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CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:43 AM May 2022

This message was self-deleted by its author

This message was self-deleted by its author (CountAllVotes) on Sun May 15, 2022, 12:21 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

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This message was self-deleted by its author (Original Post) CountAllVotes May 2022 OP
I am very sorry for your loss. brer cat May 2022 #1
I'm so sorry, CountAllVotes. femmedem May 2022 #2
Deepest Condolences SheltieLover May 2022 #3
Sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved. gademocrat7 May 2022 #4
My heart goes out to you. Siwsan May 2022 #5
May you find snowybirdie May 2022 #6
I wish you Strength and Courage, CountAllVotes, in this new world without your Beloved. ZZenith May 2022 #7
We had a cat named "Ripples" CountAllVotes May 2022 #19
Ahh... TuxedoKat May 2022 #61
I hope he's met by many cats to welcome him lunatica May 2022 #99
My sweetheart Mme. Defarge May 2022 #103
I'm so sorry for your loss. May every good memory and livetohike May 2022 #8
So sorry for your loss bluecollar2 May 2022 #9
So sorry for your loss. JohnSJ May 2022 #10
... 🕯️ Duppers May 2022 #11
Condolences sarge43 May 2022 #12
I am very sorry for your loss. Peace to you. LoisB May 2022 #13
I'm so very sorry. catbyte May 2022 #14
May his memory be eternal. Mme. Defarge May 2022 #104
I am so very sorry UpInArms May 2022 #15
I'm so sorry for your loss, CountAllVotes. zbird May 2022 #16
Sorry for your loss Bettie May 2022 #17
I'm so sorry. nt Phoenix61 May 2022 #18
Now when he visits you in your dreams tavernier May 2022 #20
I'm so sorry, your story made me think of this. dem4decades May 2022 #21
You have all my sympathy. I lost my beloved in 2005 Walleye May 2022 #22
Oh, CountAllVotes, please accept my deepest condolences. Laffy Kat May 2022 #23
I'm so sorry. ancianita May 2022 #24
I met him on St. Patrick's Day in 1978 CountAllVotes May 2022 #62
I'm so sorry for your loss. area51 May 2022 #25
I'm so sorry for your loss Danmel May 2022 #26
My heart goes out to you and I wish you peace in the coming days. mercuryblues May 2022 #27
All my deepest BlueMTexpat May 2022 #28
What a beautiful tribute... I've read many here in DU, but yours stands out for me.. secondwind May 2022 #29
May I walk with you.. multigraincracker May 2022 #30
I'm so sorry. Sending you virtual hugs. Lonestarblue May 2022 #31
Sorry RayStar May 2022 #32
Deepest sympathy malaise May 2022 #33
I'm very sorry for your loss dlk May 2022 #34
Heartfelt sympathy to you bucolic_frolic May 2022 #35
So sorry for your loss samplegirl May 2022 #36
I'm so very sorry cate94 May 2022 #37
I am so very sorry Highway61 May 2022 #38
My condolences 💐 relayerbob May 2022 #39
So sorry for your loss. ProudMNDemocrat May 2022 #40
deepest sympathies gixxerlee May 2022 #41
May his memory be a blessing. harumph May 2022 #42
My Condolences to you and all who loved him. Ilsa May 2022 #43
It has been so rough for you. I hope you find some peace now. BoomaofBandM May 2022 #44
I'm so sorry for your loss and for everything you and he went through. Nt spooky3 May 2022 #45
sorry for your loss DonCoquixote May 2022 #46
I am so terribly sorry for you loss and the pain... Trueblue Texan May 2022 #47
44 years with an Irishman... babylonsister May 2022 #48
I am so sorry for your loss LetMyPeopleVote May 2022 #49
My deepest condolences. sinkingfeeling May 2022 #50
May your beloved be blessed with peace and comfort, pazzyanne May 2022 #51
... 2naSalit May 2022 #52
I am so very sorry for your incredible loss. Sending vibes for healing and peace and niyad May 2022 #53
Sending hugs and love. MLAA May 2022 #54
I am sorry. murielm99 May 2022 #55
I'm so sorry for your loss. MontanaMama May 2022 #56
Sorrow for your loss and colorado_ufo May 2022 #57
My heart goes out to you. May you find peace in your sorrow. Fla Dem May 2022 #58
I am so sorry for your loss. sheshe2 May 2022 #59
I'm sorry for your troubles, CAV... Harker May 2022 #60
Sorry for your loss Stuart G May 2022 #63
