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SleeplessinSoCal

(9,714 posts)
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:36 PM Jul 2024

Gone too soon at 95 1/2. My darling darling died.

My hubby died a week ago here in our bedroom, receiving hospice care, and where I could "love him up". He had Alzheimer's for nearly 10 years which took away, among so many things, his fear of death. He was and will always be my everything. We were so lucky to tell each other all the time "I love you". To which he would often respond with "Aren't we a lucky boy and girll?" ❤️

He received hospice care for 17 days. He was eating 3 meals a day for 15 days. His vitals were great until the last day. I love and am grateful to morphine in a way I never imagined. We could be together in the home we both love. Sadly the news we would watch together was nearly unbearable. So we watched his faves Monk and Seinfeld, as well as The Andy Griffith Show. And in the last week's The Weather Channel. News without watching "the news". We had visitors. The day I told him we were receiving visits from 6 relatives nearly killed me. He asked "what's the occasion?".

Today I may not get out of bed. The news is just too horrific. Family has rallied. But we have too many Trumpers to be able to talk politics anymore. This place is the only safe space for me now. DU and carefully curated, escapist streaming services. Last night John Mullaney. Saturday we had a planned pool party for family and I was able to play a PBS Great Performances video version of Alice in Wonderland he was in from 1983. It was such a a lovely way to have him present for the gathering.

I just realized it was one week ago, to the minute that I lost him. This is so hard. He was so full of life. And I'm so lucky that horrible disease didn't take away his loving personality. He was adorable and always will be. I love him so much.

