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Marthe48

(19,199 posts)
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:00 AM Oct 1

UPDATE: My best friend passed away at 4 a.m.

Last edited Fri Oct 4, 2024, 03:26 PM - Edit history (1)

We have been friends for 67 years. She lived with chronic health problems her whole life. In spite of challenges that would have sidelined or floored anyone else, she persisted. She prevailed. She got a degree in Edu. She got a Masters in Psychology. She saved abused children, saved suicidal youngsters. She coached h.s. and community soccer teams. She was an artist. She was a superb photographer. She loved animals and lived her whole life with special pets. She went to hospice Sat. I loved her like a sister.

UPDATE 10/04/24: I got home today after staying at my friend's house since last Friday. On Monday, I took her kitty, who is about 18, to the vet to get her updated vacs, bloodwork and so on. I saw my friend for the last time that evening. She was sleeping away, but I told her the kitty had a good checkup, and all was well. When I came home today, I brought the kitty with me. We will keep each other company now. This is the same kitty I wrote about in the Pets Forum, who wakes me all night. I'm wondering if she'll change her schedule to mine, actually hoping she will. She did well on the ride down from Cleveland, 2 1/2 hours. I got her in the house and uncrated. I got her litter box set up, her food and water dishes filled and set out. She has been getting oriented ever since we got here, tail up. She is sleeping on one of my friend's teeshirts now.

Thank you all for the loving support. It has been tough, and we are all in disbelief that my friend is gone. I'm tired from all of the travelling. Being tired softens the emotions and maybe when I am rested up, I won't feel as sad.