You have my deepest condolences 🙏 SimplyHadEnough May 2022 #64
CAV... My deepest sympathies Peacetrain May 2022 #65
You might find it hard to believe how badly I feel about this. BobTheSubgenius May 2022 #66
Mr. Silver, the cat he adopted as a kitten was with me all night CountAllVotes May 2022 #67
It's a mystery why some events or accounts resonate much more deeply than others. BobTheSubgenius May 2022 #129
my heart goes out to you lillypaddle May 2022 #68
I am terribly sorry for your loss. It is so hard when loved ones leave. Maraya1969 May 2022 #69
Thank you for your lovely tribute Wild blueberry May 2022 #70
I'm so sorry for your loss minstrel76 May 2022 #71
I am so very sorry, CountAllVotes. pnwmom May 2022 #72
44 years w a good irishman. you are a lucky woman. mopinko May 2022 #73
We all have our faults CountAllVotes May 2022 #76
Sending you a big hug, along with condolences MyMission May 2022 #84
Luckily I enrolled in legal insurance last year CountAllVotes May 2022 #94
try not to be too hard on the friends. mopinko May 2022 #121
The "friends" I thought I had are all busy CountAllVotes May 2022 #122
ugh. yes, f them. mopinko May 2022 #123
+1,000 CountAllVotes May 2022 #124
fair weather friends. f them indeed. mopinko May 2022 #125
I haven't bothered to inform my TFG brother CountAllVotes May 2022 #126
I'm so very sorry for your loss. StarryNite May 2022 #74
The soul never dies CountAllVotes May 2022 #95
Please accept my condolences. n/t malthaussen May 2022 #75
CountAllVotes, I am so very sorry. crickets May 2022 #77
Blessings and healing Richluu May 2022 #78
I am so very sorry stage left May 2022 #79
Sad. I'm sorry for your loss. pandr32 May 2022 #80
I know it's tough but he remains with you in your thoughts and in your heart, take care. Cozmo May 2022 #81
I am so sorry for your loss, CountAllVotes. smirkymonkey May 2022 #82
I'm so very sorry for your loss. -nt CrispyQ May 2022 #83
Deepest sympathy orangecrush May 2022 #85
A beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your beloved. virgdem May 2022 #86
Regrets dupagelib May 2022 #87
Bless your heart, so sorry for your loss... Raster May 2022 #88
I'm so sorry for your loss. Yorkie Mom May 2022 #89
Loving tribute suncat May 2022 #90
May he have eternal rest wrapped in the perpetual light of Divine Love. PatrickforB May 2022 #91
I'm so sorry. hamsterjill May 2022 #92
I'm so sorry. Chellee May 2022 #93
I am so sorry, CountAllVotes. yellerpup May 2022 #96
Deep condlences and symapthy Richard D May 2022 #97
I'm sorry. LisaM May 2022 #98
So sorry for your loss. evolves May 2022 #100
I am saying some Hail Marys for him. Irish_Dem May 2022 #101
May his memory be eternal. Mme. Defarge May 2022 #102
An Irish Blessing for the loss of a loved one FakeNoose May 2022 #105
I am so sorry for your loss. (eom) StevieM May 2022 #106
I am so very sorry for your loss. CousinIT May 2022 #107
Holding you in my heart... cherish those memories. n/t TygrBright May 2022 #108
... shenmue May 2022 #109
So sorry for your loss COL Mustard May 2022 #110
🌹 MFM008 May 2022 #111
Suaimhneas sora d anam Gaelach. TomSlick May 2022 #112
Thank you CountAllVotes May 2022 #114
To have loved and be loved by an Irishman is all the blessing for which anyone could hope. TomSlick May 2022 #115
Holding you in the light n/t KatK May 2022 #113
May the angels welcome him into Paradise; May you find peace and comfort No Vested Interest May 2022 #118
I am so sorry for your loss. AmBlue May 2022 #116
may his soul llashram May 2022 #117
BIGGG HUGGGG proud patriot May 2022 #119
My heart hurts for you. 😢 myccrider May 2022 #120
I never knew I could feel so much pain CountAllVotes May 2022 #127
Sending you love and support. calimary May 2022 #128

brer cat

(26,162 posts)
1. I am very sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:49 AM
May 2022

femmedem

(8,430 posts)
2. I'm so sorry, CountAllVotes.
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:55 AM
May 2022

SheltieLover

(59,498 posts)
3. Deepest Condolences
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:57 AM
May 2022

I am so saddened to hear of your beloved's transition.

