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Duncanpup

(13,740 posts)
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:04 AM Nov 2023

Sister in law friend kept asking me out.

I’m not looking or interested or ready been year since I lost Liz i doubt I’ll ever date again.

Sister in law gave my number to friend without permission my youngest brother and her very conservative and they know this lady from the church they attend.

So she was texting me I’m being polite yet she is not understanding I’m not interested yet she keeps pushing the your only 57 we shouldn’t be alone.
And so she text me yesterday asking what would it take for us to go out and see if we have chemistry.

I replied if you wanna get naked on our first date and paint each other with Elmer’s paste we used in elementary school and let me lick it off your elbows ok I’ll go out.

She responded in all caps WHAT.

I replied I’m a freak. Have not heard from her since.

56 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Sister in law friend kept asking me out. (Original Post) Duncanpup Nov 2023 OP
Too funny! MOMFUDSKI Nov 2023 #1
People who won't take No for an answer Diamond_Dog Nov 2023 #2
Well played! And I wonder what she'll tell your sister-in-law? Ocelot II Nov 2023 #3
yeah, we deserve an update to the OP once he has talked to his sister in law or brother prodigitalson Nov 2023 #19
I second the motion! ShazzieB Nov 2023 #47
Maybe that... 2naSalit Nov 2023 #4
Have to be careful with that. She might like it. Srkdqltr Nov 2023 #5
Win win. Lochloosa Nov 2023 #26
Very well played! N/t gay texan Nov 2023 #6
Nicely played!😂🤣 Hope22 Nov 2023 #7
Wow how ignorant Duncanpup Nov 2023 #10
Hahahahaha!!!! Goddessartist Nov 2023 #8
What if she said "That's my favorite 2st date!" ? KS Toronado Nov 2023 #9
Parole Officer says I have to be in by nine or back to prison. Where do you want to go? twodogsbarking Nov 2023 #11
Well done, sir! Jean Genie Nov 2023 #12
Good thing she didn't say "sounds like fun". Keep your sense of humor. Things will go your way. twodogsbarking Nov 2023 #13
You're my hero. Jello works if you're out of paste. Hermit-The-Prog Nov 2023 #14
Just reminded me of a guy I worked with. He said he and a gal put wesson oil MOMFUDSKI Nov 2023 #53
See if we have chemistry would have sent me running too. Freethinker65 Nov 2023 #15
My brother, widowed 8 years, is finally dating again Freddie Nov 2023 #16
I'd block her if it's your cell phone she's contacting. littlemissmartypants Nov 2023 #17
I rather like being alone PatSeg Nov 2023 #18
Well said! BigOleDummy Nov 2023 #31
Thanks PatSeg Nov 2023 #37
Greatest reply ever!!! Moostache Nov 2023 #20
Its rather disrespectful to your privacy and to your right to grieve. 70sEraVet Nov 2023 #21
lol, good for you! nt Habibi Nov 2023 #22
Having been a widower relayerbob Nov 2023 #23
Perhaps you misread the original post . . . SarcasticSatyr Nov 2023 #33
I read the whole post relayerbob Nov 2023 #42
...and what would you have done if she said..."ooo kinky...game on...see you soon..." Lucky Luciano Nov 2023 #24
Lmao cate94 Nov 2023 #25
She's just lonely. Sad. LakeArenal Nov 2023 #27
People just don't understand. If she's that pushy with everyone, no wonder why she is alone! Ziggysmom Nov 2023 #28
It's too soon. barbtries Nov 2023 #29
I am proud to call you, Friend Bayard Nov 2023 #30
I love it! LoisB Nov 2023 #32
What about Elmers glue, then roll around in glitter? That might be acceptable and freaky enough. Hey, we've TeamProg Nov 2023 #34
Good for you! WinstonSmith4740 Nov 2023 #35
good job. WhiteTara Nov 2023 #36
Stick with the dogs. They're the best company you can have (except for cats.) japple Nov 2023 #38
One dog is about the same trouble as five cats so I am sticking with a cat n/t. airplaneman Nov 2023 #44
FWIW, my husband died in 2004. I was 54 yrs. old. I have never been interested in japple Nov 2023 #45
Take care, Duncanpup. If and when you are ready to date again, you will know when and who that will be. debm55 Nov 2023 #39
Thanks for this Marthe48 Nov 2023 #40
this gal has already displayed traits that make her unappealing Skittles Nov 2023 #41
If she shows up with red, white and blue glitter... rubbersole Nov 2023 #43
Well played. MLAA Nov 2023 #46
You may not have heard from her because she is moniss Nov 2023 #48
The only thing is.. Permanut Nov 2023 #49
Ah Dunc, who knew you were kinky? The dog hair would likely scare her away. twodogsbarking Nov 2023 #50
Give her a cpl weeks to think it over Beachnutt Nov 2023 #51
Good for you. Polly Hennessey Nov 2023 #52
A classic case of pushy coming to being shoved DFW Nov 2023 #54
I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am you lost your wife. It is horrible to lose someone you love. PatrickforB Nov 2023 #55
Made me laugh. Very sorry for your loss. Joinfortmill Nov 2023 #56
 

MOMFUDSKI

(7,080 posts)
1. Too funny!
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:10 AM
Nov 2023

Sometimes it’s those church ladies that really let it all hang out. lol. Totally understand you are not ready yet. I would expect your Liz would want you to find someone to be happy with. But in your own time. Take care of yourself.

