Loners
Related: About this forumDo You Have The Spirit Of A True Loner. 10 Signs You Were Born To Be A Loner.
I think I was born a loner. I was an only child, but I grew up in a neighborhood full of kids. I enjoyed playing with them, but most of all, I remember the feeling of relief I had at the end of the day. Going home, I was really looking forward to being in my own room and just that feeling of peace and quiet. I remember feeling sorry for the kids who had to share a room. It stressed me out just thinking about it, lol. Yep, I've been this way my whole life, and I can't ever remember feeling "lonely." I do enjoy going out and being with the few friends I value, but I'm just as happy at home. I was training for Covid quarantining my whole life, I guess. It really didn't bother me a bit.
rubbersole
(8,419 posts)Thanks, catbyte. I can relate to most of the examples but don't think that I'm a loner. If the missus would just take off with George Clooney like I know she wants to...
Skittles
(158,502 posts)and I have always felt sorry for people who cannot stand their own company
mitch96
(14,607 posts)My parents were loners and I basically grew up a latch key kid entertaining myself... I think I've read the encyclopedia a few times and knew Howdy Doody real well.. all good.
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NullTuples
(6,017 posts)I'd been online for a decade-plus by that time, but when smartphones and broadband became more common in the mid-00's or so, more people were online. And that's when I realized not only were there other people like me, there were a LOT of other people like me! So many that we started comparing notes. And after a while we collectively, as a community, decided...there was nothing actually wrong with us. Despite what we'd been told since childhood by parents, relatives, teachers and doctors. Oh, and advertisers. And that overflowed into offline life, too. Now that I know that I'm an introvert (as well as a few flavors of neurodiverse), I know who to look for for comfortable socializing offline, and where/how to look for them. And, I've learned how to identify extroverts and neurotypicals.
The Pandemic though...that taught me that neurotypical extroverts hurt as much when they're alone for too long as I do after being forced to socialize for hours. When the semi-shutdowns went into effect, I felt a tremendous load be removed from my shoulders. It was seriously like opening my eyes for the first time in my life. This was the life that fit me, and I'd never been allowed to experience it before. My sibling on the other hand never actually isolated much and when she inevitably tested positive and had to quarantine for two weeks, I learned just how...painful it was for her to not have near constant contact and interaction with other people, in person.
littlemissmartypants
(25,172 posts)Welcome to the Loners Group!
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1237&pid=526
NullTuples
(6,017 posts)I've consistently tested as INTP/INTJ since I was in college and was first exposed to the test. That sorta fits I guess, being an autistic *and* ADHD?
KS Toronado
(19,473 posts)is the only one I could identify with, anyone here want to go out for a beer and attack/educate reQugs,
you know Live-A-Little?
littlemissmartypants
(25,172 posts)Have you taken the test?
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1237&pid=526
❤️
KS Toronado
(19,473 posts)My dad put me to work after school every day from the 6th grade onward in his service station dealing
with everybody older than me of course. Just naturally get along with everybody but I don't mind
being alone to read a book or watch TCM.
When it warms up here I plan on spending a lot of time by myself, got about $2,000 in new parts for my old
Bronco that sits in the back garage and I'd like to drive it again.
littlemissmartypants
(25,172 posts)KS Toronado
(19,473 posts)littlemissmartypants
(25,172 posts)KS Toronado
(19,473 posts)when I'm by myself in it, every once in awhile it says "How about you east bound red Bronco,
got your ears on" Still trying to figure out how it does that.
littlemissmartypants
(25,172 posts)But I only scored 60% on this one. Maybe it's because I'm an INFJ which makes me an extroverted introvert. As the saying goes "it's complicated."
Have you taken the test?
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1237&pid=526
Thanks again! ❤️
catbyte
(35,686 posts)at the university I worked at. The results were always the same: INTP and it describes me very well. I was surprised to read this in an article about the INTP personality type:
According to psychologist David Keirsey, creator of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, approximately 1% to 5% of people have an INTP personality type.
https://www.verywellmind.com/intp-introverted-intuitive-thinking-perceiving-2795989
I would've thought there were more folks like me, but I guess not, lol.