Please take good care of yourself. Grieving is hard work, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Be gentle with yourself & know that the stages of grief are not linear.

Healing vibes on the way to you.

gademocrat7

(11,151 posts)
4. Sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved.
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:59 AM
May 2022

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him.

Siwsan

(27,261 posts)
5. My heart goes out to you.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:00 AM
May 2022

Such a loss can be so difficult to process. Remember, you have your friends here, on DU, when ever you need us.

snowybirdie

(5,602 posts)
6. May you find
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:06 AM
May 2022

strength in his memory. Rest in peace.

ZZenith

(4,311 posts)
7. I wish you Strength and Courage, CountAllVotes, in this new world without your Beloved.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:08 AM
May 2022

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come through the music?
Would you hold it near as it were your own?
It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow
Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full, may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men
There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow
You who choose to lead must follow
But if you fall, you fall alone
If you should stand, then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home
La da da da...

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
19. We had a cat named "Ripples"
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:50 AM
May 2022

He was a shelter cat that seemed to be a Flame Point Siamese. He lived to be about 10 years old.

Ripples was named that because he looked like he had reddish ripples on him.

He loved Ripples and all cats in fact. That was one of the things that we shared, our love for cats. We had many over the years, his favorite being a white cat that was found the same day our other white cat had died too soon of feline epilepsy.

The day before he died I took him in a picture of her. He saw the picture and was able to say "kitty". My god, that got me good.

I went back again the next day and took him a little TY Beanie Babies white cat. He sure liked that little kitty too.

Kitty. Oh yes.

I'm sure there are kitties aplenty wherever he now is.

TuxedoKat

(3,821 posts)
61. Ahh...
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:31 AM
May 2022

I'm sure there are too, and all the ones he loved to greet him. So sorry for the loss of your beloved dad. From a fellow kitty lover.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
99. I hope he's met by many cats to welcome him
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:38 PM
May 2022

Especially all your old cats who went before. Hugs to you in this harsh time!

Mme. Defarge

(8,515 posts)
103. My sweetheart
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:37 PM
May 2022

was a “cat man” too. Now it’s just moi and the girls, Princess Grace and Kate the Great.

livetohike

(22,921 posts)
8. I'm so sorry for your loss. May every good memory and
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:14 AM
May 2022

the stories you share always comfort you and bring you peace.

bluecollar2

(3,622 posts)
9. So sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:15 AM
May 2022

JohnSJ

(96,436 posts)
10. So sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:18 AM
May 2022

Duppers

(28,244 posts)
11. ... 🕯️
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:18 AM
May 2022
With my sympathy for you in dealing with your grief of losing your dear Irishman.

sarge43

(29,147 posts)
12. Condolences
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:22 AM
May 2022

May your loving memories bring you comfort and peace.

Let us know if we can help.

LoisB

(8,570 posts)
13. I am very sorry for your loss. Peace to you.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:37 AM
May 2022

catbyte

(35,708 posts)
14. I'm so very sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:39 AM
May 2022

I lost my beloved of 30 years in December 2015 and I think about him every day. Again, I am so sorry.

Mme. Defarge

(8,515 posts)
104. May his memory be eternal.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:39 PM
May 2022

UpInArms

(51,758 posts)
15. I am so very sorry
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:44 AM
May 2022

(((((((Hugs)))))))

zbird

(1,599 posts)
16. I'm so sorry for your loss, CountAllVotes.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:46 AM
May 2022

Bettie

(16,951 posts)
17. Sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:46 AM
May 2022

Phoenix61

(17,570 posts)
18. I'm so sorry. nt
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:49 AM
May 2022

tavernier

(13,258 posts)
20. Now when he visits you in your dreams
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:52 AM
May 2022

he will be whole and healthy. Mine comes often and we sometimes go house hunting at the ocean. That’s my favorite.
Mine was Irish too. I’ll have him go round and introduce himself. He’s been there five years this month so he knows the layout.
Now you concentrate on taking care of you.

dem4decades

(11,886 posts)
21. I'm so sorry, your story made me think of this.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:54 AM
May 2022

And it's just a box of rain
I don't know who put it there
Believe it if you need it
Or leave it if you dare
And it's just a box of rain
Or a ribbon for your hair
Such a long long time to be gone
And a short time to be there

Good luck, you've done all you could.

