Hydration at end of life

[marybourg]

My DH is in hospice and I live in a senior community, so I've been having lots of EOL conversations lately. Two people with loved ones dying in hospice have both told me, in describing their loved ones' last days, that neither food nor water was given, nor offered, in the last days when death was obviously imminent. I'm struggling with this a bit.

My granny ended her life in that way, but by her own competent choice in her mid-90's, and I had no problem going along with her wishes. But in both cases that were described to me, neither the patient, nor the spouse/medical POA were consulted, as least as far as either spouse remembers. One is still very disturbed about this; the other hadn't connected the dots between withholding of hydration and death until she told me about it and I reacted.

Just by happenstance, my DH's hospice provider is a free-standing Catholic organization (we are non-religious) whose representative told me that they would offer hydration in the last days. I'd appreciate the views of others on this issue.

[Hoyt]

1. I think it should be a choice. What little I have read in the few minutes since reading your post,

makes me feel that I'd probably agree to forgo food and hydration in the last few days simply because I'd rather avoid catheters, bedpans, etc., as much as possible. I would want some ice chips if I were really thirsty. But, I think in most cases, by the time you get to that point, you probably aren't affected like we might be.

Again, that's just me, based upon a little reading this morning and sitting with my father-in-law for weeks while he passed away. The last days were surprisingly peaceful as he was pretty much "asleep" the whole time.

I think it should be a choice and withholding should not be forced on anyone, or considered a "convenience" for the hospice.

I'm sorry you are going through that, please keep us updated. It might help some of us when the time comes.

Hope to come back to this thread when I have more time. Take care.

[Tab]

2. Personally I think if either were asked for then either should have been supplied.

At miniminimumumumium (I'm sure that can be shortened) if they were asking for water / ice/ water dabs they should have had access unless there was seme bizarre medical reason why it could it not be. I've been hospitalized for other things, and withholding ice chips or water swabs just seems cruel.

[marybourg]

3. These people were in hospice

and none were in much of a condition to be asking for anything.

This is a very different situation than an ordinary hospitalization.