111 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Gone too soon at 95 1/2. My darling darling died. (Original Post) SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 OP
I am so so verry sorry for your great great loss. irisblue Jul 2024 #1
I'm so very sorry for your loss. DarthDem Jul 2024 #2
I'm so sorry for your loss. greatauntoftriplets Jul 2024 #3
Condolences, SleeplessinSoCal gademocrat7 Jul 2024 #4
My deepest sympathies and condolences to you. Marcus IM Jul 2024 #5
Sincere and heartfelt condolences to you and your great loss. SheilaAnn Jul 2024 #6
Your profound love and your profound loss has touch me, here in Ohio, a stranger. I wish for you Ninga Jul 2024 #7
What a sweet tribute. 3catwoman3 Jul 2024 #8
Heartfelt condolences to you. Desert grandma Jul 2024 #9
I am so sorry for your loss. redstatebluegirl Jul 2024 #10
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Hugs. sinkingfeeling Jul 2024 #11
At this time and space, my heart is with you. Try to live. I'll bet that's what he'd want. chouchou Jul 2024 #12
Your tribute is beautiful and a life together many could only hope for. Deuxcents Jul 2024 #13
I am so sorry... Hugs. All the peaceful, loving vibes to you onecaliberal Jul 2024 #14
what a sweet post Kali Jul 2024 #15
I'm so sorry for your loss cate94 Jul 2024 #16
He still loves you. Keep that in your heart. ancianita Jul 2024 #17
Your post is a testament to a great love! cilla4progress Jul 2024 #18
Your words are so very touching. Sogo Jul 2024 #19
Seems like Codifer Jul 2024 #20
I'm so sorry you have lost your love. AllyCat Jul 2024 #21
So very sorry Lulu KC Jul 2024 #22
I'm so sorry for your loss. StarryNite Jul 2024 #23
So saddened by your loss....thank goodnesss for memories.... Karadeniz Jul 2024 #24
I'm so sorry. His passing was spent with the love of his life. I cannot imagine your grief. NoSheep Jul 2024 #25
Holding you and your beloved husband in my heart. lapucelle Jul 2024 #26
I'm so very sorry for your loss. KS Toronado Jul 2024 #27
I'm so sorry for your loss. How much you must miss him. femmedem Jul 2024 #28
My condolences, SleeplessinSoCal nuxvomica Jul 2024 #29
We were both there. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #59
Sleepless in SoCal, sending you love, mahina Jul 2024 #30
So Sorry people Jul 2024 #31
Oh, Sleepless... thank you so much for sharing your love and your pain. TygrBright Jul 2024 #32
Oh, Sleepless. summer_in_TX Jul 2024 #33
My condolences and thank you for sharing this. How lucky that you found each other. chowder66 Jul 2024 #34
From your beautiful tribute, I can only imagine the love between you two. I am truly sorry for your loss. LoisB Jul 2024 #35
I am so sorry for his passing. Thanks for sharing what was a really wonderful marriage and life together. Take care. Evolve Dammit Jul 2024 #36
I am so sorry for your loss, SleeplessinSoCal. sheshe2 Jul 2024 #37
Peace Roy Rolling Jul 2024 #38
Thanks very much for sharing. I'm sorry you're going through this. You have my sincere sympathies. Oopsie Daisy Jul 2024 #39
Sending you love and peace. PittBlue Jul 2024 #40
I'm... JoeOtterbein Jul 2024 #41
So sorry IbogaProject Jul 2024 #42
I'm so sorry for your loss. Solly Mack Jul 2024 #43
Oh my, he sounds lovely. Hugs. Joinfortmill Jul 2024 #44
Sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Ziggysmom Jul 2024 #45
I'm so very sorry JustAnotherGen Jul 2024 #46
Your husband sounds wonderful Laurelin Jul 2024 #47
So very sorry! PortTack Jul 2024 #48
Saddened. cachukis Jul 2024 #49
You are fortunate beyond words. Ligyron Jul 2024 #50
Of course my greatest sympathies birdographer Jul 2024 #51
All the best Botany Jul 2024 #52
Very sorry oldtime dfl_er Jul 2024 #53
Sending you all the love and care and sympathy and support that I can muster. calimary Jul 2024 #54
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your husband. livetohike Jul 2024 #55
What a wonderful relationship you had PatSeg Jul 2024 #56
I'm so sorry for your loss 🩵 live love laugh Jul 2024 #57
No doubt lillypaddle Jul 2024 #58
I'm so sorry for your great loss. No words are enough. Ocelot II Jul 2024 #60
I'm so sorry Bettie Jul 2024 #61
I'm so sorry for your loss, Sleepless. brer cat Jul 2024 #62
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Habitation Jul 2024 #63
Sorry for your loss Groundhawg Jul 2024 #64
if all good people read these responses.. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #65
so sorry, so very hard....❤️ peacebuzzard Jul 2024 #66
Some food for thought on empathy. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #67
I am sorry for your loss LetMyPeopleVote Jul 2024 #68
I know... Richluu Jul 2024 #69
My deepest condolences to you and your family. HeartsCanHope Jul 2024 #70
So very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife three months ago. maveric Jul 2024 #71
Thank you for sharing him - what a wonderful tribute TBF Jul 2024 #72
I'm so very, very sorry. KatyaR Jul 2024 #73
Deepest sympathy orangecrush Jul 2024 #74
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to your husband is tremendously moving. highplainsdem Jul 2024 #75
Thank you highplainsdem for sharing this. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #78
What a great picture, and great memories! I'm so glad there's video of that performance. highplainsdem Jul 2024 #86
One of the On Your Toes dancers reached out and said... SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #87
That was an amazing scene - I'll post video from the film below. And I found a photo of David in that scene highplainsdem Jul 2024 #93
Thanks! SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #98
You're very welcome! Thanks for posting the photo, larger than I saw it on that website, with your guy highplainsdem Jul 2024 #108
Lovely thoughts. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #109
. Demovictory9 Jul 2024 #76
So very sorry for your loss. Nululu Jul 2024 #77
A wonderful tribute to your husband and your wonderful life together. Fla Dem Jul 2024 #79
I am very sorry for your loss. I have come to think of grief like this: NNadir Jul 2024 #80
I'm so sorry, SleeplessinSoCal MerrilyMerrily Jul 2024 #81
I'm so sorry. MiKenMi33 Jul 2024 #82
Oh my. MontanaMama Jul 2024 #83
How lucky you were/are to have babylonsister Jul 2024 #84
My sincere condolences. 58Sunliner Jul 2024 #85
I am so sorry UpInArms Jul 2024 #88
I understand part of your journey very, very, well. MLAA Jul 2024 #89
Sleepless...... essaynnc Jul 2024 #90
May his memory Mme. Defarge Jul 2024 #91
Thank you for sharing, your love for eachother is the beauty Bluethroughu Jul 2024 #92
(.) dchill Jul 2024 #94
May your earlier memories of him be a blessing. surfered Jul 2024 #95
I am so sorry you have lost your love, Sleepless. LudwigPastorius Jul 2024 #96
Dear SleeplessinSoCal what a profound and poignant post. littlemissmartypants Jul 2024 #97
my deepest sympathy for your loss, I cannot imagine the hole in your heart you must have Celerity Jul 2024 #99
I am very sorry. n/t S/V Loner Jul 2024 #100
so sorry to hear peasant one Jul 2024 #101
I'm sorry for your loss. area51 Jul 2024 #102
My heart breaks for you...I am so very sorry. Mad_Dem_X Jul 2024 #103
I am so sorry. pandr32 Jul 2024 #104
Missing my old boy dem in texas Jul 2024 #105
I'm so very very sorry for your tremendous loss. 😢 benfranklin1776 Jul 2024 #106
Reading this really touched my heart. Sucha NastyWoman Jul 2024 #107
I have family. And friends. SleeplessinSoCal Jul 2024 #110
So soon... sounds like he's still there... in heart Festivito Jul 2024 #111