Diamond_Dog

(35,002 posts)
2. People who won't take No for an answer
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:15 AM
Nov 2023

Biggest PITAs.

And thats wrong to give out your # without your permission. I hope she understands never to do that again.

Ocelot II

(121,236 posts)
3. Well played! And I wonder what she'll tell your sister-in-law?
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:18 AM
Nov 2023

She should have respected where you are personally in the first place, and the persistent church lady shouldn't have needed threats of nakedness to get the hint, but...

2naSalit

(93,115 posts)
4. Maybe that...
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:23 AM
Nov 2023

Will do the trick. It sucks to have people push when you aren't shopping.

I have found that, at a certain point, getting rude is a necessity. You could block her number too.



Anyway, do what feels best for you and one year can be far too early. You need longer than that to heal enough to look up from the trail, if you ever feel the need to.

Hope22

(3,042 posts)
7. Nicely played!😂🤣
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:50 AM
Nov 2023

Nothing in it for you to actively invite a conservative church lady into the pack! The thought is exhausting! You tried to be nice. Ultimately the freak must fly before they get the message. My guess is your sister in law won’t be passing out your number in the future!
My conservative sister was welcomed at the Thanksgiving table last year. Small gathering. My son, his new wife and four others. At the table She turned to my son’s single male friend and asked what his story was. Was he gay or were they a thruple? This year I had to pass on inviting her. There is no end to the rudeness. Take care and thanks for the laugh!

Goddessartist

(2,067 posts)
8. Hahahahaha!!!!
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:53 AM
Nov 2023

What a visual! A naked church lady getting glue licked off of her elbows! I'll bet she thinks about it!

twodogsbarking

(12,230 posts)
13. Good thing she didn't say "sounds like fun". Keep your sense of humor. Things will go your way.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:02 AM
Nov 2023
 

MOMFUDSKI

(7,080 posts)
53. Just reminded me of a guy I worked with. He said he and a gal put wesson oil
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 10:13 PM
Nov 2023

on a WATERBED mattress. It disintegrated the waterbed. But he said it was worth it! We all roared with laughter.

Freethinker65

(11,150 posts)
15. See if we have chemistry would have sent me running too.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:09 AM
Nov 2023

Honestly, meeting up with someone new/relatively unknown (not the pushy chemistry woman) to have adult conversation on a variety of topics might be a positive thing.

Freddie

(9,725 posts)
16. My brother, widowed 8 years, is finally dating again
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:20 AM
Nov 2023

He’s hooking up with a long-ago girlfriend from before he met his wife. She’s married. Ugh.

littlemissmartypants

(25,717 posts)
17. I'd block her if it's your cell phone she's contacting.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:26 AM
Nov 2023

But before I did it, I'd let her know that you're blocking her.

I would also be tempted to text her if she tries to contact you again, you’d consider her a stalker, which is against the law. But that's my inclination as a woman who's been stalked and had to get a couple of restraining orders.

Being bizarre in your response may have worked for the moment. I suspect that you may be referred to her prayer circle by now.

Don't be surprised if she tries again to check and see how her prayer circle strategy is working.

She's clearly not a sensible or compassionate person. That's proof of no chemistry in itself.

I'm so sorry that you lost your sweetheart. I also understand that anyone else would be a downgrade.

Stay encouraged, Duncanpup. We love you.



Ps: I would have to let SIL know that you don't want you phone number shared again without permission. If you needed her help you would have asked.

I would also have to have SIL tell her friend, that she was wrong to share your number without your permission. I'd also be tempted to have
SIL reiterate to her friend that you're not interested in dating her and she shouldn't contact you again.

I know nothing that I suggest may be your style. But I'm suggesting from my perspective as someone who doesn't like to see another person who's grieving be misunderstood in their grief. It's hard enough as it is. You don't need others making it even more difficult. I guess it's just my INFJ tendency to be protective kicking in. ❤️

PatSeg

(49,751 posts)
18. I rather like being alone
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:26 AM
Nov 2023

I don't understand this obsession some people have with trying to set people up with a mate. A person can be alone without being lonely.

You handled that quite well, being she wasn't willing to take "no" for an answer.

70sEraVet

(4,198 posts)
21. Its rather disrespectful to your privacy and to your right to grieve.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 11:54 AM
Nov 2023

Both by your SIL and her church friend.
On DU, we have been deeply touched by your willingness to share your pain with us.

relayerbob

(7,055 posts)
23. Having been a widower
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 12:12 PM
Nov 2023

I understand your position. But being that incredibly rude is neither funny nor appropriate. Our society seems to be thriving on hurting and fucking with others, and we should not be contributing to that. A simple no, thank you and then moving on is all that is required.