78 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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UPDATE: My best friend passed away at 4 a.m. (Original Post) Marthe48 Oct 1 OP
I'm so sorry XanaDUer2 Oct 1 #1
My sincere condolences. Dennis Donovan Oct 1 #2
I'm very sorry... onecaliberal Oct 1 #3
I am sorry--for your loss and that I never met such a special person... hlthe2b Oct 1 #4
Oh, I'm so sorry FirstLight Oct 1 #5
Thank you for telling us about her. mahina Oct 1 #6
Deepest sympathy. 50 Shades Of Blue Oct 1 #7
I'm so very sorry DarthDem Oct 1 #8
Please accept my sincerest condolences, Marthe48. Diamond_Dog Oct 1 #9
I'm so very sorry cate94 Oct 1 #10
She sounds like an incredible woman and human being! Tadpole Raisin Oct 1 #11
Marthe, I am so so sorry. irisblue Oct 1 #12
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it is to lose a best friend. lark Oct 1 #13
My deepest condolences. chowder66 Oct 1 #14
I am so sorry for the loss of your amazing friend. pandr32 Oct 1 #15
Condolences Picaro Oct 1 #16
My heart goes out to you. Collimator Oct 1 #17
I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. May every livetohike Oct 1 #18
Sincerest condolences, Marthe48. ancianita Oct 1 #19
So sorry for your loss Marthe48. Her spirit remains alive with you. Peace. c-rational Oct 1 #20
I'm so sorry. LisaM Oct 1 #21
I am sorry about that, Marthe48. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Oct 1 #22
My heart is with you. Hope22 Oct 1 #23
My heartfelt condolences to you, Marthe48. virgdem Oct 1 #24
RIP to your friend. Elessar Zappa Oct 1 #25
I'm so sorry you friend has passed sdfernando Oct 1 #26
So sorry angrychair Oct 1 #27
I am so very sorry. Your friend sounds like a really, really special person. May her spirit live into eternity. LoisB Oct 1 #28
A lot us moving on over to the other side. I am sorry to hear of your loss. She seems like a golden friend. marble falls Oct 1 #29
One of her other long time friends and I Marthe48 Oct 1 #30
Very seldom we have loss where there is not some gain. marble falls Oct 1 #34
I am so sorry KT2000 Oct 1 #31
My sincerest condolences, Martha. rockbluff botanist Oct 1 #32
Peace world wide wally Oct 1 #33
So very sorry for your loss IbogaProject Oct 1 #35
Sad to hear your best friend passed away V850i Oct 1 #36
Holding you in my heart.... a painful loss. n/t TygrBright Oct 1 #37
Your friendship was a special gift to you both. ❤️ MLAA Oct 1 #38
I am very sorry you will miss that life well lived. n/t. NNadir Oct 1 #39
So sorry, Marthe48. 70sEraVet Oct 1 #40
How very, very sad people Oct 1 #41
So sorry, Marthe48. Deep condolences to you and all of her loved ones. littlemissmartypants Oct 1 #42
Sending all sympathy Lulu KC Oct 1 #43
Rest in power, brave soul. I m so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend. niyad Oct 1 #44
She sounds like a wonderful person. I'm so sorry for your loss. Mad_Dem_X Oct 1 #45
Long-time friends become family and loved just as much. I'm so sorry for your loss. Lonestarblue Oct 1 #46
My condolences. May she Rest in Peace and May her Memory be a Blessing. 🙏 iluvtennis Oct 1 #47
Sincere condolences, Marthe48 gademocrat7 Oct 1 #48
I am so sorry, Marthe48, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. HeartsCanHope Oct 1 #49
Sorry for your loss DemonGoddess Oct 1 #50
Life is hard sometimes, BlueTexasMan Oct 1 #51
I'm so sorry for your loss wendyb-NC Oct 1 #52
My deepest condolences on your loss Marthe48 Docreed2003 Oct 1 #53
🥲 claudette Oct 1 #54
Im so sorry BigMin28 Oct 1 #55
So sorry for your loss. Sounds like an amazing person. Take care Marthe48. Evolve Dammit Oct 1 #56
I'm sorry for your loss of your best friend Clouds Passing Oct 1 #57
I am so very sorry for your loss Ruby the Liberal Oct 1 #58
Deepest condolences. sinkingfeeling Oct 1 #59
Deepest condolences, Marthe. SheltieLover Oct 1 #60
this is a very lovely tribute to her Skittles Oct 1 #61
Saddened for you. cachukis Oct 1 #62
So sorry for your loss. Saoirse9 Oct 1 #63
That is an impressively long friendship. TNNurse Oct 1 #64
I am so sorry, Marthe UpInArms Oct 1 #65
I am so sorry for your loss. Iris Oct 1 #66
She's at peace babylonsister Oct 1 #67
I'm so sorry for your loss. mountain grammy Oct 1 #68
I'm so sorry. area51 Oct 1 #69
Friends for 67 years. That's such a remarkable statement! calimary Oct 1 #70
We had our moments Marthe48 Oct 1 #73
Mine passed years ago tavernier Oct 1 #71
So sirry Figarosmom Oct 1 #72
I'm so sorry for your loss. barbtries Oct 1 #74
Oh my word. MontanaMama Oct 1 #75
She will be remembered for her good deeds and a kind heart Bayard Oct 1 #76
"" AllaN01Bear Oct 1 #77
Sorry for loss. She seemed like a very special person. OverBurn Oct 2 #78

FirstLight

(14,275 posts)
5. Oh, I'm so sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:06 AM
Oct 1

This could have been me and my bestie...we've known eachother since we were 12.

There's nothng I can say except thank you for sharing about her>>> and if you need to continue talking about her, feel free to post more

mahina

(18,988 posts)
6. Thank you for telling us about her.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:09 AM
Oct 1

hoping for comfort for your heart. Your love lights her path home. Aloha e Marthe48.

DarthDem

(5,368 posts)
8. I'm so very sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:11 AM
Oct 1

She sounds like a wonderful person, who lives on in your memory. May she cross gently.

Diamond_Dog

(35,002 posts)
9. Please accept my sincerest condolences, Marthe48.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:13 AM
Oct 1

She sounds like a wonderful person and was lucky to have you as her best friend. May she rest in peace.

Tadpole Raisin

(1,561 posts)
11. She sounds like an incredible woman and human being!
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:19 AM
Oct 1

What a privilege that you two were lifelong friends and you can tell us about her. We should all be so lucky.

