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Not Heidi

(1,457 posts)
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 12:44 PM Apr 2023

I did something wicked

My sisters and I took a road trip to Weed, CA, for the memorial service of a dear friend. It was a wonderful, sad, well-attended event, held at Mark's favorite place: the Mt Shasta Brewing Company. (Excellent lager.)

We split the drive over four days. On Friday, we drove from Huntington Beach to Pleasanton, not far from San Jose, on the first leg. In Pleasanton we stayed at a decent hotel. The first thing I do when I get to my hotel is to look for Gideon. I wasn't disappointed on Friday, for there it was in the nightstand drawer.

Some of you will be aware that fundamentalist Christians believe in the bible as the literal and infallible word of god.

I seated myself comfortably on the bed, phone in one hand and Sharpie in the other. I turned to a mostly-blank page in the front of the book. With my Sharpie, I wrote my heading near the top:

CONTRADICTIONS

How can the "word of god" be infallible if it contains contradictions? Short, logical answer: it can't.

I looked up contradictions dealing with seeing god (some people did, but in the epistles it says that no one has seen god); personal injury (an eye for an eye vs. turn the other cheek); incest (some definite con verses, but Abraham married his sister, Sara); and more.

I spent a delicious, wicked 45 minutes with Gideon. Good thing I don't believe in hell.

44 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I did something wicked (Original Post) Not Heidi Apr 2023 OP
Kickin' Faux pas Apr 2023 #1
Wicked cilla4progress Apr 2023 #2
I'd suggest doing that in a city that's a little more Evangelical. ificandream Apr 2023 #3
Good idea! n/t Not Heidi Apr 2023 #34
When people tell me the bible has no errors.... lastlib Apr 2023 #4
K&R 2naSalit Apr 2023 #5
Nice. NoRethugFriends Apr 2023 #6
I see what you did there. Permanut Apr 2023 #26
Here's some more vlyons Apr 2023 #7
Who created the creator? CrispyQ Apr 2023 #9
That is the Buddhist reason for why there is no creator god vlyons Apr 2023 #22
Ask them to explain the Trilogy multigraincracker Apr 2023 #13
the Trinity dogma was invented in 325 AD vlyons Apr 2023 #20
He also axed out the bit on reincarnation, which had been a part of the tradition until then. TheRickles Apr 2023 #23
Magic! That's how! Ray Bruns Apr 2023 #18
If I had ANY reason to believe in God - which I don't - dchill Apr 2023 #19
Ooh . . . All excellent. n/t Not Heidi Apr 2023 #35
Bwah-hahahah! ChazInAz Apr 2023 #8
We *are* a tribe! Not Heidi Apr 2023 #36
If they really wanted to help humanity they'd leave condoms instead of Bibles. CrispyQ Apr 2023 #10
So...you're an evangelical atheist? Backseat Driver Apr 2023 #11
No . . . Not Heidi Apr 2023 #37
I wish I'd known this wickedness years ago... maspaha Apr 2023 #12
Oh, p'shaw Not Heidi Apr 2023 #38
I bought a used truck with one of those Jesus fish on it. This was back in the days where brewens Apr 2023 #14
Like the drunken priest that got pulled over. multigraincracker Apr 2023 #15
Laughed out loud at that one. Thnx. MMBeilis Apr 2023 #27
And this... twodogsbarking Apr 2023 #16
One of my favorite Beatles songs! LiberalLovinLug Apr 2023 #21
That's not wicked RussBLib Apr 2023 #17
Hey, cool! n/t Not Heidi Apr 2023 #39
I grew up in a fundy house and the easy explanation was that that is in the old testament LiberalLovinLug Apr 2023 #24
I especially like the Old Testament part where God gave the tribes of Israel the "Holy Land" but.... MMBeilis Apr 2023 #29
Yet they follow the 10 commandments that is from the old testament Farmer-Rick Apr 2023 #43
The God part of the brain? LiberalLovinLug Apr 2023 #44
The people who need to see that won't get it. live love laugh Apr 2023 #25
I know. Not Heidi Apr 2023 #40
i know Pleasanton YoshidaYui Apr 2023 #28
I was in a motel once that had the Book of Mormon IronLionZion Apr 2023 #30
A Marriott no doubt (nt) NoRethugFriends Apr 2023 #31
Why a Marriott? n/t Not Heidi Apr 2023 #41
below NoRethugFriends Apr 2023 #42
I've always loved to play Bible with fundies Picaro Apr 2023 #32
I love it, too Not Heidi Apr 2023 #33

ificandream

(10,426 posts)
3. I'd suggest doing that in a city that's a little more Evangelical.
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 12:53 PM
Apr 2023

Pleasanton (I live in the area) really isn't. Next time I visit Southern California.

lastlib

(24,844 posts)
4. When people tell me the bible has no errors....
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 12:54 PM
Apr 2023

...I ask them if the ever tried to do trigonometry with the biblical value of pi.

I don't believe in an actual hell, either, but sometimes it's a useful metaphor.

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
7. Here's some more
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 01:03 PM
Apr 2023

If Jesus was born from a virgin, where did he get his male chromasomes?
How can a 3 day old corpse get up and start walking around?
How did Jesus escape earth's gravity to ascend into heaven without a rocket and oxygen supply?
Where exactly is heaven? Why haven't thousands of telescopes around the world been able to locate it?
How do you turn inorganic matter (water) into organic matter (wine) without a chemical process or lab?
Explain how a bronze age invisible sky god can override the laws of physics and biology.

CrispyQ

(38,166 posts)
9. Who created the creator?
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 01:18 PM
Apr 2023

The answer I got when I asked that question was that God has always been. Then why couldn't the universe have always been, in whatever form it used to be?