gademocrat7

(11,195 posts)
4. Condolences, SleeplessinSoCal
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:40 PM
Jul 2024

on the loss of your beloved husband. Sending hugs and love. Take care.

 

Marcus IM

(3,001 posts)
5. My deepest sympathies and condolences to you.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:41 PM
Jul 2024

So glad you had quality loving time at the end.

Condolences to you, your family and friends.

Ninga

(8,625 posts)
7. Your profound love and your profound loss has touch me, here in Ohio, a stranger. I wish for you
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:45 PM
Jul 2024

a cushion of love, peace, and the comfort of knowing your loss is felt in far off places.

Desert grandma

(1,055 posts)
9. Heartfelt condolences to you.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:51 PM
Jul 2024

Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease. It is so obvious from your writing that you two shared a very special love. Please know that all of us at DU are here for you in whatever way we can be helpful. I hope that the wonderful memories of your of your hubby and knowing we care about you will give you some comfort and peace.

redstatebluegirl

(12,492 posts)
10. I am so sorry for your loss.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 12:53 PM
Jul 2024

I hope you know we are all here for you. Be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

Deuxcents

(19,960 posts)
13. Your tribute is beautiful and a life together many could only hope for.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 01:24 PM
Jul 2024

And I would be one of them. My sincere condolences across the miles 💐

cilla4progress

(25,968 posts)
18. Your post is a testament to a great love!
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:13 PM
Jul 2024

Safe passage. May his memory be a blessing, dear Sleepless!

Sogo

(5,809 posts)
19. Your words are so very touching.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:14 PM
Jul 2024

I'm sure he is with you even now....

My deepest sympathies to you.

AllyCat

(17,165 posts)
21. I'm so sorry you have lost your love.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:18 PM
Jul 2024

What a beautiful tribute you have shared with us. Peace to you.

Lulu KC

(4,710 posts)
22. So very sorry
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:19 PM
Jul 2024

Grief. Like swimming through mud. You are wise to insulate yourself from anything that is less than sympathetic.

StarryNite

(10,872 posts)
23. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:19 PM
Jul 2024

Based on the things you said he must have been a beautiful person. R.I.P. sweet soul.

