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duncang

(3,591 posts)
Sat Aug 31, 2024, 11:13 PM Aug 31

I know I'm not ready

Awhile back as I was shopping there was a woman who turned up on all the aisles I was at. That could be coincidence but each time I saw her she was already looking and smiling at me. It happened about 7-8 times. Even when I was loading groceries in the back of my car. She had a beautiful smile and lit up face. I kind of wanted to say something. But just left. It’s been a year and 3 months since my wife passed away. I’m still a mess and confused. Now I’m wondering if I should have said something. I have no idea if I will ever take that step.

11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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FarPoint

(13,617 posts)
1. You didn't have to say anything....
Sat Aug 31, 2024, 11:17 PM
Aug 31

She knew you got the message... She want's you to know she is always with you....it's all good.

multigraincracker

(34,068 posts)
4. You might, just go slow. Nothing wrong with that.
Sat Aug 31, 2024, 11:43 PM
Aug 31

When ready you could introduce yourself and just ask her to meet for coffee. Then you could rxplain that you are still are missing you wife, but open to friendships. Then just look for things you have income.
Bet you might find a good friend without getting ahead of yourself.

Lonestarblue

(11,807 posts)
7. A friend who lost his wife over two years ago is just now able to think about the future and changes.
Sun Sep 1, 2024, 05:50 AM
Sep 1

You’ll know when you’re ready. There is no rush.

maptap22

(147 posts)
8. I am very sorry for your loss.
Sun Sep 1, 2024, 05:56 AM
Sep 1

It has been 6 years since my husband died. Took a good 4 years for me to start feeling somewhat "normal" again. I was super angry for a long time. We were married for 32 years and 1 day. He was my best friend, we did everything together. It was so difficult (and still is) to live my life without my person by my side. Even now after all this time, I still want to talk to him about my day, politics, our pets...everything. My advice - take your time because time is the only thing that helps.

Again, my condolences. Losing a spouse is brutal.

Marthe48

(18,985 posts)
9. I lost my husband 7 1/2 years ago
Sun Sep 1, 2024, 08:07 PM
Sep 1

The veneer of feeling normal gets a little thicker as time passes. I have some pictures of my husband where I can see them, and I talk to him.
I don't mind talking to men when I'm out, but it's just chitchat, and keeps me sociable.

electric_blue68

(17,977 posts)
11. {hug} While not the same...
Mon Sep 30, 2024, 01:28 AM
Sep 30

Sorry for your loss.

My Mom got very sick w asthma when was about 5 1/2. A very vital woman reduced to fighting for breath often hour, after hour etc.

Eventually she improved, and even got waaaay better about ?11 yrs later.

Anyway, when she got to her early '80's I started thinking how much longer did she have. She wasn't my best friend, but a quite a remarkable person in many ways. Loved her so much. I started thinking to myself;
she wouldn't want me to be too sad for too long.

Now, I was going grieve; however I think repeating this to myself for several years did help me. While devastating when it happened bc it had a sort of freak medical aspect - I think it took the sharpest edge off.

Your dear love would want you and it's a gentle step by step process to have happiness in your life.

Marthe48

(18,985 posts)
10. It is very soon
Sun Sep 1, 2024, 08:12 PM
Sep 1

You lost your wife in a traumatic way and way too soon. One of these days you'll return a smile, enjoy a bit of conversation. How soon is up to you. How far any chance meeting will go is also up to you. Don't feel bad if you aren't ready or don't want something more.

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