Walleye

(35,185 posts)
22. You have all my sympathy. I lost my beloved in 2005
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:09 AM
May 2022

Rest assured you did everything for him that you could. Love is such a wonderful thing but it hurts so bad. I hope you find some peace with your kitties. I know mine are good companionship. We used to say don’t let the changes get you down

Laffy Kat

(16,517 posts)
23. Oh, CountAllVotes, please accept my deepest condolences.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:09 AM
May 2022

He was lucky to have been loved by you.

ancianita

(38,369 posts)
24. I'm so sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:11 AM
May 2022

Living over half one's life together is a blessing.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
62. I met him on St. Patrick's Day in 1978
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:46 AM
May 2022

We were together ever since that day.

We were married some 7 years later in Carson City, Nevada at one of those silly chapels for $45.00.

After that we went to Harrah's and quickly downed several stiff screwdrivers.

There was one of those beds at the motel we were staying at. You put a quarter in it and the whole bed began to vibrate.

I recall saying, "How in the hell does one sleep in one of these?".

So that was our wedding night.

There was a Grateful Dead concert at Boreal Ridge Ski Resort on Aug. 24, 1985. We went to that show and he was as proud as a peacock having me at his side. We had just gotten married and he told a man that walked by that was eyeing my tits (ha!) how happy we were.

The man said to him, "You lucky bastard!".

It was not one of the Grateful Dead's best shows, but here it is from archive.org:

https://archive.org/details/gd1985-08-24.nak100.holtz.jaz.99010.flac16

My late husband was 20 years older than I am and no one thought it would work.

He had many tales to tell from Ireland, including the citing/sound and wail of the banshee when their neighbor, the late Mrs. O'Sulllivan died at the age of 114 years as her procession passed by. He ran to catch the banshee but failed. He spoke of this incident for the rest of his life so I guess it made an impression on him. He was a boy of 12 years old at that time that had to drop out of school to work the farm as his father died when he was only a year old leaving behind a widow with eight children to care for and twins on the way.

Thanks again friends! Thank you!


area51

(12,131 posts)
25. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:11 AM
May 2022

Danmel

(5,220 posts)
26. I'm so sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:15 AM
May 2022

May sweet memories of your beloved bring you comfort and peace.

mercuryblues

(15,077 posts)
27. My heart goes out to you and I wish you peace in the coming days.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:18 AM
May 2022

BlueMTexpat

(15,493 posts)
28. All my deepest
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:18 AM
May 2022

sympathies and condolences!

secondwind

(16,903 posts)
29. What a beautiful tribute... I've read many here in DU, but yours stands out for me..
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:27 AM
May 2022


You were blessed to have him for almost half a century, relish all the wonderful memories... He is at peace now.

multigraincracker

(33,998 posts)
30. May I walk with you..
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:40 AM
May 2022

in your time of pain?
My heart goes out to you today.

Lonestarblue

(11,721 posts)
31. I'm so sorry. Sending you virtual hugs.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:43 AM
May 2022

May you find comfort in your memories and stories of your life together.

RayStar

(417 posts)
32. Sorry
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:49 AM
May 2022

for your lost.

malaise

(277,850 posts)
33. Deepest sympathy
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:53 AM
May 2022

dlk

(12,324 posts)
34. I'm very sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:00 AM
May 2022

Wishing peace for you at this difficult time.

bucolic_frolic

(46,818 posts)
35. Heartfelt sympathy to you
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:12 AM
May 2022

Know the peace that he is in, and that the world turns at its own pace for its own reasons.

samplegirl

(12,051 posts)
36. So sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:17 AM
May 2022

may he now have peace. Take care of yourself.

cate94

(2,882 posts)
37. I'm so very sorry
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:17 AM
May 2022

May he Rest In Peace.