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
22. That is the Buddhist reason for why there is no creator god
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 02:47 PM
Apr 2023

All phenomena arise from previous causes and conditions, which begs the question: Who or what created a creator god?

multigraincracker

(34,002 posts)
13. Ask them to explain the Trilogy
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 01:59 PM
Apr 2023

and keep asking which God is the real God. The Father, the Son or the Ghost?

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
20. the Trinity dogma was invented in 325 AD
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 02:44 PM
Apr 2023

at the first council of Nicea, which was convened by Constantine the Great. It is a bit of sophistry that labeled everyone, who didn't accept it as a heretic.

Backseat Driver

(4,635 posts)
11. So...you're an evangelical atheist?
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 01:27 PM
Apr 2023

I have faith those FundieNJs likely won't even bother to pick up that Gideon you defaced in order to advance your viewpoint and bamboozle theirs with reason It ain't the King James, you know. IDK if you're going to hell either, but, yes, you were bad. Did you have something equally and deliciously devilish planned on the mad dash home?

Not Heidi

(1,457 posts)
37. No . . .
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 10:28 PM
Apr 2023

I used up all my creativity with Gideon.

My sisters, also atheists, thought I was just weird. But when the idea hit, I had to run with it.

maspaha

(376 posts)
12. I wish I'd known this wickedness years ago...
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 01:53 PM
Apr 2023

I enjoyed a glamorous 35 year career in aviation flying cargo to exciting destinations in the wee hours of the night and early morning. I have stayed in more hotel rooms across the US and Europe than i care to remember. To think I could have left similar love notes in all of the “Good Books” in all of those rooms…uh, such a missed opportunity

BTW…NotHeidi, you’re a truth tellin’ genius!

 

brewens

(15,359 posts)
14. I bought a used truck with one of those Jesus fish on it. This was back in the days where
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 02:00 PM
Apr 2023

I unfortunately would drink and drive. I was going to take it off and thought, wait a minute, a lot of cops around here are Christians. Maybe that might keep them from looking at me too close at least. Then I went one step farther. I had a small Bible and I tossed it on my dash and left it there.

multigraincracker

(34,002 posts)
15. Like the drunken priest that got pulled over.
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 02:04 PM
Apr 2023

Cop ask if he had been drinking. He said only water. The then asked why he smelled like wine and pointed to the empty bottle. Priest said “oh my God, you’ve done it again.

twodogsbarking

(12,228 posts)
16. And this...
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 02:19 PM
Apr 2023

And now Rocky Raccoon, he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's Bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival, oh, ooh, yeah, yeah

LiberalLovinLug

(14,364 posts)
24. I grew up in a fundy house and the easy explanation was that that is in the old testament
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 03:02 PM
Apr 2023

And when Jesus came, he laid down new laws. Emphasizing love. "But the greatest of these is love".

So instead of killing babies and raping women of your enemy, you "do good to those that hate you".
Instead of getting revenge and hurting back, you "turn the other cheek"
Instead of amassing as much wealth as you can, you "go and sell all that you have, and give to the poor"
Instead of marginalizing the "other" or the disadvantaged, Jesus says "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me"

The only problem is that they decidedly do NOT follow the New Testament's teachings over the Old Testament. That is why I don't think they are real Christians. They don't actually believe in Jesus or his teachings rejecting those old brutal laws.

MMBeilis

(351 posts)
29. I especially like the Old Testament part where God gave the tribes of Israel the "Holy Land" but....
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 03:48 PM
Apr 2023

....said that they first had to go and kill all the other tribes that were living there.

Farmer-Rick

(11,308 posts)
43. Yet they follow the 10 commandments that is from the old testament
Sat Apr 29, 2023, 11:14 AM
Apr 2023

So, that is a lie about Jesus laying down new law. He even said he came to fulfill law not abolish it......again another unbelievable blatant contradiction of Christianity.

There was a Roman leader who lost his favorite to drowning. He started a religion around him. It was a cult that thrived for centuries.

So easy to create religions when they need no proof, evidence or logic.

LiberalLovinLug

(14,364 posts)
44. The God part of the brain?
Sun Apr 30, 2023, 10:44 PM
Apr 2023

Yeah. No better example than L Ron Hubbard. A semi-successful pulp sci fi author. I was a young teen in the seventies and into sci fi then, and even though I knew he had started some kind of science based alternative to religion? I wasn't sure, I thoroughly enjoyed his Battlefield Earth series. Full of crazy over the top characters and funny as hell.
But I could hardly believe it when I watched his cult religion grow into a celebrity fuelled empire.

Then there's Joseph Smith and his twist on Christianity

Its too bad more people don't realize how easily the human mind can fool itself, even themselves. Look at the MAGA movement, fooled by an old cretin like Trump.

YoshidaYui

(42,689 posts)
28. i know Pleasanton
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 03:41 PM
Apr 2023

Its where they had the Pleasanton County Fair each summer. A very warm place in Summer, but according to my father, they had great horse racing there at one point.

https://visittrivalley.com/2018/04/visitpleasanton/

Picaro

(1,792 posts)
32. I've always loved to play Bible with fundies
Tue Apr 18, 2023, 06:05 PM
Apr 2023

Just ask them if they believe that the Bible is the literal word of God and to agree that due to it being the infallible they believe that the Bible not only offers truth but prescriptive truth. If you follow the Bible you’re following the word of God.

But the Bible not only countenances, but demands things like slavery, genocide, murder, incest.

When this is pointed out they stutter, stumble, collapse.

So much fun.😂😉

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