What we say and how we say it

[rug]

Jaeynes Childers and Maria Balata, members of the Chicago Archdiocesan Gay and Lesbian Outreach, hold hands at Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church June 19. (CNS/Karen Callaway, Catholic New World)

by Brian Harper | Aug. 26, 2016

On the Saturday after Christmas Day last year, I attended Mass with someone I love. This person is not a regular churchgoer and also happens to be gay. Because it was the feast of the Holy Family, the priest saw fit to treat the congregation to a litany of what he perceived to be the most serious threats to the family unit. Homosexuality and bestiality topped the list.

Even Catholics with orthodox views on sexuality should have found the homily brash and insensitive in its delivery. I was embarrassed, angry, and, perhaps most of all, disappointed by the missed opportunity. A great deal of modern society sees the Catholic church as judgmental and repressive, a reputation that moments like these make hard to refute.

Though I think some critiques of contemporary Catholicism are valid, these negative modifiers are far from my experience with the faith. The vast majority of sisters, brothers, priests and laypeople I know have shown me kindness, consideration, and more leniency than I grant myself. I wanted to tell my loved one that this priest was not reflective of the church I know, that unconditional love and generosity are its true markers. On this day, however, the perception of a mean, stern, out-of-touch religion was reinforced.

I have thought a lot about that Mass since the shooting at a gay club in Orlando several months ago. Despite the alarming frequency of gun violence in the United States, I want to think of attacks targeted at a specific group as an aberration. Who doesn't? Anyone concerned with homophobia takes solace in our society's steps toward greater equality. Sure, we recognize ongoing intolerance, but people who explicitly hold bigoted views can seem so far from our circles that they barely appear real. When events like the Orlando shooting or even the feast of the Holy Family homily cast prejudice into the open, we are shocked.

https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/young-voices/what-we-say-and-how-we-say-it