NoSheep

(8,275 posts)
25. I'm so sorry. His passing was spent with the love of his life. I cannot imagine your grief.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:21 PM
Jul 2024

May your memories bring you peace and comfort.

Sincerely,
NoSheep

femmedem

(8,449 posts)
28. I'm so sorry for your loss. How much you must miss him.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:23 PM
Jul 2024

And alongside my condolences, I agree that you are lucky he stayed his loving self and was able to communicate with you. My mother had Alzheimer's and was nonverbal for nearly a year before she died.

Thank you for sharing this portrait of him and of your shared love with us.

nuxvomica

(12,935 posts)
29. My condolences, SleeplessinSoCal
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:24 PM
Jul 2024

Rarely do I find a connection with this sort of post but I have one: I attended a "mad tea party" in Central Park to promote the 1983 Great Performances version of Alice in Wonderland. I met Kate Burton, Colleen Dewhurst, and Maureen Stapleton at the event. Perhaps your husband was there. Regardless, life is full of these unexpected and random connections and this one brought me here to revisit a fond memory, and to join others in consoling you. Peace to you.

SleeplessinSoCal

(9,714 posts)
59. We were both there.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:30 PM
Jul 2024

It was such a fun way to celebrate that production. The video is on YouTube. I sent it to the senior center play readers. One responded...

He waltzed into the room, tall and charming
and acknowledged the scattered applause
before sitting with his buddies, John and Harve.
Jeanne assigned the roles to read.

David came by his love of drama honestly,
having acted and danced professionally.
Covid lockdown was a blow for the Readers
and Zooming became (not for all) a panacea.

When any problems beset us, we adapt;
Zooming allowed him to attend meetings
when mobility, and even life, faltered.
We wish we could Zoom with heaven.

people

(705 posts)
31. So Sorry
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:25 PM
Jul 2024

So very sorry for your loss of your beloved partner. I'm glad you were able to spend your lives together. His kind loving spirit will keep you going.

TygrBright

(20,987 posts)
32. Oh, Sleepless... thank you so much for sharing your love and your pain.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:26 PM
Jul 2024

I have that kind of love, too... the thought of losing it chills me, but not as much as the thought of never having it at all.

We are here for you.

Of course the pain is overwhelming... the moments ambush you, the empty space where his presence was is a raw wound of loss...

Keep on.

We love you.

sadly,
Bright

summer_in_TX

(3,267 posts)
33. Oh, Sleepless.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:26 PM
Jul 2024

I am so very sorry. But I'm glad you had those blessings, that he continued to be loving and lovable, and that above all you got to have him at home where you all could be with him and love him to the end.

Prayers for you and yours, for comfort and peace.

LoisB

(8,875 posts)
35. From your beautiful tribute, I can only imagine the love between you two. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:31 PM
Jul 2024

Evolve Dammit

(18,965 posts)
36. I am so sorry for his passing. Thanks for sharing what was a really wonderful marriage and life together. Take care.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:35 PM
Jul 2024

sheshe2

(87,879 posts)
37. I am so sorry for your loss, SleeplessinSoCal.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:36 PM
Jul 2024

May your beautiful memories give you comfort and peace.

Roy Rolling

(7,189 posts)
38. Peace
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:41 PM
Jul 2024

What can we say when the supernatural has robbed us of the significance of our mere mortal words? How can they touch the soul that gave life to the glorious being that is/was your hubby?

It sounds like he brought love wherever he was found, and you sharing a bit of that love with me now is especially heartwarming.

You never know who you’ll reach when you send a message, but your message has been especially meaningful to at least one person.

Thanks.

Oopsie Daisy

(4,534 posts)
39. Thanks very much for sharing. I'm sorry you're going through this. You have my sincere sympathies.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:42 PM
Jul 2024

IbogaProject

(3,712 posts)
42. So sorry
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:45 PM
Jul 2024

I had a Korean friend say the say "he returned", rather than passed. And they have a happy party featuring things and people they loved. Not somber but like a going away party.