SarcasticSatyr

(1,292 posts)
33. Perhaps you misread the original post . . .
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 01:09 PM
Nov 2023

He started out very polite and told her repeatedly that he was not interested. Some people have difficulty with the word no. In those cases, a different tactic is required.

relayerbob

(7,055 posts)
42. I read the whole post
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 05:55 PM
Nov 2023

There was no point in a second response, much less the additional snark and rudeness. You say no, they persist, you block. Very simple.

Ziggysmom

(3,618 posts)
28. People just don't understand. If she's that pushy with everyone, no wonder why she is alone!
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 12:34 PM
Nov 2023

I was alone for nearly 10 years, in my forties. I was frequently the subject of matchmaking friends and family. It gets annoying! Even when you are honest with people that you are not interested, they keep pushing. I hope she gets the picture after your funny reply.

barbtries

(29,915 posts)
29. It's too soon.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 12:36 PM
Nov 2023

Maybe you won't have to live out your whole life without a woman in it duncanpup, but it is premature to think it would happen this soon.

I probably would have said I'm a liberal atheist who out liberals my own children and if you voted for trump or look at fox that's a hard no.

LoisB

(8,875 posts)
32. I love it!
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 01:02 PM
Nov 2023

Maybe that will teach her to take hints. I would have a talk with sister-in-law about giving out your number without your permission.

 

TeamProg

(6,630 posts)
34. What about Elmers glue, then roll around in glitter? That might be acceptable and freaky enough. Hey, we've
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 01:11 PM
Nov 2023

all done that, right? .. right?

WinstonSmith4740

(3,161 posts)
35. Good for you!
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 01:42 PM
Nov 2023

I love it! I lost my Michael over 13 years ago, and really have no interest in "coupling up" again. Some people can't get their minds around the fact that there's a difference between "alone" and "lonely".

japple

(10,369 posts)
45. FWIW, my husband died in 2004. I was 54 yrs. old. I have never been interested in
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 07:11 PM
Nov 2023

dating or seeking another partner. You might at some point, but don't let anyone push you into anything. After reading your OP, you don't seem like the type who would be vulnerable to that.

debm55

(37,435 posts)
39. Take care, Duncanpup. If and when you are ready to date again, you will know when and who that will be.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 04:07 PM
Nov 2023

Marthe48

(19,199 posts)
40. Thanks for this
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 05:16 PM
Nov 2023

I laid down for a nap and dreamed my husband was with me and my mom was in the kitchen. It was a nice dream. Back to reality when I woke up. I needed a lift from someone who understands.

It does have to be the most creative 'No' I've ever read and I bet no one from the church ever asks you out, ever. Well done! lol

Skittles

(159,965 posts)
41. this gal has already displayed traits that make her unappealing
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 05:32 PM
Nov 2023

no matter how much time goes by

rubbersole

(8,641 posts)
43. If she shows up with red, white and blue glitter...
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 06:22 PM
Nov 2023

...USA,USA,USA!
Take one for Uncle Sam!

MLAA

(18,654 posts)
46. Well played.
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 07:20 PM
Nov 2023

When you have loved and been loved as you and Liz have been that might just be enough for one lifetime. I can’t imagine life with anyone other than Michael when he is gone.

moniss

(6,074 posts)
48. You may not have heard from her because she is
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 08:49 PM
Nov 2023

out arranging for funds and delivery of a truckload of Elmer's.

Permanut

(6,701 posts)
49. The only thing is..
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 09:01 PM
Nov 2023

that paste tasted terrible, if I recall.

Maybe if you went with hot fudge or marionberry jam.

Beachnutt

(8,148 posts)
51. Give her a cpl weeks to think it over
Sat Nov 25, 2023, 09:51 PM
Nov 2023

she'll be calling again and take you up on it as long as you keep it on the downlow, those christian women are kinky behind closed doors.

DFW

(56,741 posts)
54. A classic case of pushy coming to being shoved
Sun Nov 26, 2023, 12:38 AM
Nov 2023

No wonder some one like that is alone and doesn‘t want to be (and probably always will be). It sounds like the only chemistry possible with one such as her would be on the order of oil and water.

Good for you on both your initial patience, as well as your response once that patience was exhausted.

I fully sympathize with your current sentiments. I met my wife 49 years ago, and I‘d be a wreck without her. I‘m not solitary by nature, but my hat goes off to any woman who would be willing to even try to take her place if I were to lose her.

PatrickforB

(15,121 posts)
55. I don't think I ever told you how sorry I am you lost your wife. It is horrible to lose someone you love.
Sun Nov 26, 2023, 12:58 AM
Nov 2023

I truly wish you the best.

Good move on the Elmer's paste, by the way. I'm thinking they won't be trying to make any more matches.

Joinfortmill

(16,567 posts)
56. Made me laugh. Very sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 26, 2023, 08:48 AM
Nov 2023

If you take to it, there is a certain peacefulness from traveling life in the alone lane. I've done it for 30 years now, mostly because I couldn't find a compatible partner, but maybe because that was always my comfort zone. Take care.

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