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Ron Obvious

(6,261 posts)
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 07:24 AM Jun 2018

Today's Dear Abby

I enjoy reading Dear Abby because I enjoy irritating myself.

DEAR ABBY: I am in high school and I'm an atheist. My parents are Catholic. Over the past couple of years, for various reasons, I have realized I don't believe what my parents and priest were telling me. I haven't told my parents because I'm afraid of what they'll say. Mom will probably think she failed as a parent, my grandma would never talk to me again and I'll be forced to go to church every Sunday, do the sacraments and go to religion class.

I've been silent for a while, but I'm going to make my confirmation soon and I feel terrible. When I go to confirmation classes, I feel like a hypocrite. I want to tell everyone the truth, but I don't know if it's a good idea. Should I? -- NEW ENGLAND HERETIC

DEAR "HERETIC": Although this may seem counterintuitive, consider talking to your priest about your feelings. I am positive that it won't be the first time he has heard something like this. Keep in mind that as you grow older, your feelings about atheism may moderate. People have been known to return to -- and find comfort from -- the church after a long absence.

https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2018/6/17/1/teen-feels-out-of-touch-with


Grrrrr..... "Don't worry, dearrie; you'll grow out of this awful phase of your life." Also, notice "feelings", not "ideas", or "views."

At least the comments are positive for a change.

10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Today's Dear Abby (Original Post) Ron Obvious Jun 2018 OP
John Prine underpants Jun 2018 #1
thank gawd i wasnt catholic..my hubby is atheist now but that catholic guilt creeps in... samnsara Jun 2018 #2
Ugh. What lousy advice. nt Susan Calvin Jun 2018 #3
consider talking to your priest Cartoonist Jun 2018 #4
I hope Dear Abby gets ripped on this one. Laffy Kat Jun 2018 #5
My sweet 16 granddaughter mountain grammy Jun 2018 #6
Some teenagers are more mature that was I, who did not harbor any doubt about my indoctrination. John1956PA Jun 2018 #7
She didn't say she was confirmed, Mr.Bill Jun 2018 #8
if yer gonna "talk to your priest" don't go alone nt msongs Jun 2018 #9
Did she recommend keeping the door open Voltaire2 Jun 2018 #10

samnsara

(18,282 posts)
2. thank gawd i wasnt catholic..my hubby is atheist now but that catholic guilt creeps in...
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 07:35 AM
Jun 2018

..other parts of his life.
I was Baptist....but my church-going was only a social event...nothing they said to me stuck. I went there to see my friends and see BOYS!!! I changed churches to be with my friends. Yay we get a cracker and juice today!

Mom would send us to church and all we thought about was boys and a snack. In HS I said it didnt believe in organized religion .. then stated I was agnostic but took me to see Ronnie Reagans ad about FFRF (freedom from religion foundation) to realized theres nothing wrong with saying I'm Atheist.

my parents were secretly agnostic im sure. Once my dad said 'When youre dead youre dead!' Then I knew we were on the same page.

Laffy Kat

(16,524 posts)
5. I hope Dear Abby gets ripped on this one.
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 08:11 AM
Jun 2018

She totally invalidated the teen's feelings. Frankly, I would have told her to "fake it to make it" until she could get out of her parent's house then don't look back.

mountain grammy

(27,276 posts)
6. My sweet 16 granddaughter
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 08:24 AM
Jun 2018

told me she's an atheist.. I told her I was too. Her parents, my son and daughter in law, are agnostic, but her other grandmother is very religious.

I told her to follow her own beliefs, but maybe leave her grandmother out of the loop for a while. She's not being forced to go to church or subscribe to any faith and her grandmother doesn't really push her about religion. I'm afraid if she actually did express this to her grandmother, the reaction wouldn't be good, and right now they have a good relationship.

This crap from dear abby is garbage. talk to your priest?


John1956PA

(3,374 posts)
7. Some teenagers are more mature that was I, who did not harbor any doubt about my indoctrination.
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 09:56 AM
Jun 2018

Last edited Sun Jun 17, 2018, 04:00 PM - Edit history (1)

However, one question I have about the letter is: "When was it written?" My Catholic confirmation occurred in April. From what I have researched on the Internet, the months in which confirmations are usually held are April or May. Did the writer send his or her "Dear Abby" letter before April of this year, and did Abby just now get around to answering it? If so, that's probably understandable, since Abby gets a lot of letters. If the writer is going to be confirmed in April 2019 (some parishes require many weeks of pre-confirmation classes held once per week) the writer is going to be a bit older than usual for undergoing the rite. Is the letter a composite of various letters which Abby has received over the years? Maybe so.

Regardless of the authenticity of the letter, Abby's column raised an interesting point of discussion regardless of whether or not her advice is sound.

. . . . . On Edit: Correcting "2018" to "2019"

Mr.Bill

(24,795 posts)
8. She didn't say she was confirmed,
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 11:48 AM
Jun 2018

just that she was going to classes. When I was in high school, one year of once a week classes were required before confirmation.

Voltaire2

(14,719 posts)
10. Did she recommend keeping the door open
Sun Jun 17, 2018, 04:57 PM
Jun 2018

and having a trusted friend in view while discussing this with the priest?

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