Ziggysmom

(3,618 posts)
45. Sending healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:54 PM
Jul 2024

Death isn’t fair, and no matter the person’s age, it always feels too soon.

JustAnotherGen

(33,733 posts)
46. I'm so very sorry
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 02:55 PM
Jul 2024

I lost my mom the first week of June - it was sudden. We are never really prepared.

My dad died in 2011 - and she was never really the same after that. So I really feel for you.

Laurelin

(646 posts)
47. Your husband sounds wonderful
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:01 PM
Jul 2024

So does your marriage. (And so do you; what a lovely tribute.) You were so lucky to have him but I'm sure that makes the goodbye even harder. I hope that love and light surround you and you find peace. Strength!

Ligyron

(7,904 posts)
50. You are fortunate beyond words.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:12 PM
Jul 2024

You had something a surprising number of us, myself included, never really had...an intense, lasting Love with a romantic partner. You somehow found each other in a world that can often be less than kind. That's miraculous!

I'm married now and we're both good for and to each other, have an amazing daughter but I lost my only real love 48 years ago and it was all my fault. I was bitter for a long time but then someone said to me those famous words: "Don't be sad it ended, be glad it ever happened in the first place."

That thought has helped a lot and it applies to far more than losing a love...>

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it

birdographer

(2,528 posts)
51. Of course my greatest sympathies
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:13 PM
Jul 2024

But you know what I also thought when reading your post? He is still with you. He's just in the other room. Your memories sound so happy and so love-filled. I would be surprised if you don't talk to him sometimes. You know what he would reply! Death does not totally break this kind of bond. I am so sorry he is not there to hold your hand, and I know you are grieving. But you were indeed a lucky boy and girl. ❤️❤️❤️

oldtime dfl_er

(6,993 posts)
53. Very sorry
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:16 PM
Jul 2024

Im so sorry for your loss, it sounds almost incalculable. You must have had a wonderful relationship. Take time to breathe.

calimary

(84,502 posts)
54. Sending you all the love and care and sympathy and support that I can muster.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:17 PM
Jul 2024

As I age, I find myself wondering how long it’ll be before I’m there myself.

Just please know how many people here and elsewhere, online and not, who are either right there to hug you, or able to let our words and posts do it here.

You are loved and admired and cared about here. And these words will ALWAYS be here, too.

livetohike

(23,020 posts)
55. My deepest sympathy on the loss of your husband.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:17 PM
Jul 2024

What wonderful memories you must have SleeplessinSoCal . May they comfort you and may the stories you’ll share always make you smile. Rest in peace .

PatSeg

(49,751 posts)
56. What a wonderful relationship you had
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:20 PM
Jul 2024

I am in awe of it. I cannot imagine loving someone that much for that long. What a great loss.

I'm glad you can find some safety and comfort here at DU. Your lovely words about your husband brought tears to my eyes.

lillypaddle

(9,605 posts)
58. No doubt
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:27 PM
Jul 2024

there is a gaping hole where once your darling darling filled the space with love. Now the good memories will be your cushion for awhile. My deepest sympathy for your incredible loss. Hang in there. Don't forget to take good care of yourself. You know he would want you to.

Jackie

brer cat

(26,405 posts)
62. I'm so sorry for your loss, Sleepless.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 03:50 PM
Jul 2024

May you beautiful memories bring you peace and comfort.

peacebuzzard

(5,282 posts)
66. so sorry, so very hard....❤️
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 04:21 PM
Jul 2024

so sorry for the loss of this great man hubby. He sounds like an angel....

