Advice needed

[Rorey]

My best friend just called me from another state. Her brother is having a mental health crisis, and she doesn't know what to do. He lives in Florida, but has apparently traveled to Louisiana where he is in a hotel with his dog.

I'm going to probably mess this up, so I'll just apologize at the outset. He's 69 years old and is a diabetic. As far as she knows, he did not have any issues up until a couple of years ago when he fell in a store and struck his head.

So he's having delusions where he's seeing bugs, and has been saying some outlandish things. What I've done so far is to send her a link to NAMI. I also suggested that she call her brother's partner to see if he can at least give my friend her brother's doctor's name so she can try to get in touch with him. Her brother's partner is apparently a drunken bully, so the home situation was not good, which hasn't helped anything.

I see on NAMI that she could call the police in Louisiana and ask them to do a welfare check and hopefully take him to a hospital, but of course with COVID-19, who knows what might happen. I'm sorry to say that I don't have a lot of confidence that the police would be helpful, so I don't want to tell her to actually call them, but figured I'd let her read what it says on the site and make her decision.

Does anyone have any advice or insight on this? I appreciate any help.

[cayugafalls]

1. It sounds like he is not controlling his diabetes and has slipped into delirium.

He needs a doctor as soon as possible, in my opinion.

[Rorey]

2. I was thinking that too

In my own, very non-expert, opinion, this is physiological. If it was me, and if we weren't in this virus hell situation, I'd drive there and take him to a hospital.

[Rorey]

3. And thank you. NT

[cayugafalls]

6. You are welcome.

It is a hard situation to be in for sure. Calling the authorities could exacerbate the psychotic episode. But something has to be done to get him help so you are kind of in a catch 22 situation.

Hopefully, he is lucid enough to accept help from the police as that may be the only option.

I wish there was more we could do.

[Rorey]

10. She even mentioned that he'd probably be mad at her

He'd get over it when he's stabilized, I'm sure.

I was married for a few years back in college to a great guy who was later diagnosed as bipolar. We have a son together. We were both pretty young and the marriage didn't last, but of course I saw him a lot because of our son. One time I drove up to Winnipeg, where he was living at the time, to visit. When I got there, his roommate met me outside and told me something was wrong and I needed to do something. He had been in a mania phase for several days. It took me most of the day to convince him that we needed to go to a health center to get his blood checked. When we got there, I explained everything and asked that they not force him because he was at a point where he would accept help. Didn't work out that way. Two orderlies came in and got him. It wasn't good. I was furious, and also upset that he wouldn't forgive me for "tricking" him into going there. I went to see him as soon as I could after that, a few weeks later after he was stabilized. He wasn't angry with me. He understood.

We're still pretty good friends. He's a good guy. Brilliant, really. But his disorder has been difficult to manage. It makes me so sad that such an awful thing has to happen to such a good person.

[Laelth]

4. Call the police in whatever jurisdiction he is in.

Period. I would feel compelled to do that much. He obviously needs immediate medical care.

Then, make a plan to take care of him after he’s released from the hospital. He gains nothing if he is just shuffled back into the same abusive relationship that he is obviously trying to escape.

Just my 2 cents. You must do what you feel is right, of course.

-Laelth

[Rorey]

7. I think so too

My friend didn't think it was possible to do anything because he's an adult, but he's obviously in crisis.

She did call his partner in Florida, but I don't know how that conversation went. I'll call her tomorrow, if she doesn't call me before then.

She is very upset. I asked if he had any mental issues on an ongoing basis, and she said it really started when he fell and hit his head. He could have a tumor or something, and if he's not managing his diabetes, that just makes it worse.

Everybody is spread out all over the place, which doesn't help either. She's in North Dakota, he's in Louisiana, and his partner is in Florida.

Thanks for your input. I hope tomorrow something gets resolved so he can get help.

[badhair77]

5. I understand the reluctance to call the police but I think it's

the proper route. He needs help and they should be able to provide it. The alternative is he’s there alone and that would not be good in his situation.

[Rorey]

8. I agree

If it were me, I'd already be in my car driving there. My friend's health is not that great, and if she were to get the virus, it might kill her.

I hesitate to flat out advise her to call the police. I've learned through experience that authority figures don't always handle things the way we'd like, even when they know what they're walking into. If my friend's brother got combative, I worry that they'd take him to jail instead of to a hospital, and possibly even hurt him. I just figured the best thing that I can do is to give her all of the information I can find so she can decide. And DU is full of very smart people. Thanks for your input.

[badhair77]

11. Is there a Crisis Hotline in that area?

They might be able to send proper medical help.

[Rorey]

13. See, that's why I thought of asking here

These things don't even occur to me.

She told me the name of the town where he is, but of course I've already forgotten it. I'll call her right away in the morning to find out. Hopefully nothing will happen in between now and then.

Thank you!

[tulipsandroses]

9. Another option is to find out if there is a local mobile crisis team

that will go to him. That way there will be trained mental health professionals there to help.

[Rorey]

12. That is an excellent idea.

I'm going to ask her tomorrow what town he's in and make some calls. Thank you!