Got any Passover jokes? Post 'em up here.

[cloudbase]

I could use some new material.

A few years ago, one of my seder guests was a friend who happened to be blind. We were passing the matzo around, and he took a piece and ran his finger over it, and said, "Who wrote this shit?"




(Told to me by a rabbi decades ago.)

[NanceGreggs]

1. Not a joke per se ...

... but a true story.

In 1991, I was attending religious instruction (what we all lovingly called "Jew School" ) as part of a year-long process to convert to Judaism.

Just before Passover, we attended a lecture explaining the different parts of the Seder, and their meaning.

When our teacher got to the part about hiding the Afikomen and the reward offered to the child who found it, he said the following:

"When I was a kid, the reward for finding the Afikomen was usually five dollars. But things have changed, and kids are much more sophisticated nowadays. In other words, this is the part of the Seder where many of you will be meeting your child's lawyer for the first time."

[MyMission]

3. Also not a joke, but a true story

Told to me by a Rabbi many years ago who'd heard it from a friend.

The friends son had married a non Jew who had not yet converted to Judaism, not sure if she was taking classes. It was Passover, and he asked his bride to get some food for passover, fresh fruit and berries, Breakstone sour cream and butter (it's kosher) and matzah, because his parents were coming to visit. She couldn't find matzah, wasn't really sure what it was, so she got mozzarella instead. (Lol) seriously!

An honest mistake, if you're clueless, and many are when it comes to our foods and rituals.

Happy Passover.

[NanceGreggs]

4. Who can resist ...

... matzah-rella?



And a Happy Passover to you as well!

[Srkdqltr]

2. Got a Passover joke? Pass 'em over.

Sorry i'm in a silly mood tonight. no disrespect .

[OilemFirchen]

5. Very tangential.

A young man spots an older man on the train platform. The older man is wearing a watch.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?" he asks.

The older man ignores him.

"Pardon me, sir. Can you tell me what time it is?"

Silence.

"What's the deal, friend?" the younger man exclaims. "Why are you ignoring me?"

The older man turns to him. "I don't know you. Perhaps we'll inadvertently sit together on the train. Maybe we'll get to chatting. Possibly we'll become friends. I might invite you to a Seder. You could meet my daughter. She might fall in love with you. You may become engaged." he explains.

"What do I want with a son-in-law can't afford a watch?"

[Behind the Aegis]

7. LOL!