Response to littlemissmartypants (Reply #6)
catbyte This message was self-deleted by its author.
catbyte
(35,686 posts)I took the test and here are the results:
INTP
Introvert(91%) iNtuitive(41%) Thinking(10%) Perceiving(3%)
You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (91%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (41%)
You have slight preference of Thinking over Feeling (10%)
You have marginal or no preference of Perceiving over Judging (3%)
Thanks!
Joinfortmill
(16,353 posts)soldierant
(7,819 posts)I'm an INTJ. Before I was in treament for depression, I would turn into an INSJ if I was having a bout of it. (INSJs include Eeyore.) But that hasn't happened for many years - so many years I hd to look up the abbreviations to remember which one changed.
SergeStorms
(19,312 posts)With the exception of not mixing in well with others when I must be in social gatherings. People seem drawn to me, most always seeking me out in social situations. Maybe that's why I prefer to be by myself. People always want something, whether it's only to hang out or go places and do things.
I prefer traveling alone, and if a situation arises where it would be advantageous to have someone else along with me, there always seems to be someone willing to accompany me.
Maybe that sounds selfish and egocentric, but it's my life and I really am my own best friend. I may be alone, but that's by choice and I'm never lonely. 😊
joshdawg
(2,709 posts)Introvert-100%.
snowybirdie
(5,592 posts)I realized what a blessing my loner tendencies were. Isolation was easy. Only child who married another only child. We understood each other just fine.
mamacita75
(112 posts)is my experience from the onslaught of people who are not authentic. I need those who are real and have depth. I never learned how to play games and thus never fit it in. My spouse is the youngest of his family as I am, and both our folks were ten years older than people our age. We have that in common plus living through the same era. He has become a hermit and I enjoy being alone, but I need people and I must do that on my own for we have no friends that would be there if something happened to either of us. We are both in the upper half of our 60s and I definitely need likeminded people to cope with what is ahead, but I lack the courage to reach out and try to find others that experience what I do. Thus, I try to make it on my own emotionally. He is not openly emotional and is trying to learn how to live with a spouse who has had undue loss and trauma (actually on both side of our sides that has built upon the years with no time for healing...the death and losses had come to fast and in numbers of 8 at once a few times. Grief compounds on grief and I struggle to keep my head above water as the sadness of struggles of grieving has been smothering to me for 2 decades without healing from one death to the next. It is overwhelming and has led me into my 'aloneness' which is the only way I am able to survive at present. I have lost my MH provider and am seeking out another but at 65 it is harder to do as I age. I really would like someone who is of my era to help me process all this loss. I am at a period of waiting for responses of my outreach for help and seem to be hanging on for dear life until finding a therapist who I am able to relate to and is from the era I grew up in at least for that commonality to relate to my present circumstances. My therapist came down with her own health crisis and has had to focus on her own health. It was a 3- and 1/2-year relationship and now she is gone. Whether she returns to practice or retires I have no idea at this time. The search for another MH provider is a foreboding endeavor that I must pursue to find a stability in my life. The few friends I have are not local and are busy and have their own lives. I was taught to not impose myself on others when I am in need of help, so I keep things to myself.
doc03
(36,570 posts)I don't have to follow any schedule I can do or not do whatever I want. I have gone on some group tours and it never fails some
SOB finds it their business to make me uncomfortable about being alone. I eat out for lunch every day but can only tolerate being
around other people for a short time. If someone stops to visit it doesn't take long for me to wish they were gone. I have no really what
you would call close friends, I shut people out before that happens. I enjoy going bike riding but I hate the socializing before and after
and the damn group photo op.
Joinfortmill
(16,353 posts)prodigitalson
(2,830 posts)And I really do love talking to my few close friends and immediate family members regularly. I work from home online as an ESL teacher so I talk to dozens of interesting people every week. I went to Greece all by myself this year and it was so awesome traveling alone. But yeah, alone with a good book or a binge worthy Netflix series or walking my dog is when I am happiest.