I can actually physically feel the heaviness
We lost mom last Tuesday.
There's been some tears, of course.
And some make-busy work... picking blueberries, tending to the garden, cooking and baking, household chores, etc.
And of course there's the funeral arrangements (no small feat considering the pandemic and the restrictions--private funeral which means finalizing an invite list and getting the invites out). And making sure Al and I have what we need to attend--do we have something appropriate to wear? will it fit?
And for the past 2 days, just thinking about it--I'm so overwhelmed that it feels like it's hard to even breathe.
I'm of course relieved that she's not struggling anymore.
I miss my mom. I keep thinking that she'd know what to say or do to make me feel better.
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For me, the first week was the worst. After that I started not being in so much pain, the waves slowed down and let me breathe in between.
Please accept my sincere condolences. 
May your beloved mother rest in peace.
you will hear her voice now, whenever you have a decision to make, etc., even when you are buying clothes.
My mom lives inside me, I hear her all the time... it's a wonderful feeling
2018 and just now feel like I can breathe. You will get everything you need to do done. You may feel numb as if you’re just going through the motions. Take deep breaths and don’t be hard on yourself .
Grieving is hard work - emotionally, psycuologically, & physically.
Please remember to engage in good self care; eat, sleep, & do deep breathing to help you.
Have you contacted a hospice bereavement center or other counselor? Any hospice should provide 13 months of counseling free to support you through what they refer to as the year of firsts; birthdays, holidays, etc.
So sorry you are going through this. 
better" I know exactly what you mean. I lost my mom in Feb. What a hole they leave.
I remember it well.
Your mom is still with you. She will let you know.
and may she rest in peace knowing you will carry on with the right things in life. Carry her with you in your mind as you do those chores.
Lost my wife of 54 years last fall and the kids and I we were just getting back on our feet when coronavirus hit. Thank goodness none of have yet been sick.
Layer all that with depression and all the crap that comes with getting older is a daily challenge and I'm so grateful for DU friends like you that share their pain, making us a great community. That's what keeps me sane these days.
KY........
paz 
I'm having a mixed emotion moment myself a dear old family friend was just moved to hospice yesterday after a two-month fight and a lot of pain after a stroke. 2 months of trying to visit through windows in 100 degree heat, with phones that don't work and now we finally can go in and see him and hold his hand. 
The end of suffering is a good thing and our memories are important but it's so sad to see them gone. Take care of yourself.
look for the signs
"I miss my mom." It hurts to hear those words, it hurts to say those words.
💕
The loss of a mother is hard when it happens, no matter the circumstances. Please take special care of you during this time. Grief can take away your energy as you deal with it. Hugs and prayers on their way to you. 
how devastating this week is for you. I wish peace and solace for you during these trying times.
I am so sorry about your mom.