Highway61

(2,571 posts)
38. I am so very sorry
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:21 AM
May 2022

relayerbob

(6,992 posts)
39. My condolences 💐
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:23 AM
May 2022

ProudMNDemocrat

(19,030 posts)
40. So sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:26 AM
May 2022

I will raise a pint of Guiness in honor of your little Irishman.

gixxerlee

(215 posts)
41. deepest sympathies
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:29 AM
May 2022

harumph

(2,279 posts)
42. May his memory be a blessing.
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:31 AM
May 2022

Ilsa

(62,219 posts)
43. My Condolences to you and all who loved him.
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:32 AM
May 2022

I hope he has found peace.

BoomaofBandM

(1,922 posts)
44. It has been so rough for you. I hope you find some peace now.
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:37 AM
May 2022

spooky3

(36,090 posts)
45. I'm so sorry for your loss and for everything you and he went through. Nt
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:40 AM
May 2022

DonCoquixote

(13,696 posts)
46. sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:40 AM
May 2022

I hope you get the support you need and deserve

Trueblue Texan

(2,903 posts)
47. I am so terribly sorry for you loss and the pain...
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:42 AM
May 2022

...you must be enduring. Although I don't know you, my heart will hold you and offer comfort to you throughout these sad days. Peace and Love.

babylonsister

(171,577 posts)
48. 44 years with an Irishman...
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:44 AM
May 2022

I am very sorry for your loss, but I imagine you were both blessed while he was here, and you got to share your life with someone who you obviously loved, for a long time. Hugs. xoxo

LetMyPeopleVote

(154,110 posts)
49. I am so sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:06 AM
May 2022

sinkingfeeling

(52,964 posts)
50. My deepest condolences.
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:08 AM
May 2022

pazzyanne

(6,599 posts)
51. May your beloved be blessed with peace and comfort,
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:12 AM
May 2022

and may you be blessed with friends and great self-care until you are reunited.

2naSalit

(92,449 posts)
52. ...
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:14 AM
May 2022

niyad

(119,632 posts)
53. I am so very sorry for your incredible loss. Sending vibes for healing and peace and
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:15 AM
May 2022

strength. Your DU family is here for you.

MLAA

(18,575 posts)
54. Sending hugs and love.
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:28 AM
May 2022

You did a wonderful job of caring for him and seeing him through his passing. ❤️

murielm99

(31,414 posts)
55. I am sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:48 AM
May 2022

MontanaMama

(24,004 posts)
56. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:15 AM
May 2022

May I offer my own moment of silence for your beloved father?

colorado_ufo

(5,919 posts)
57. Sorrow for your loss and
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:27 AM
May 2022

admiration for your courage.

Fla Dem

(25,639 posts)
58. My heart goes out to you. May you find peace in your sorrow.
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:29 AM
May 2022

sheshe2

(87,238 posts)
59. I am so sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:29 AM
May 2022

Harker

(14,843 posts)
60. I'm sorry for your troubles, CAV...
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:29 AM
May 2022

but I know he'll live gloriously in your heart.

Stuart G

(38,726 posts)
63. Sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:49 AM
May 2022

SimplyHadEnough

(65 posts)
64. You have my deepest condolences 🙏
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:50 AM
May 2022

Peacetrain

(23,622 posts)
65. CAV... My deepest sympathies
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:58 AM
May 2022

You and your beloved are in my thoughts and prayers today..

BobTheSubgenius

(11,775 posts)
66. You might find it hard to believe how badly I feel about this.
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:58 AM
May 2022

The very best of good luck and comfort to you and your little furry people.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
67. Mr. Silver, the cat he adopted as a kitten was with me all night
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:13 AM
May 2022

Normally, Silver is an elusive cat that moans and sounds like a foghorn. This is his middle name in fact, foghorn. Silver F. for short!

Silver is very sad. I brought the lovely quilt into the bedroom and he marked it good. I'm sure he could smell my husband on it.

We are all grieving around here, cats included.

What a sad state of affairs indeed.

Luckily, I some how managed to make it to Costco after I went yesterday and stocked up of food and filled up my 20+ year old Honda while I was there.

So, I have everything I need for now.

I have to go to the dentist today to get my teeth tended to and then the mortuary where he is now under their care.

Thank you so much for your kind response. I appreciate it very much.

Your friend,

CountAllVotes

BobTheSubgenius

(11,775 posts)
129. It's a mystery why some events or accounts resonate much more deeply than others.
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:59 PM
May 2022

Your OP was one of the deep kind, but your response has heartened me a great deal, and tells me you are going to be fine. I hope you know it, too.

