passing soon & I'm asking for positive vibes

Last edited Mon Mar 6, 2023, 02:07 PM - Edit history (1)

Usually I post everything in GD, but lately it’s chock-full of really bad news. The Lounge is home to a lot of people, but not really me. So I’m dropping this here…

Leona is 80 this year, and we met 30 years ago when we entered an academic program in Mythological Studies with a degree emphasis in depth psychology. It was one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever done, and of all the people I met there, Leona became a friend for life, a treasure.

Leona lived her life with intention — decisively, and with courage. She changed her name and chose Volition as her middle name. And now she is choosing to die with intention — decisively, and with courage. She’s done. She’s in hospice and refusing water and food. She is leaving before she loses her Self to another stroke.

When I met her the first day of classes I was warmed by the sparkle in her eyes. Each in the class were asked what mythic creature had brought us here, and I was so serious in my answer. Leona said, “The Little Red Hen, because she said ‘I will do it myself,’ and she did.”

When her daughter decided to transition to be a man, from that moment Leona changed pronouns and used his chosen name. (He was still a pill to his mom, but my own family relations are enough of a mystery to deal with so I can’t judge. ) Then he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and wasn’t expected to live more than a couple of years. That was over 25 years ago, and he died a only few months ago living in another state, still estranged. This was only one painful thread running thru the tapestry of her life, but she met it all with intention and courage.

The tapestry Leona wove for herself was rich with experience. She lived frugally in a vacation cabin in the national forest for decades so she could do what really mattered to her, like travelling just about everywhere, and studying for a degree that makes most people say, “What?” She described the rigors of her journeys in vivid detail — in Antarctica a penguin fell madly in love with her (well, who wouldn’t? I thought ) . She was slip-sliding up a slope, the ice all covered in penguin poop, when she found herself on her knees nose to beak with a penguin. He bowed to her. Well what would you do? So she bowed back. He bowed again, so did she. At some point he waddled away, but soon returned with a rock in his beak, which he dropped at her feet with a soulful look. At that point she realized his intentions were serious, so she left to rejoin the humans. When she told me the story I laughed like hell.

Leona’s the reason our little group of friends sought out tiny local museums across the counties, and made day-trips to Los Angeles to visit special exhibits at their great museum, LACMA. So much, so much.

She took little part time office jobs at Adult Ed, and saw they needed a nude model for the art class. She was about 70 by then. She thought, why not? She thought, oh dear that's scary. She decided, I will do it. And she did. After one session she asked a student if she could have his sketch — she had it beautifully framed, and by the Goddess she looked like a Neolithic queen with her belly and long breasts, and head held high.

Whatever will I do without her?

Gentle crossing dear friend.

25 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I don't know where to post this, but a close friend is passing soon & I'm asking for positive vibes (Original Post) Hekate Mar 2023 OP
A friend who is facing the imminent death of her beloved sister finds fierywoman Mar 2023 #1
Thank you for this Hekate Mar 2023 #3
What a beautiful memory/eulogy you've written, my dear Hekate . . . CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2023 #2
She's also refusing visitors. A bunch of us signed a card, which will be left at the hospice... Hekate Mar 2023 #4
What a beautiful tribute Easterncedar Mar 2023 #5
I am so sorry for your loss, Hekate! pnwmom Mar 2023 #6
What an immense loss Hekate. mahina Mar 2023 #7
No coming and no going... WheelWalker Mar 2023 #8
Sorry for your loss Hekate KS Toronado Mar 2023 #9
What a beautiful tribute to your friend. I am wishing peace to her in her crossing and strength to LoisB Mar 2023 #10
Such Beautuful Vibes Cha Mar 2023 #11
She is with you, always.💕 Guilded Lilly Mar 2023 #12
Well, in my circle of friends NJCher Mar 2023 #13
I wonder if my rediscovery of the ritual I wrote for her was that sign, a message... Hekate Mar 2023 #25
Vibes and thoughts sent kozar Mar 2023 #14
What a magnificent life renate Mar 2023 #15
A lovely tribute for your dear friend. Lonestarblue Mar 2023 #16
A beautiful eulogy! mia Mar 2023 #17
Good friends are irreplaceable. babylonsister Mar 2023 #18
Beautiful Dear_Prudence Mar 2023 #19
I am so sorry to here this, Hekate. sheshe2 Mar 2023 #20
She will, however... 2naSalit Mar 2023 #21
This is so sad. I hope you will be okay. I will light a candle for her to help ratchiweenie Mar 2023 #22
UPDATE: Leona Volition Marie, PhD has passed, as of last night. I thank you all, deeply... Hekate Mar 2023 #23
Oh my, but she is lovely...❤️ AmBlue Mar 2023 #24

