I lost my Mom two weeks ago. She passed away suddenly
at home where she lived alone since my Dad died in 2004. My sister found her as they had plans to go grocery shopping etc. that morning. Mom was hospitalized for a week in June and then two weeks of rehab. She was to have her last PT and released from home care the following day. She was 87 years old and I know how lucky I am to have had her that long.
I'm just numb right now. I'm the Executrix and have been so busy in the last two weeks, which is good I guess because otherwise I would just sit here and cry.
= new reply since forum marked as read
neighbors and they have already helped me so much. .
the best outcome.
Last edited Sat Sep 1, 2018, 05:47 PM - Edit history (1)
After a terrible loss it is easy to put too much pressure on yourself. Take care of YOU too.
*My sister's dog just died two days ago. She was my dog first but got too big for my condo and I had to give her away. I have been very upset and everything reminds me of her...I try to take my mind off of my grief but little things keep coming up and the floodgates open all over again. My neighbor has heard me crying and gave me some of her Xanax which helps. But I have to be kind to myself and not try to do to much, scold myself for doing something and messing it up since it is hard to focus, and stop telling myself to be stronger. We each grieve in our own way. I have doggie photos and a white candle lit. I will not be going to any events where I am supposed to be happy (like a birthday party). Forcing myself to ACT happy makes me feel worse. If I sleep too much or too little, eat too much or too little, etc it is OK. Time will eventually help but that is not too comforting right now. I got a book called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" about 20 years ago. I have "loaned" about 4 copies and never got them back. It is about all losses; the loss of a person or pet, a spouse, a family member, a job, a boy/girlfriend, etc. There are no chapters, just single pages of words of wisdom, poems, reflections and helpful/hopeful ideas since the authors know it is too difficult to focus on more than a few pages at a time. My favorite page is a chart/graph which shows how we recover after a loss. It is like a lightening bolt that goes up and down and higher up then back down a little. Over time it does go up but along the way there are the realistic setbacks that are normal and inevitable.
"Let yourself hurt. Pain naturally follows loss, and the loss of a love is no exception. Fighting the need to grieve will leave you feeling more worn out than living with your grief will do. Don't rush yourself through your grief, either."
https://www.amazon.com/Survive-Loss-Love-Peter-McWilliams/dp/0931580439
It is only $5 so not getting copies back was not a big deal. Check it out. Hang in there. 
of that these past two weeks. I will read your post over and over to remind me.
of your Mom.
You're so right about the new normal. One day I might realize I can't just pick up the phone and tell my Mom something .
Thank you for your kind words of compassion. It's been 5 years, but I can still recall that coroner's visit like it just happened. Most days are okay, our "new normal." Some days are worse, but fewer and farther between. It helps me thinking of how joyful and funny he was and how he would go out of his way to make someone laugh, even total strangers. I try to keep his joy in my heart. Bless you for caring.
and brother.
hope you're doing okay.