Time passes, but still

[Marthe48]

My neighbor texted me yesterday and was sad because it was her wedding anniversary. Her husband passed away 2 years ago. I suggested she do something special for herself. I mentioned that on my 50th anniversary in June, I am going to have a steak. She and her young grandson ordered food from a local place that she and her husband liked and it seemed to make the day better for her. I was glad about that. We all make our way through loss different ways, different lengths of time.

I had decided to mark my 50th anniversary and try to make it a stepping stone away from grieving. I am thinking what I want to do. I'll keep the pictures out. So far, so good.

I went out to the mailbox today and on the way back to the house, noticed that there are buds on the peonies. When my husband and I were married, my Mom made a bouquet of peonies and roses for me to carry. When we moved from that house, my Mom took some of those peonies plants and transplanted them to our next house. When we moved to this house, she transplanted some plants again, so many years ago, I don't remember. I do know that the peonies in this yard haven't bloomed for me. But this year, the year of our 50th anniversary, there will be blooms on this generation of peonies. It made me happy to see the buds, happy to think about continuity. Mom didn't know I'd need to see those buds, and I didn't know I did either. It is one of the best presents I could have

[Dale in Laurel MD]

1. April 30 would have been our 50th anniversary.

I marked it with flowers on her grave, as I do every year. This year I took advantage of a little bare ground right next to the headstone and left a little additional message. I used pressed sugar letters (the kind used to put an edible message on a cake) and put her initials, my initials, and the number 50. (Sugar used so it could get eaten or soak into the ground with the first rain, whichever came first.)

[Marthe48]

2. How thoughtful

I don't have a grave to visit. Love the idea of a sweet message

[livetohike]

3. Thank you for this sweet post. Sometimes it's noticing

the little things that brings us comfort. I love peonies (and roses). What a wonderful memory .

[Marthe48]

4. Our 50th wedding anniversary is today

I guess without my husband, it is a commemorative date. I got a good steak from the small grocery store in town. I wll have it with mushrooms and a salad later today.

I was going to watch my grand kids today, but there was a change of plans and I don't have to. I have my chores caught up. I never liked to do dishes on any special days. I had a long coffee morning and am trying to think of what I want to do.

John has been gone over 4 years. I looked forward to this milestone, hoping that I can shed some of the strategies I used to get to this day. I miss him, but overall, I feel less mournful. I don't mind being alone, because I never feel alone.

The peonies bloomed and faded. Now the calla lilies have bloomed. Their elegant beauty catches my eye every time I step outside, even though they are peeking through their thicket of leaves. There is joy, we just have to see it.