Gosh, guys

[boston bean]

I am having a difficult time. I think shock is wearing off and I cant look at a pic of my mom.

I am trying to go through usual motions. I am still working which does help some. But yesterday was tough and today seems same thus far.

Of course motions in COVID era are not usual motions.

I am feeling alone. Although I am not even close to being alone. I have lots of loving support.

The absence of my mothers presence is just heart crushing. I know time will help some.

I guess just typing this out is healthy and healing in its own way.

Thanks for being here and just reading. I hope anyone else dealing with a recent loss is coping as well as can be expected. Hugs and love.

[Ohiogal]

1. I'm so sorry

Wish I could offer more than a virtual hug ....

[Laelth]

2. .

-Laelth

[SheltieLover]

3. So sorry, Boston Bean

Grieving is very hard work, emotionally, psycholigically, and physically. Please remember to practice good self care.

Also, any hospice org will provide 13 months of free bereavement counseling to support you through the "year of firsts," birthday, holiday seasons, etc.

And while they are likely slammed right now, there may be online or telephonic support groups, which reall help a lot.

This is the Hospice Foundation of America's grief support resource page link. I hope it is helpful.

https://hospicefoundation.org/Grief-(1)/Journeys-with-Grief-Articles

[Squinch]

4. It's two steps forward and one step back for a long time.

The only advice I can give is that you should let the grief in when you can. Don't try to push past it or "bear up bravely" or anything like that. Right now you may only be able to let dribbles of it in, and that's OK. As time goes on you may be able to process a little more at a time.

Grief is like a jar of marbles. It is finite. You WILL feel better someday. And each time you process some of your grief you are taking a marble out of the jar. It is a very slow process but someday you WILL feel joy when you think of your mother, and you will feel joy at the new normal your life becomes without her.

I am keeping you in my heart.

[lark]

5. So sorry for your loss.

It's so hard when you lose a beloved mom. My mom died 5 years ago and the grief still hits me in waves, I miss her so much. What I've done is just allowed myself to feel it, to cry and grieve, then move on. Over time, it gets easier, the crying doesn't last as long, the grief isn't quite as piercing. The love and good memories need never go away.

[mercuryblues]

6. It's only natural to feel this way

You physically lost the 1 person who was always in your corner. She could heal a scraped knee with a kiss. Make your heartache ease with a hug. Her love was unconditional. When a job fell through, she is the 1st person to call. Even though she couldn't really fix things for you, the sound of her voice was comfort. You knew you weren't in it alone.

Now you think, because your mother isn't physically with you anymore that is gone. It's not. She gave you her wisdom and strength to carry on without her. Most importantly she has given you her love. By doing so she has shown you how to love. That love will never go away.

Feel your grief, your anger and your pain. She also showed you how to endure loss as profound as this.

Just know this, there will be a day whether in calm and quiet, or in a crowded room full of noise you will find a sense of peace and warmth, Savor it

it has been 10 years since my Mom died, those are the lessons I learned. I still talk to her. She may not be actually answering me back, but the lessons she taught me from birth gave me the tools to "know" what she would say if she were still here.

[shenmue]

7. I am sorry

[Bernardo de La Paz]

8. Hang in there and reach out when you feel a wish to. You'll get through

Your mother would understand your feelings and would want you to get better in good time, so you will.

Do what you can and be patient about the rest.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

9. Several years ago I had a particularly difficult loss.

I learned various things because of it, and this is the one I'll share with you. If you have any spiritual beliefs, go there. And, quite frankly, if you have zero spiritual beliefs, go there also. Acknowledge and embrace whatever comforts you, or has meaning to you.

[MissMillie]

10. I completely understand

My mom passed on 7/14. Alzheimer's Disease and heart trouble. She caught Covid-19, and I guess beat it, but fighting it off put her into rapid and fatal decline.

I'm about to have a birthday, and as it approaches I just feel so empty. My first birthday without her. My heart aches.

[boston bean]

11. Oh MissMillie, my warmest, heartfelt condolences to you!

I hope my virtual hugs are reaching their intended point.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

It is not easy. Hang in there.

[IADEMO2004]

12. Well last week I called home and when my wife said hello I woke up.

She died over four years ago. Gutted for a few days again. Dreams happen a few times a year but now with all the chaos bouncing back is tough.

Lots of family and friends around but their happy husband and wife back and forth conversations are reminders of what was.

I have the feeling alone too but normal days it stays way back in a corner.

Anyway Thank You for your post and the opening for me to vent a bit.

Peace, Health, and Happiness to You Boston Bean