Mr. Silver is a remarkable cat, no? Animals know so much more than we often think. Our Cairn is very unsettled these days, and seems confused. We are moving back to the mainland, and the preparations leave him knowing something is up, but not what it is.

You and your cats will comfort each other, and there is always the amazing DU family. I'm sure you have good RL friends, as well, and probably very good ones. Lean on anything and anyone you need to, or be as solitary and insular as you need to be for now.

All our best,

Jim

lillypaddle

(9,605 posts)
68. my heart goes out to you
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:16 AM
May 2022

May you both find peace in his passing.

Maraya1969

(22,986 posts)
69. I am terribly sorry for your loss. It is so hard when loved ones leave.
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:25 AM
May 2022

Wild blueberry

(7,175 posts)
70. Thank you for your lovely tribute
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:30 AM
May 2022

May your beloved rest in peace, and may you find peace as you grieve. You both were lucky to love one another.

minstrel76

(88 posts)
71. I'm so sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:02 AM
May 2022

pnwmom

(109,532 posts)
72. I am so very sorry, CountAllVotes.
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:12 AM
May 2022

mopinko

(71,713 posts)
73. 44 years w a good irishman. you are a lucky woman.
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:20 AM
May 2022

i have a theory that all our smiles are eventually paid for in tears. try to remember those smiles as you wipe away the tears.

and yes, it is a cruel, cruel way to go. a little bit at a time.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
76. We all have our faults
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:34 AM
May 2022

We both had ours.

I am Irish-American myself and I grew up surrounded by the Irish people.

We had many challenges over the years but we stuck it out best we could.

He cared for me when I almost died in 2009.

I cared for him for many many years as the dementia began a number of years ago.

It was a very difficult road to walk.

They wanted me to put him away in a care facility. I refused. I told him that I would do all I can for him until I cannot do any more.

I kept my promise. He was with me up until the end.

Till death do us part indeed.

I kept my promise as did he.

I have not informed what is left of my own family. They are fans of TFG and I know what I would hear. It would be, "Well that's your problem. How much money do you have anyway?". My husband had no possessions, never did from Day #1. I am being left an impoverished widow as I cannot collect his Social Security as my SSDI (I have MS and have been on SSDI since 1996) is more than he received. I'm sure my TFG family would wallow in joy knowing this. I have no intention of telling any of them that he is gone as I wrote to them several months ago re: the situation and received no reply.

What a shallow life to be seen in those we thought we knew.

I am so very disappointed in many of my "friends" yet overwhelmed by the kindness that others have showered me with.

One day at a time as they say ...

One long long day it has been.

MyMission

(1,999 posts)
84. Sending you a big hug, along with condolences
Fri May 13, 2022, 12:49 PM
May 2022

I was a caregiver to my mother, who had dementia in the final years of her life.
I think I did a bit of grieving before she died, mourning parts of her that were going or gone.
But her essence, her smile, her presence were what I missed most, and still miss after 6 years this week, but not in a deprived way. Rather, I feel blessed to have had her in my life and to have been able to care for her.

I had my cats for comfort also, but wasn't a member here at DU until several months later. I came looking for community and found a treasure trove of good souls, including you. I am also without close family, and was responsible for all the details of the burial and settling the estate. I really hope you don't have unpleasant dealings with your unpleasant relatives.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending another hug.

May your memories sustain you.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
94. Luckily I enrolled in legal insurance last year
Fri May 13, 2022, 03:36 PM
May 2022

It must have been instinct as I've had this available to me for 25 years now but never took it as I am a state retiree. I guess COVID made me do it, I don't know. I have excellent benefits but my pension is $100 a month, that's it.

I have an appt. to see an attorney that specializes in estates and matters like what I've been up against at the end of May.

Seems my tracks are well covered as there is no estate as it now stands.

As for the undesirable relatives, they won't be getting a thing.

Their behavior is unacceptable.

I knew this already anyway as my mother and father's death told me all I needed to know about these "loving" relatives. ha.

Fortunately, I pre-arranged cremations years ago as well so that expensive is not an added worry.

I must have been thinking right at some point but right now, I am pretty out of it.

I still have my cats.

