For all you ASAHers with planets and ascendants in Scorpio
It is important to realize that Scorpio is the scapegoat in almost every negative situation...whether it's a karmic payback or (most likely) people sensing the power inherent in the sign and then blaming the Scorpio for not doing something about whatever the situation is....
It has taken me many years to come to terms with this fact and just let it be that way...Rick is right that they key to living with this scorpio energy is forgiveness (and forgetness)....whole chunks of my life are just falling away and i can be more in the now, now...
And everything that has been taken from me has been restored to me even better, because God and the universe always work for the highest good of all concerned...
Before you say that i don't know what i'm talking about, i have Sun at 0'scorpio, and Moon at 29' scorpio (coming and going lol)
i have had major issues with my mother like you guys, and finally i just totally gave up trying to get through to her or to change her and just accept her the way it is....and try to appreciate her good qualities and also try to not perpetuate her negativity myself...i catch myself sometimes and it's not pretty lol...
It makes for a somewhat shallow relationship of course and sometimes i find myself longing for a real friendship with her like i see some mothers and daughters having...but she is a product of her societal conditioning and the traumas she and her generation went through and is trapped there....i used to get so very angry with her, but now i feel mostly sorrow and realized that soon i will be burying her and never have a chance to resolve all this on this plane....
Just my .02 and good luck to all fellow Scorpions
= new reply since forum marked as read
made the healthiest choice possible in that situation. You must feel better in some respect even if the relationship feels shallow. (I have a Scorpio friend that I've had to do the same with because if I didn't, all of his ridiculous drama would be detrimental to my emotional well-being, so I know how you feel. 
)
(I'm not a Scorpio—mine is in Mars and Neptune, so I don't have a personal story to contribute because I don't really know how that plays out with what's going on astrologically, but I'm sure others will share. 
)
Having yours in Scorpio; I've seen it many times.
1. It means you think it's ok to do anything you want (for + or -)
2. This gets you in a lot of trouble.
3. The Neptune curbs the greediness/selfishness of the Mars, which helps
4. It spiritualizes the Mars
You need to blend the two, i.e., selfish and selfless
it can be done
One reason it acts ok in Scorpio is that usually it's full of self-deception; in Scorpio
the energy is too smart, too aware to get self-deluded.
"Normal" Scorpio defies all restrictions and taboos, seeking all dark alleyways.
This unlimited temptation of Neptune can really tempt them beyond common sense.
something like that 
I've not seen much about Mars in Scorpio. I agree about #1, but fortunately, what I want to do is work, be creative, be liked and make money, so I don't ever get into too much trouble.
I have Scorp rising w/Sun, Merc, & Saturn in Scorp in 1st house. I'm finished w/ being the scapegoat, too, & my relationship w/my mother is a big part of the problem,also. Sometimes we just have to realize that even we cannot "fix" everything. It takes 2 working toward the same goal, otherwise we must just move on to contribute elsewhere.
Here is a post I made yesterday, other posts on this thread align w/you thinking, too.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/122016656#post12
Never forget: "The Scorp will rise again!" aka as the Phoenix. 
to me