Bereavement
Related: About this forumUPDATE: My best friend passed away at 4 a.m.
Last edited Fri Oct 4, 2024, 03:26 PM - Edit history (1)
We have been friends for 67 years. She lived with chronic health problems her whole life. In spite of challenges that would have sidelined or floored anyone else, she persisted. She prevailed. She got a degree in Edu. She got a Masters in Psychology. She saved abused children, saved suicidal youngsters. She coached h.s. and community soccer teams. She was an artist. She was a superb photographer. She loved animals and lived her whole life with special pets. She went to hospice Sat. I loved her like a sister.
UPDATE 10/04/24: I got home today after staying at my friend's house since last Friday. On Monday, I took her kitty, who is about 18, to the vet to get her updated vacs, bloodwork and so on. I saw my friend for the last time that evening. She was sleeping away, but I told her the kitty had a good checkup, and all was well. When I came home today, I brought the kitty with me. We will keep each other company now. This is the same kitty I wrote about in the Pets Forum, who wakes me all night. I'm wondering if she'll change her schedule to mine, actually hoping she will. She did well on the ride down from Cleveland, 2 1/2 hours. I got her in the house and uncrated. I got her litter box set up, her food and water dishes filled and set out. She has been getting oriented ever since we got here, tail up. She is sleeping on one of my friend's teeshirts now.
Thank you all for the loving support. It has been tough, and we are all in disbelief that my friend is gone. I'm tired from all of the travelling. Being tired softens the emotions and maybe when I am rested up, I won't feel as sad.
XanaDUer2
(14,346 posts)RIP
Dennis Donovan
(26,846 posts)May she cross gently.
onecaliberal
(36,209 posts)hlthe2b
(106,574 posts)FirstLight
(14,275 posts)This could have been me and my bestie...we've known eachother since we were 12.
There's nothng I can say except thank you for sharing about her>>> and if you need to continue talking about her, feel free to post more
mahina
(18,988 posts)hoping for comfort for your heart. Your love lights her path home. Aloha e Marthe48.
50 Shades Of Blue
(10,899 posts)DarthDem
(5,368 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person, who lives on in your memory. May she cross gently.
Diamond_Dog
(35,002 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person and was lucky to have you as her best friend. May she rest in peace.
cate94
(2,892 posts)Tadpole Raisin
(1,561 posts)What a privilege that you two were lifelong friends and you can tell us about her. We should all be so lucky.
A life well lived! My condolences.
irisblue
(34,379 posts)I grieve with you in losing your friend
lark
(24,289 posts)I lost my best friend of 50 years last year. I loved her so much! She lived in CA and I live in FL, but we still talked 3-5 hours per week, minimum. Days with a bunch of tcf shit, we'd talk for hours! She had a troubled son with mental issues, just like I do. We so got each other and relied on each other for solace when no one else understood what we were going through. She was a light in my life and it hurts so much to have it extinguished! I miss her so badly! At first, I was all caught up in her death and how the stupid doctors killed her and it was preventable. Her family didn't want to pursue the case, so I let it be. Now, I mainly miss sharing things with her, thinking about how we'd laugh at JD and tcf and call them weird! It's not easy getting old and dealing with loss.
chowder66
(9,860 posts)pandr32
(12,238 posts)Picaro
(1,834 posts)She sounds like she was a wonderful person. She left a positive impact on life and the people that knew and loved her.
Collimator
(1,875 posts)My best friend is, when needed, my sister, my mother or my friend. She lives in a time zone six hours ahead, so I often call her at 4 am.
I couldn't imagine not having her as a sounding board, so your grief is very real to me, Marthe. May something of her live on in you, rather than a part of you dying with her. You KNOW that is what she would want.
All comfort to you in this time of loss.
livetohike
(23,020 posts)good memory of your times together comfort you and make you smile. The world lost a special person .
ancianita
(38,786 posts)May your heart heal and you find peace in the time ahead.
c-rational
(2,876 posts)LisaM
(28,690 posts)I just went through a similar loss, though we had not been friends as long. Now I do the thing where I look for "signs" from her, and there have been plenty.
I hope that you see things every day that remind you of her and if your friendship. It will help keep it alive for you, I hope.
OldBaldy1701E
(6,485 posts)Hope22
(3,042 posts)She sounds like an amazing soul. The sisters that we choose live in our hearts forever. Love and more love to you. 💗💗💗🙏🏼💐
virgdem
(2,208 posts)The loss of such a special friend Is so difficult. Your friend persevered in the face of multiple challenges. She was a good friend to you and will be missed.💔
Elessar Zappa
(16,042 posts)sdfernando
(5,399 posts)She sounds like such a wonderful and caring person that enriched the lives of so many people, including you.
angrychair
(9,816 posts)I hope her memory lives in your heart and those that lived her forever.
