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I'm going to hell, but at least I'll have cookies.... (Original Post) WillParkinson Mar 2016 OP
Loved this in the other group Warpy Mar 2016 #1
My post was meant for THIS group.... WillParkinson Mar 2016 #2
Ha ha. Reminds me of a couple jokes. progressoid Mar 2016 #3
then there's the great..... AlbertCat Mar 2016 #4
Mr. Dixie fell off the chair laffing dixiegrrrrl Mar 2016 #5
Not really Easter cookies nichomachus Mar 2016 #6
Funny, deucemagnet Mar 2016 #8
love this thread! mountain grammy Mar 2016 #7
Yummy. They look frogmarch Mar 2016 #9
Beat the mixture 39 times. Allow dough to rise overnight. Gore1FL Mar 2016 #10
Ha! Wash hands frequently. onager Mar 2016 #11

Warpy

(113,130 posts)
1. Loved this in the other group
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 11:22 AM
Mar 2016

especially the whining Christian as the first response, deodorized somewhat by the laughing Christian replying to him.

The grotesque part is that I can easily see these becoming official Easter cookies with the kind of true believers I've run into from time to time, especially as a kid surviving Catholic school.

progressoid

(50,748 posts)
3. Ha ha. Reminds me of a couple jokes.
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 11:51 AM
Mar 2016

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?

They keep falling through his hands.


Jesus is walking around heaven chewing the palms of his hands. God yells at him, "Jesus, stop biting your nails"!


nichomachus

(12,754 posts)
6. Not really Easter cookies
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 12:24 PM
Mar 2016

These are Padre Pio cookies. They're sold all year round. Padre Pio claimed to have a "stigmata" which was a form of the wounds of Christ. Most non-Catholics and even many Catholics think he was a fraud.

deucemagnet

(4,549 posts)
8. Funny,
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 03:29 PM
Mar 2016

my first thought was that Catholic iconography is so morbidly gruesome that these could easily be for real. I'm not surprised that they are.

frogmarch

(12,226 posts)
9. Yummy. They look
Fri Mar 25, 2016, 06:21 PM
Mar 2016

even tastier than Resurrection cookies, which are delish.

http://www.iccreligiouseducation.com/easter.cfm?subpage=309406

snip:

Instructions:

These are to be made the evening before Easter. Preheat oven to 300F.
*** (this is very important --- don't wait until you are half done with the recipe).


Place pecans in zipper baggy and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested. He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Read: John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar to drink.

Read: John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life
to give us life.

Read: John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.

Read: Luke 23:27





onager

(9,356 posts)
11. Ha! Wash hands frequently.
Sun Mar 27, 2016, 06:32 PM
Mar 2016

After beating mixture, say "Ecce homo." Spend next hour explaining to Fundie neighbors that it has nothing to do with Jesus being gay.

Oh, and...declare cookies innocent. Then sentence them to death anyway.

As people smarter than me (which is everybody) have noted: the whole awesome "Passion" story seems to have been written by authors who knew absolutely nothing about either Roman or Jewish law in 33 CE.

Long as I'm here...according to the Xians favorite historian, Flavius Josephus, Pilate was just about the last person who would have caved in to a mob and reversed himself. Josephus covers several accounts of Pilate confronting mobs, and they all ended the same way: Pilate called out the Jerusalem Riot Squad and clobbered the mob.

On one occasion, according to Josephus, Pilate planted his own agents provocateur inside a mob to whip it into a frenzy. His agents then whipped out their swords and started killing people.


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