A life well lived! My condolences.

lark

(24,289 posts)
13. I'm so sorry for your loss, I know what it is to lose a best friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:24 AM
Oct 1

I lost my best friend of 50 years last year. I loved her so much! She lived in CA and I live in FL, but we still talked 3-5 hours per week, minimum. Days with a bunch of tcf shit, we'd talk for hours! She had a troubled son with mental issues, just like I do. We so got each other and relied on each other for solace when no one else understood what we were going through. She was a light in my life and it hurts so much to have it extinguished! I miss her so badly! At first, I was all caught up in her death and how the stupid doctors killed her and it was preventable. Her family didn't want to pursue the case, so I let it be. Now, I mainly miss sharing things with her, thinking about how we'd laugh at JD and tcf and call them weird! It's not easy getting old and dealing with loss.

Picaro

(1,834 posts)
16. Condolences
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:29 AM
Oct 1

She sounds like she was a wonderful person. She left a positive impact on life and the people that knew and loved her.

Collimator

(1,875 posts)
17. My heart goes out to you.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:29 AM
Oct 1

My best friend is, when needed, my sister, my mother or my friend. She lives in a time zone six hours ahead, so I often call her at 4 am.

I couldn't imagine not having her as a sounding board, so your grief is very real to me, Marthe. May something of her live on in you, rather than a part of you dying with her. You KNOW that is what she would want.

All comfort to you in this time of loss.

livetohike

(23,020 posts)
18. I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend. May every
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:33 AM
Oct 1

good memory of your times together comfort you and make you smile. The world lost a special person .

LisaM

(28,690 posts)
21. I'm so sorry.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:38 AM
Oct 1

I just went through a similar loss, though we had not been friends as long. Now I do the thing where I look for "signs" from her, and there have been plenty.

I hope that you see things every day that remind you of her and if your friendship. It will help keep it alive for you, I hope.

Hope22

(3,042 posts)
23. My heart is with you.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:41 AM
Oct 1

She sounds like an amazing soul. The sisters that we choose live in our hearts forever. Love and more love to you. 💗💗💗🙏🏼💐

virgdem

(2,208 posts)
24. My heartfelt condolences to you, Marthe48.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:48 AM
Oct 1

The loss of such a special friend Is so difficult. Your friend persevered in the face of multiple challenges. She was a good friend to you and will be missed.💔

sdfernando

(5,399 posts)
26. I'm so sorry you friend has passed
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:48 AM
Oct 1

She sounds like such a wonderful and caring person that enriched the lives of so many people, including you.

angrychair

(9,816 posts)
27. So sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:54 AM
Oct 1

I hope her memory lives in your heart and those that lived her forever.

Peace be with you.

LoisB

(8,875 posts)
28. I am so very sorry. Your friend sounds like a really, really special person. May her spirit live into eternity.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:55 AM
Oct 1

marble falls

(62,403 posts)
29. A lot us moving on over to the other side. I am sorry to hear of your loss. She seems like a golden friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 11:55 AM
Oct 1

Marthe48

(19,199 posts)
30. One of her other long time friends and I
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:00 PM
Oct 1

want to stay in touch and see what else we have in common beside our wonderful friend

rockbluff botanist

(360 posts)
32. My sincerest condolences, Martha.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:05 PM
Oct 1

"Don’t Cry Because It’s Over; Smile Because It Happened."

This is a quote from Dr. Seuss that I hold close to my heart, dear Martha48. It has helped me often.

IbogaProject

(3,712 posts)
35. So very sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:15 PM
Oct 1

Offering my condolences to you. Loosing a good friend is tough, loosing a best friend is similar to loosing a partner or a close family member.

V850i

(69 posts)
36. Sad to hear your best friend passed away
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:22 PM
Oct 1

I truly believe we are never gone, time has no meaning and you are still together now and always. I had a near death experience several years ago and see us almost like a root on a plant. Our experiences feed the plant but we are down in the dirt and don’t see our whole self or the sky and sun above us. Take care and just try to enjoy the memories.