Peace be with you.
LoisB
(8,875 posts)marble falls
(62,403 posts)Marthe48
(19,199 posts)want to stay in touch and see what else we have in common beside our wonderful friend
marble falls
(62,403 posts)KT2000
(20,909 posts)you lost your friend.
rockbluff botanist
(360 posts)"Dont Cry Because Its Over; Smile Because It Happened."
This is a quote from Dr. Seuss that I hold close to my heart, dear Martha48. It has helped me often.
world wide wally
(21,835 posts)IbogaProject
(3,712 posts)Offering my condolences to you. Loosing a good friend is tough, loosing a best friend is similar to loosing a partner or a close family member.
V850i
(69 posts)I truly believe we are never gone, time has no meaning and you are still together now and always. I had a near death experience several years ago and see us almost like a root on a plant. Our experiences feed the plant but we are down in the dirt and dont see our whole self or the sky and sun above us. Take care and just try to enjoy the memories.
TygrBright
(20,987 posts)MLAA
(18,654 posts)What an incredible, rare person. She contributes so much to others during her lifetime. She is an example to us all to give more of our time and abilities, whatever they may be, to others. A true inspiration.
NNadir
(34,755 posts)70sEraVet
(4,198 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person who lived a life well-spent.
people
(705 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person. You have both been so lucky to have one another for best friends. I will be thinking about you . . .
littlemissmartypants
(25,717 posts)I hope you find comfort in the memories she left behind.
❤️
Lulu KC
(4,710 posts)Grief is sometimes like swimming through mud. You were a wonderful friend. She will rest in peace and in power.
niyad
(120,410 posts)The line "There's a hole in the world tonight" from (I think) the Eagles, is in my head. Please know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need.
Mad_Dem_X
(9,799 posts)May she rest in peace.
Lonestarblue
(11,932 posts)May your lifetime of memories bring you peace.
iluvtennis
(20,917 posts)gademocrat7
(11,195 posts)on the loss of your dear friend. May she Rest in Peace. Sending you hugs of support and love.
HeartsCanHope
(747 posts)I will be thinking of you, her family, and her other friends as you grieve. Take care.
DemonGoddess
(5,125 posts)BlueTexasMan
(179 posts)but you shared joy with her and love. Sometimes life is beautiful also. Peace be with you.
wendyb-NC
(3,856 posts)She sounds like an amazing person. I know you will never forget her. It is hard to loose someone you've known, just about all your life. She was family, maybe closer than family. My heart goes out to you. Peace.
Docreed2003
(17,852 posts)BigMin28
(1,478 posts)The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal"
May her memory bring you comfort.
Evolve Dammit
(18,965 posts)Clouds Passing
(2,555 posts)Ruby the Liberal
(26,322 posts)Thank you for sharing her amazing life experience with us. May her memory be a blessing.
sinkingfeeling
(53,138 posts)SheltieLover
(59,825 posts)May she rest in peace.
Skittles
(159,968 posts)yes indeed
cachukis
(2,722 posts)Saoirse9
(3,820 posts)TNNurse
(7,148 posts)I will be thinking of you, because you will need time to grieve. You have lost a family member.
UpInArms
(51,852 posts)Iris
(16,127 posts)What a wonderful woman your friend was.
babylonsister
(171,659 posts)but I feel your pain. I lost my twin at 67. I still think it's not fair selfishly.
mountain grammy
(27,343 posts)area51
(12,169 posts)calimary
(84,502 posts)I wish everybody had a long-running friendship like that.
I can only imagine how much you miss your friend. You can talk about it here and gain the wisdom and sympathy that is so easy to find. Talk about it. Share how you feel. Every one of us can relate. And it WILL help you get through it.
I like to quote DUs own Skittles, who said someones always here. Keeping that in mind has been very helpful to me during some difficult times (including at 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning). Were here. Across the time zones. Someone IS INDEED always here. And here when you just need somebody to talk to.
Marthe48
(19,199 posts)We'd have a fight, over who knows what, and swear we'd never speak to each again. Her mom, or my mom or her little sister would referee and get us to make up. We laughed about those times often.
tavernier
(13,273 posts)And I still talk to her about fun stuff and important stuff and silly stuff. Stuff I cant share with anyone else.
So sorry.
Figarosmom
(3,077 posts)She sounds like a gem in a world of stones.
barbtries
(29,915 posts)MontanaMama
(24,068 posts)She sounds like one of a kind. Im so so sorry for your loss.
Bayard
(24,145 posts)My condolences, Marthe48.