Richluu

(99 posts)
69. I know...
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 04:44 PM
Jul 2024

...I lost my hubby 17 months ago. Time is the healer, and keep busy in service to others.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalms 30:5)

TBF

(34,576 posts)
72. Thank you for sharing him - what a wonderful tribute
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 04:57 PM
Jul 2024

and I'm very sorry for your tremendous loss

KatyaR

(3,534 posts)
73. I'm so very, very sorry.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 05:05 PM
Jul 2024

To have that kind of love and connection is so very rare and even more special. We are all sending you our love and best hugs.

highplainsdem

(52,649 posts)
75. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to your husband is tremendously moving.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 05:14 PM
Jul 2024

You were so fortunate to have all those years together, and I believe you'll be reunited. I'm not religious, but I've read of too many experiences and heard of too many friends' experiences (and had some of my own) not to believe in an afterlife and reunions with loved ones.

I found video of that 1983 performance of Alice In Wonderland that you mentioned, and want to post it here:

SleeplessinSoCal

(9,714 posts)
78. Thank you highplainsdem for sharing this.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 06:12 PM
Jul 2024

It's worth noting that Nathan Lane was Mouse. And it was so early in his career that he wasn't listed in the promo credits. We had so much fun following his career after this. We saw him be brilliant Off Broadway and On.

David was on Broadway in On Your Toes when also doing this production. Several of the dancers from OYT were in it.

Here's my Davey with Duke Ellingon's granddaughter...

highplainsdem

(52,649 posts)
86. What a great picture, and great memories! I'm so glad there's video of that performance.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 07:22 PM
Jul 2024

I looked at his page at the Internet Broadway Database. He was in a lot of Broadway musicals, including one of my favorites, Sweet Charity.

SleeplessinSoCal

(9,714 posts)
87. One of the On Your Toes dancers reached out and said...
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 07:41 PM
Jul 2024

"...And many Cheers for the man who invented the "Cigarette Strut" for the "Rich Man's Frug" .

highplainsdem

(52,649 posts)
93. That was an amazing scene - I'll post video from the film below. And I found a photo of David in that scene
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 08:53 PM
Jul 2024

in the Broadway production, on this web page:

https://www.talkinbroadway.com/page/rialto/past/2018/fosse.html


The film scene (for anyone not familiar with it):

highplainsdem

(52,649 posts)
108. You're very welcome! Thanks for posting the photo, larger than I saw it on that website, with your guy
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 08:12 PM
Jul 2024

(second from the left there) looking so handsome and talented. It's a great pic. Had you seen it before?

I imagine he's dancing in heaven, young and healthy again.

I found out today that my oldest relative, the last of her generation of the family, probably has less than 6 months to live. My heart is breaking at the thought of losing her here, and at the thought of how this is hurting her children and grandchildren (I've never seen grown children and grandchildren so close to a matriarch). But she has so many loved ones to reunite with, including beloved pets that I believe will come running when she crosses over. And I believe she will be healthy and young again then, free of pain for the first time in years.

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...

Fla Dem

(25,790 posts)
79. A wonderful tribute to your husband and your wonderful life together.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 06:19 PM
Jul 2024

I am so sorry his life with you has come to an end. But he will always be with you.

Keep him in your heart, but live life as best you can. I am sure he would want you to,

My condolences and warmest of thoughts.



NNadir

(34,755 posts)
80. I am very sorry for your loss. I have come to think of grief like this:
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 06:22 PM
Jul 2024
...But if in your fear you would seek only
love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover
your nakedness and pass out of love’s
threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears...


Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet, On Love"

The time comes when one is grateful for shedding all of one's tears, I think. While I feel and understand your pain, I am happy for you that you have known such love.

Deepest condolences.

MiKenMi33

(138 posts)
82. I'm so sorry.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 06:26 PM
Jul 2024

I’m so sorry to hear of your beloved husband passing. You were indeed a lucky boy and girl to share the kind of love you shared.

MontanaMama

(24,068 posts)
83. Oh my.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 07:00 PM
Jul 2024

I’m so sorry to hear this…which is, indeed, so so hard.