fierywoman

(8,123 posts)
1. A friend who is facing the imminent death of her beloved sister finds
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 01:54 AM
Mar 2023

Cash Peters' Soul Crossings very comforting ...

https://www.youtube.com/@SoulCrossingswithCashPeters


Thank you for so beautifully sharing your amazing friend with us.

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,285 posts)
2. What a beautiful memory/eulogy you've written, my dear Hekate . . .
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 01:56 AM
Mar 2023

If she's still cognizant, you might consider giving her a copy of it. Or, if you can be there, read it to her.

I am sure she will cross gently.

Blessings on you for writing this wonderful memory.

Hekate

(94,979 posts)
4. She's also refusing visitors. A bunch of us signed a card, which will be left at the hospice...
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 02:01 AM
Mar 2023

She’s really signalling, “I am done with this.”

TY Peggy.

mahina

(18,974 posts)
7. What an immense loss Hekate.
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 02:58 AM
Mar 2023

I’ll be thinking of you. Wishing you peace of mind, and comfort and swift passage for Leona Volition. Love light her path home. Aloha kaua.

WheelWalker

(9,201 posts)
8. No coming and no going...
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 03:00 AM
Mar 2023

Just before Ninakawa passed away the Zen master Ikkyu visited him. "Shall I lead you on?" Ikkyu asked.

Ninakawa replied: "I came here alone and I go alone. What help could you be to me?"

Ikkyu answered: "If you think you really come and go, that is your delusion. Let me show you the path on which there is no coming and no going."

With his words, Ikkyu had revealed the path so clearly that Ninakawa smiled and passed away.


Live with cause and leave results to the great law of the universe.

LoisB

(8,845 posts)
10. What a beautiful tribute to your friend. I am wishing peace to her in her crossing and strength to
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 03:13 AM
Mar 2023

you to bear her loss. So long as you have memories of her, she will always be with you.

Cha

(305,640 posts)
11. Such Beautuful Vibes
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 03:20 AM
Mar 2023

For your life long Friend, Leona, from you, Hekate.

How fortunate for you both to have your Treasured Friendship. It really is a gift.

I know a little of how you feel.. I lost my sister and best friend the day after Christmas in 2019. I think of her every day through out the day.

Peace Love and Aloha.. and Mahalo for sharing the outpouring of your heart with us. I know it's hard to lose your friend on Earth...

NJCher

(38,044 posts)
13. Well, in my circle of friends
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 04:24 AM
Mar 2023

We just go to a medium the next day and touch base with them. My friends do; I just communicate with them myself since I have that ability. Anyone can watch for signs, which, if you are aware they can do this, will most likely be funny and unique to them as a person so you know it’s them.

The penguin story had me in stitches. She sounds like my friend Gini who did the same thing—shut us all out. When Gini crossed over she contacted me immediately, like the next day. The contact was funny and brilliant and still makes me laugh a decade later. It’s nice to stay in touch with them because they help you out and do all kinds of nice things for you. I call Gini my Patron Saint of the Absent Minded because whenever I’m about to do some lame thing, she tips me off.

Your friend sounds like she’s quite capable of sending you some fun, wise, and witty messages.

If she’s been ill, she will really be in a great mood. There’s a book by Sherrie Dillard that’s full of stories of contacts from crossed over souls. It’s called I’m still with you. Contacting their loved ones is a priority; the best thing you can do is let her know you got her message and acknowledge it with love.