They give me something to live for that I know loves me.

mopinko

(71,713 posts)
121. try not to be too hard on the friends.
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:23 AM
May 2022

so many people just dont know what to say, or have some grief of their own that has them in a bag. some just toss out promises, and others are just tongue tied.

i used to be a hospice volunteer, and i found a good icebreaker is- tell me a story about them.
i'm nothing but irish myself, i'll tell ya a half hour story at the drop of a hat. it was always a bit of work to hold the floor open for others. but folks would tell me amazing stories, and i always loved hearing them.

here's to the stories we leave behind.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
122. The "friends" I thought I had are all busy
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:27 AM
May 2022

Wall Street is their GOD and they've been busy worshiping their GOD.

Their GOD has been pissing on 'em bad lately.

Fuck 'em if you know what I mean.


mopinko

(71,713 posts)
123. ugh. yes, f them.
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:33 AM
May 2022

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
124. +1,000
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:40 AM
May 2022

They wanted to know what would I do after he got out of the hospital. Who would care for him?

He opted to die instead.

As the old saying goes, "With friends like this, who needs enemies?".

Not me, that's for sure!

And to think I was going to name these people as my power of attorney for healthcare? Glad I know now before I proceeded to do so.

They suffer from a disease called greed and brain rot. I'm not sure which is worse, but I'm leaning towards GREED.

What a huge disappointment!



mopinko

(71,713 posts)
125. fair weather friends. f them indeed.
Sat May 14, 2022, 10:47 AM
May 2022

between the bullshit i've gone through w my urban farm, my divorce in '14, and the hell of the last couple years, i think i have cut off every f'ing one of them. it's one of my most useful gifts.
couple sisters, too. oh well.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
126. I haven't bothered to inform my TFG brother
Sat May 14, 2022, 11:26 AM
May 2022

I know what he would say.

"That is your problem. How much did it cost? How much did it cost?".

Money is his GOD.

What a sad GOD he has.

I want nothing to do with the sorry ass SOB. Nope.

I was done with him after my parents died.

When he said, "Wait until the old lady is dead before you dump the dog", that done it.

I knew and if I'd pretended not to know, well that is my fault.

What a small world these greed ridden people live in.

The almighty buck rules their sad lives.

They are the ones that are alone, not I.



StarryNite

(10,773 posts)
74. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:24 AM
May 2022

Dementia is horrible but as you said, it doesn't steal the soul.

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
95. The soul never dies
Fri May 13, 2022, 03:44 PM
May 2022

That is how I as a Catholic believe.

The soul never dies.

It lives on forever and ever.

malthaussen

(17,657 posts)
75. Please accept my condolences. n/t
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:32 AM
May 2022

crickets

(26,148 posts)
77. CountAllVotes, I am so very sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:39 AM
May 2022

Richluu

(96 posts)
78. Blessings and healing
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:47 AM
May 2022

💚

stage left

(3,016 posts)
79. I am so very sorry
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:49 AM
May 2022

for the loss of your beloved.

pandr32

(12,145 posts)
80. Sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 12:22 PM
May 2022

Cozmo

(1,402 posts)
81. I know it's tough but he remains with you in your thoughts and in your heart, take care.
Fri May 13, 2022, 12:28 PM
May 2022
 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
82. I am so sorry for your loss, CountAllVotes.
Fri May 13, 2022, 12:39 PM
May 2022

My sincere condolences. May he rest in peace!

CrispyQ

(38,166 posts)
83. I'm so very sorry for your loss. -nt
Fri May 13, 2022, 12:41 PM
May 2022


orangecrush

(21,619 posts)
85. Deepest sympathy
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:24 PM
May 2022






virgdem

(2,204 posts)
86. A beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your beloved.
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:27 PM
May 2022

My deepest condolences to you for this immeasurable loss.

dupagelib

(162 posts)
87. Regrets
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:30 PM
May 2022

Focus on what you had, not on what you've lost. His memory will bring you happiness and joy.

Raster

(20,999 posts)
88. Bless your heart, so sorry for your loss...
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:31 PM
May 2022

Yorkie Mom

(16,546 posts)
89. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:36 PM
May 2022

suncat

(41 posts)
90. Loving tribute
Fri May 13, 2022, 01:55 PM
May 2022

You have given such a beautiful tribute of your beloved. He was a wonderful person, I can tell by your words. He will be waiting there for you, I am sure.