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband.

babylonsister

(171,659 posts)
84. How lucky you were/are to have
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 07:07 PM
Jul 2024

found your soulmate. Of course, I am so very sorry for your loss of your love.

MLAA

(18,654 posts)
89. I understand part of your journey very, very, well.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 08:14 PM
Jul 2024

My dear, dear 89 year old husband’s short term memory is gone and his mobility is highly compromised, but also like your wonderful husband, his loving personality and even humor remains the same. It must give you great comfort to know he was not fearful as his passing gently came to him.
What I can’t yet imagine is your grief, though it does sound like you may have enough of his ‘I love you’s’ to last the rest of your life.

My heart is with you, dear SleeplessinSoCal. Please DM me anytime you want a friendly ear.

💕💕💕💕💕💕

essaynnc

(870 posts)
90. Sleepless......
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 08:14 PM
Jul 2024

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad that hospice was such a positive thing for the both of you. I just visited a friend in hospice this afternoon. He was in and out, but his family and friends were all around, and he recognized us all !!!! Thank you hospice.

Stay strong, take time to grieve, keep remembering the good times that you had together. Do what you need to do, I hope you have others around that will help you out : ASK.

It will get better.

LudwigPastorius

(10,959 posts)
96. I am so sorry you have lost your love, Sleepless.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 10:38 PM
Jul 2024

May time and good memories eventually ease some of your pain.

littlemissmartypants

(25,717 posts)
97. Dear SleeplessinSoCal what a profound and poignant post.
Mon Jul 15, 2024, 10:42 PM
Jul 2024

Nothing prepares us for the loss of a loved one.

My heart breaks for the pain of grief that you are feeling. Stay in that bed as long as you need.

There can be no doubt that the connection you shared transcends space and time. Something was created by your love that will never leave you.

What a glorious gift.

Stay encouraged in your grief. We love you.





❤️

peasant one

(152 posts)
101. so sorry to hear
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 05:19 AM
Jul 2024

Sleepless,
Take care of yourself and remember him and this marvelous relationship. Good luck to you as you make this difficult transition.

Mad_Dem_X

(9,799 posts)
103. My heart breaks for you...I am so very sorry.
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 10:44 AM
Jul 2024

Alzheimer's is a cruel, terrible disease. I'm glad that he was able to keep his personality until the end. May he Rest in Peace.

dem in texas

(2,681 posts)
105. Missing my old boy
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 11:45 AM
Jul 2024

We were Married for 67 years - the last few years were really hard for me - he was blind and then developed dementia. I tried to take care of him on my own but could not. He was in a memory care facility when he passed in April. I miss him so much. I know that time will help me as try not to dwell on his passing and just remember all the good times..

I hope both you and me will reach a point where it all our memories are good memories for our 'old boys'.

benfranklin1776

(6,594 posts)
106. I'm so very very sorry for your tremendous loss. 😢
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 12:22 PM
Jul 2024

May he rest in radiant peace and joy which extends to you and may you be comforted by the tremendously wonderful feelings he stirred in you with your shared experiences

Sucha NastyWoman

(2,917 posts)
107. Reading this really touched my heart.
Tue Jul 16, 2024, 12:27 PM
Jul 2024

But I do hope you are able to find people other than us to share your beautiful heart with.

SleeplessinSoCal

(9,714 posts)
110. I have family. And friends.
Wed Jul 17, 2024, 10:44 AM
Jul 2024

Thanks for your concern. My nephews love him. They've written such beautiful, heartfelt notes to me.

My one day a week job is giving me time. And my closest friends, though many miles away, have reached out.

I've written here on DU about my sister's mental health struggles these past two years. Grateful and relieved that she is herself again. And she intends to move back into our place where she has all of her things.

But as I wake up each day since his passing, I have to remember to breathe. As much as I tried to prepare for this time, it is hard to go through. Grateful to DU for the space to reflect and share my grief.

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