I freaked out today

[undergroundpanther]

Trauma issues got to me,and I got triggered,got flashbacks and lost it.I hate PTSD and Dissociastive identity ,it just hurts.
Why is it abusers get away with so much? They destroy a person's soul,then everyone else makes believe it wasen't what it was or,minimizes it,excuses the perp and blames the victim. I'm in psych treatment,a day program to cope with all the damage done.

I hated flipping out today I feel bad about it,when my own mind abuses itself.

[talkingmime]

1. You need a hug.

If you lived near me I'd give you one in person.

[undergroundpanther]

3. thanks

Now I got people trying to defame me now because I put up a post that declared all men are potential rapists,and it was removed, because people didn't bother to understand where I was coming from,then someone PM's me asking me to repost it..a banned post like that won't get me in trouble,..the denial crowd came and the hostile ones the ones that make light of rape and point out the female rapist.. why,why can't people see that a choice a potential victim cannot predict or know with any certainty is all that stands between a nice guy and a rapist. people lie,manipulate,and some don't care who gets hurt. some men are compassionate. but that potential remains.

Why is that rape is always a huge mean debate?

But I stand by my words,even though people don't like hearing it.Especially men.


Sometimes the world is just unbearable.

[talkingmime]

4. Rape is not a sexual act. It's an act of violence. That's it. Violence.

It isn't just men. Women rape too. It's still violence, not sex.

I'm a guy and I have no tolerance for rape. I'd kill someone involved in the act. I have a 20" sword cane and I'd use it. Ther's no excuse for rape. None.

[undergroundpanther]

6. I am glad you understand

and you would stop a rapist with that sword.I wish you could have been there for me,but regardless you will be there for someone and I respect you for that. I agree rape is intolerable but some people are always trying to get others to tolerate it or excuse it and to me that is just evil. Thanks for hating rape..

[Sissyk]

7. I'm sorry you are having a terrible day.

Know that we are here with you.

[Voice for Peace]

2. Better next time. Keep going, keep learning.

I'm not going to hate myself any more, ever again.

I'm here for the child I was, to be the support
and the teacher. The comforter and the guide,
for the broken child in me still wanting and
trying to get well.

We can only go forward from this present
moment. Leave it, rest. Find the beautiful
innocence within you.

[undergroundpanther]

5. I think

It was murdered long ago.

[Sissyk]

8. There are compassionate people here,

underrgroundpanther. Just try to focus on them, okay?

And you have a great heart. Go with that. Don't let someone by pm talk you into doing something that may get you in trouble here, okay?

You are here.. That's what counts.

[Voice for Peace]

10. when we have been sexually abused, especially if it was ongoing in childhood,

There is usually a sense that down deep in us
there is nothing but darkness, badness, ugliness,
dirtiness. Even if we strive to live like a saint,
the darkness is who we are. But it's a wrong belief.

Our original self is good, beautiful, and does not
change and remains innocent.
As long as there is breath, it is indestructible.
Can not be stolen or defiled. Can not be murdered.

It's a very simple self and we all have it.
We may deny it, reject it, over-analyze,
minimize and/or dismiss it, but we all have it.
There is much to explore there...
and it's the key to healing.

Do not ever despair, there is always a hopeful
place in you, but you have to look for it.
Try for it, care about it, wonder about it,
don't negate its existence. Look around inside
of you, it's there, it's a feeling.

It's like looking for the sun when it's raining
outside. WTF there's no goddam sun. But
it's there. And it's powerful. In you, in me.

[Ilsa]

9. I'm so glad you survived.

I'm glad you are still here with us.

Do the therapy; it's a lot of work, but it helps. It takes time, but it gets better.