PatrickforB

(15,101 posts)
91. May he have eternal rest wrapped in the perpetual light of Divine Love.
Fri May 13, 2022, 02:27 PM
May 2022

In the meantime, as a fellow Irishman (my people emigrated from County Roscommon back in the 1840s), I give you this - I've always loved it and it has assuaged my own grief at times:

hamsterjill

(15,500 posts)
92. I'm so sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 03:05 PM
May 2022

May you find peace and comfort.

Chellee

(2,207 posts)
93. I'm so sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 03:17 PM
May 2022

yellerpup

(12,263 posts)
96. I am so sorry, CountAllVotes.
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:01 PM
May 2022

44 years is a long time to love someone and then be all alone. My heart breaks for you.

Richard D

(9,329 posts)
97. Deep condlences and symapthy
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:04 PM
May 2022

May he rest in Power, and may his memory be a blessing to all he touched.

LisaM

(28,563 posts)
98. I'm sorry.
Fri May 13, 2022, 04:18 PM
May 2022

May he get to heaven before the devil knows he's dead.

evolves

(5,593 posts)
100. So sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 05:43 PM
May 2022

Sending love and peace.

Irish_Dem

(56,312 posts)
101. I am saying some Hail Marys for him.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:13 PM
May 2022

May his soul rest in peace.

Mme. Defarge

(8,515 posts)
102. May his memory be eternal.
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:31 PM
May 2022

My sweetheart and I made it to 40 years. He’s been gone since March of 2011. I miss him as much now as I ever have. His picture is on the mantle and every evening I lift my glass and wish him a happy happy hour. Sometimes I even tell him about my day. It gets easier over time.

Hugs from a distance,
Mme. D.

FakeNoose

(35,554 posts)
105. An Irish Blessing for the loss of a loved one
Fri May 13, 2022, 06:39 PM
May 2022


StevieM

(10,539 posts)
106. I am so sorry for your loss. (eom)
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:16 PM
May 2022

CousinIT

(10,076 posts)
107. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 07:41 PM
May 2022

I hope you can find strength and peace at this very difficult time.

When my Mom passed recently, I found this poem, left by someone at her memorial, a comfort. I hope you do too:

Death Is Nothing At All
by Henry Scott-Holland


Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

TygrBright

(20,987 posts)
108. Holding you in my heart... cherish those memories. n/t
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:22 PM
May 2022

shenmue

(38,537 posts)
109. ...
Fri May 13, 2022, 08:42 PM
May 2022

COL Mustard

(6,866 posts)
110. So sorry for your loss
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:12 PM
May 2022

MFM008

(19,993 posts)
111. 🌹
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:32 PM
May 2022

🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

TomSlick

(11,819 posts)
112. Suaimhneas sora d anam Gaelach.
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:42 PM
May 2022

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
114. Thank you
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:02 PM
May 2022

I do know a bit of Gaelic, not a lot but some.

Thanks again!



TomSlick

(11,819 posts)
115. To have loved and be loved by an Irishman is all the blessing for which anyone could hope.
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:11 PM
May 2022

May God bless and keep you.

KatK

(205 posts)
113. Holding you in the light n/t
Fri May 13, 2022, 09:50 PM
May 2022

No Vested Interest

(5,193 posts)
118. May the angels welcome him into Paradise; May you find peace and comfort
Sat May 14, 2022, 12:00 AM
May 2022

in knowing that you did all that you could for your dear Irishman.

May you reflect on the time and the blessing of his presence in your life.
Be very kind to yourself.
You were there for him until the end.
No one can ask for much more.

AmBlue

(3,436 posts)
116. I am so sorry for your loss.
Fri May 13, 2022, 10:41 PM
May 2022

We are never adequately prepared for the enormity of lost loves. Be gentle with yourself and give it all the time you need.

llashram

(6,269 posts)
117. may his soul
Fri May 13, 2022, 11:51 PM
May 2022

be at rest and happiness...

proud patriot

(101,115 posts)
119. BIGGG HUGGGG
Sat May 14, 2022, 12:20 AM
May 2022

myccrider

(484 posts)
120. My heart hurts for you. 😢
Sat May 14, 2022, 02:25 AM
May 2022

CountAllVotes

(21,046 posts)
127. I never knew I could feel so much pain
Sat May 14, 2022, 11:54 AM
May 2022

When my father died I was a wreck for months as he too went out the hard way.



I never got over it really and now this.

Thank you for your kind words.

calimary

(84,182 posts)
128. Sending you love and support.
Sat May 14, 2022, 01:44 PM
May 2022
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