My 13 yo granddaughter told me she is an atheist

[OriginalGeek]

Proud Pawpaw here.


Saturday I was having lunch with my son and my 2 granddaughters before taking the kids back to their mother's. Out of the blue she says "Ugh, I don't even know why I have to go to church any more. I'm an atheist..."

Her mom got religion after she and my son divorced and so she is inflicting it on the kids to make up for her partying past I guess. I was proud my granddaughter knew she could tell me that but I don't think she's told her mom yet. Her older sister is on the fence still. She is very popular in several of those catholic clubs they have for kids/teens and is afraid she'll lose her friends. The younger one is sick of going and doesn't care if she never sees those people again lol.

I'll just sit back and encourage when I can and let them both know I love and support them no matter what. Not trying to interfere with their mom's parenting but I am openly atheist and she knows it so I'm not gonna pretend I think any of her religion is OK.

[mountain grammy]

1. I have 5 beautiful granddaughters, 15 down to 9

on my last visit, a couple of weeks ago, my 14 year old told me she told her other grandmother she was an atheist. Her other grandmother is very religious, my son and daughter in law are not. Needless to say, her grandmother was horrified.
She asked me for advice, "I don't want to lie" she said.
I told her: her other grandma will love her unconditionally, just like I do, but this is a serious issue with her and it's important to respect that. She promised to go easy on her grandma and keep some stuff to herself, but I encourage her secular beliefs.

If one of my grandkids come to me with the declaration she's "found jeeesus," I guess I'll have to bite the bullet and follow my own advice. Hopefully that won't happen.

[OriginalGeek]

2. Yep - I'm hoping the other one comes to the realization that she doesn't need religion

but she does really like the kids in her club. I don't mind that at all - they seem like good kids, religion notwithstanding. When they were married my son and DIL were not religious at all although she did go off occasionally in fad kookery (Qaballah?) for a few minutes at a time. It was a rough divorce and my son actually was awarded full custody but that was years ago and now the xDIL is much more stable so they share custody. Plus the schools are better where DIL lives and in spite of everything else that went down (and there was some nasty meanness and petty shit going around) they had the good sense to keep the kids needs above all else.

My son is an atheist leaning Buddhist and DIL is (now) Catholic so that's where they go. And both kids know they can call me for anything anytime day or night.

[mountain grammy]

3. That's so important for them to know they have an objective adult to talk to

and , believe me, I know how hard it is to always be objective, but I'll bite my tongue till it bleeds before I give up the trust those five girls have in me.

[Curmudgeoness]

4. It is so hard for kids.

And it is especially hard when they are being pulled in different directions from people that they love. I am sure that you are proud. I just hope that she can deal with her mom.

[OriginalGeek]

6. I suspect the hardest part will be for her to stand up for herself

while still being respectful of her mother. She does have a bit of a sassy streak lol. (openly admit to double standard here - it's funny when she's sassy to her mother but not so much when it's to me. But that's on me, not her.)

[OriginalGeek]

7. Yep, the older one said she's been studying other religions too

I encouraged her to study everything she can and let her know I am always available to answer anything I can and google anything I can't. I was raised in a fundie baptist home so I'm up on that angle but not so much catholicism and/or liberal religious people other than what I read here.