MLAA

(18,654 posts)
38. Your friendship was a special gift to you both. ❤️
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 12:40 PM
Oct 1

What an incredible, rare person. She contributes so much to others during her lifetime. She is an example to us all to give more of our time and abilities, whatever they may be, to others. A true inspiration.

people

(705 posts)
41. How very, very sad
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:01 PM
Oct 1

She sounds like a wonderful person. You have both been so lucky to have one another for best friends. I will be thinking about you . . .

littlemissmartypants

(25,717 posts)
42. So sorry, Marthe48. Deep condolences to you and all of her loved ones.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:35 PM
Oct 1

I hope you find comfort in the memories she left behind.


❤️

Lulu KC

(4,710 posts)
43. Sending all sympathy
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:39 PM
Oct 1

Grief is sometimes like swimming through mud. You were a wonderful friend. She will rest in peace and in power.

niyad

(120,410 posts)
44. Rest in power, brave soul. I m so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:40 PM
Oct 1

The line "There's a hole in the world tonight" from (I think) the Eagles, is in my head. Please know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need.

Lonestarblue

(11,932 posts)
46. Long-time friends become family and loved just as much. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 01:47 PM
Oct 1

May your lifetime of memories bring you peace.

gademocrat7

(11,195 posts)
48. Sincere condolences, Marthe48
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 02:08 PM
Oct 1

on the loss of your dear friend. May she Rest in Peace. Sending you hugs of support and love.

HeartsCanHope

(747 posts)
49. I am so sorry, Marthe48, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:06 PM
Oct 1

I will be thinking of you, her family, and her other friends as you grieve. Take care.

BlueTexasMan

(179 posts)
51. Life is hard sometimes,
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:40 PM
Oct 1

but you shared joy with her and love. Sometimes life is beautiful also. Peace be with you.

wendyb-NC

(3,856 posts)
52. I'm so sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 04:49 PM
Oct 1

She sounds like an amazing person. I know you will never forget her. It is hard to loose someone you've known, just about all your life. She was family, maybe closer than family. My heart goes out to you. Peace.

BigMin28

(1,478 posts)
55. Im so sorry
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 05:07 PM
Oct 1

The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal"

May her memory bring you comfort.

Ruby the Liberal

(26,322 posts)
58. I am so very sorry for your loss
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 05:42 PM
Oct 1

Thank you for sharing her amazing life experience with us. May her memory be a blessing.

TNNurse

(7,148 posts)
64. That is an impressively long friendship.
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 07:22 PM
Oct 1

I will be thinking of you, because you will need time to grieve. You have lost a family member.

babylonsister

(171,659 posts)
67. She's at peace
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 07:47 PM
Oct 1

but I feel your pain. I lost my twin at 67. I still think it's not fair selfishly.

calimary

(84,502 posts)
70. Friends for 67 years. That's such a remarkable statement!
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 09:39 PM
Oct 1

I wish everybody had a long-running friendship like that.

I can only imagine how much you miss your friend. You can talk about it here and gain the wisdom and sympathy that is so easy to find. Talk about it. Share how you feel. Every one of us can relate. And it WILL help you get through it.

I like to quote DU’s own Skittles, who said “someone’s always here.” Keeping that in mind has been very helpful to me during some difficult times (including at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning). We’re here. Across the time zones. Someone IS INDEED always here. And here when you just need somebody to talk to.


Marthe48

(19,199 posts)
73. We had our moments
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 10:01 PM
Oct 1

We'd have a fight, over who knows what, and swear we'd never speak to each again. Her mom, or my mom or her little sister would referee and get us to make up. We laughed about those times often.

tavernier

(13,273 posts)
71. Mine passed years ago
Tue Oct 1, 2024, 09:42 PM
Oct 1

And I still talk to her about fun stuff and important stuff and silly stuff. Stuff I can’t share with anyone else.

So sorry.

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