Hekate

(94,979 posts)
25. I wonder if my rediscovery of the ritual I wrote for her was that sign, a message...
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 04:26 PM
Mar 2023

Out of my hundreds of books, why did my eyes fall on that shelf 3 days ago? 💔

renate

(13,776 posts)
15. What a magnificent life
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 04:47 AM
Mar 2023

Magnificent and fully lived.

She made the very most of her time here. I hope her exit from life is peaceful and as glorious as the arc she traced throughout her incredible life.

Lonestarblue

(11,903 posts)
16. A lovely tribute for your dear friend.
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 04:53 AM
Mar 2023

It’s so hard to lose people who’ve been an important part of you’re life for many years. We’d like to keep them with us forever. Your friend is still doing things her way. May her passing be smooth.

babylonsister

(171,653 posts)
18. Good friends are irreplaceable.
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 06:31 AM
Mar 2023

I wish Leona peace in her next pain-free journey. Thank you for sharing her with us.

sheshe2

(87,810 posts)
20. I am so sorry to here this, Hekate.
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 09:39 AM
Mar 2023

I have been told that a dry passing is a kinder way to leave one’s body. May Leona slip gently away. She will remain forever in the hearts and minds of those friends she leaves behind.

❤️

2naSalit

(93,036 posts)
21. She will, however...
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 10:22 AM
Mar 2023

Always be with you.

I lost my dearest friend in life, my mentor in life and spirit, two years and three weeks ago. I still cry. I always will at some memories, good and hard. But I also realize that our relationship was the greatest gift of my life and to honor that I should keep the lessons learned in mind as I go forth and at my passing.

You friend sounds much life my friend, same approach to life though from much different origins. We all knew she was dying for some time and it took a while, she was with her daughter and husband, though, and they were able to to have the needed conversations, the expressions of love and caring, at home in the middle of a pandemic... a rarity at the time.

I was able to tell her that I loved her and cared with all my heart before she left and that meant a great deal for me. When she did pass, she let me know at that very time. I was in the middle of something when I had this overwhelming urge to go take a nap, so I did. I was in a dream state almost immediately, then transported to her bedroom where she died, I was behind her husband and daughter, the room was brightly sunlit. The hue of the light was and orangey-yellow, her favorite, she then sat up in bed, put her feet to the floor and stood up, fully dressed in a summer outfit of an orange/apricot plaid top and solid apricot capris. She stood up, and as if nobody else was there started toward the stairs. Suddenly we, the family and I, were at the bottom of the stairs near the front door watching her descend the stairs, grab a windbreaker from the coat-rack, walked out the door down the front walkway and into the light. Then I awoke and I knew.

And I see her sometimes but mostly I feel her in my heart whenever I get quiet enough to recognize her.

When Christine McVie passed, I was reminded of this song that says so much, I can't get through it without crying yet but it is also comforting in a time like this, so for you and your friend I offer you this and a big hug...










ratchiweenie

(7,935 posts)
22. This is so sad. I hope you will be okay. I will light a candle for her to help
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 11:20 AM
Mar 2023

light her way during this passing. She sounds very brave.

Hekate

(94,979 posts)
23. UPDATE: Leona Volition Marie, PhD has passed, as of last night. I thank you all, deeply...
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 02:54 PM
Mar 2023

In 1999 she asked if I would create a ritual of Queenship for her, of sovereignty over her own life. Only a few days ago I came across the book I wrote for the occasion, the order of service. In part I used the myth of Inanna… I had forgotten just how richly I had made it.

In rereading it for the first time in many, many years, I had to ask if I chose the right path after all. “But there was a war” — is the old reason given for why I turned away from this particular path in 2002. “There will always be wars and rumors of wars,” came the response from my subconscious this time. And so it has been. I have to ask, now, whether I was like an artist who laid down her brush and canvas to become merely a Sunday painter.

Again, I thank you all for sitting with me last night, and today. My love to you. ❤️

AmBlue

(3,444 posts)
24. Oh my, but she is lovely...❤️
Mon Mar 6, 2023, 03:50 PM
Mar 2023

...and you have written poetry to describe her. How fortunate you were to have her in your life!

My sincere condolences and a big hug to you. For her, I wish gentle passage to her next amazing journey!

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