At 94, she was ready to die by fasting. Her daughter filmed it.

[mia]

When Rosemary Bowen hurt her back last fall, she was diagnosed with a spinal compression fracture, a common injury for people with osteoporosis. At 94, the retired school reading specialist was active and socially engaged in her Friendship Heights neighborhood, swimming each day, cooking and cleaning for herself, and participating in walking groups, a book club and a poetry cafe. Doctors assured her that with physical therapy and a back brace, she would probably recover in about three months.

Instead, she announced to her family and friends that she had decided to terminate her life by fasting. After saying her goodbyes, she stopped eating, and in the early morning of the eighth day of her fast, she died in her sleep.

But first, Rosemary asked her daughter, Mary Beth Bowen, to film her fast. The final week of her life is now documented, day by day, in a 16-minute film, which was shown publicly for the first time Saturday at the End of Life Expo hosted by Iona Senior Services in Tenleytown.

Rosemary’s plan didn’t completely surprise her family. She had lived through the Depression, when her father lost his job and moved the family to their grandmother’s farmhouse in Magnolia, Wis. Perhaps because of that experience, she was horrified by the idea of imposing on others, even temporarily, to the point where she would stay in a hotel rather than with family. “For all my life, she used to say, ‘People should row their own boats,’?” Mary Beth said....

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/at-94-she-was-ready-to-die-by-fasting-her-daughter-filmed-it/2019/11/03/41688230-fcd9-11e9-8190-6be4deb56e01_story.html#comments-wrapper

[3Hotdogs]

1. Its sad that Rosemary and Mr. Rehm didn't have the option of physician assisted passing.

[FM123]

2. Wow.

That was some article. The comments afterwards were just as profound.

[Roy Rolling]

3. The Ultimate Freedom

Now wait for some right-winger to blame the family for being accomplices. They can’t help themselves demanding someone else be locked up.

[StarryNite]

10. Same here.

I'm happy for her that she did it her way though.

[Farmer-Rick]

5. I wish I could read the rest of it without paying.

But from what I read this should not be generalized to everyone's situation. There are very few who this situation would apply to.

I have a fried whose father was dying from smoking related illnesses. Quitting smoking would have given him years more even at 65. But he refused to quit and died of sudden cardiac arrest. He knew he was killing himself but didn't care, claiming God would decide. Even though this happened 5 years ago, his children still resent his choice. As if he couldn't wait to leave them.

So, choosing your own death is fine but you have to consider the people you leave with lingering resentment that you chose to leave them.

[Perseus]

8. He may have failed to explain to them, to have a frank conversation

And being open minded on the side of the family is important. The fact that they feel it was about them shows they were not very open minded.

There is a good book out there titled "The Four Agreements", the Four Agreements are: Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions and Always do your best.

I highlighted "Don't take anything personally." because that is the problem, we always think its personal, and in the case you talk about, they thought it had to do more with them than with himself.

I would think that if as a family they discuss the situation to make it clear to everyone why he/she is doing it that there should be no resentments.

[Farmer-Rick]

9. They had talks, lots and lots of talks, so he says.

He talked with his fathers about it. It did not change anything.

I wasn't there, so I don't know how the discussions went. But he still feels the lies of religion, the addiction of smoking and the disregard for the people that loved him led his father to his choice.

I'm just saying be careful about generalizing this woman's situation. It worked for her, but it can leave lingering resentments even if unspoken.

[Duppers]

13. A couple of decades makes a difference.

At 94yo the lady in the article had the right to have control over her life, imho.

Yes, the 65yo man was inconsiderate of his family's feelings, even though this was his choice.

I would rather choose my exit then have to suffer terribly. And I have discussed this already with my little family.

[ramen]

6. It baffles me that we still make people go through this.

Not that this is the worst way that Americans die, but it is far worse than it has to be. Ending one's own full-lived life when quality of life has hit diminishing returns should be one's absolute right, and should be a decision wherein medical providers should be allowed to give aid.

When football season is over, it's over.

[Duppers]

11. Agree, totally.

Thank you.

[Perseus]

7. Wow, what a courageous woman

We all need to know when its our time to go, when it is a futile exercise to give so much money to a hospital when we know what the inevitable outcome is going to be no matter how many drugs they give the patient.

What an admirable woman, she most probably led her life the way she wanted and decided when and how to go.

Aid-in-dying should be available in all states, I have to think that it is the medical industry who opposes it because it would diminish their earnings.

[appalachiablue]

12. Very moving and glad she found peace. Thanks for posting.

I know this neighborhood and worked with Iona House years ago. The area has excellent senior, elderly services, or it did when I knew it.

[rsdsharp]

14. I had an aunt who did that.

At the age of 96 she fell and broke her hip about 10 days before Halloween. Surgery went well, and she had been healthy and active before the fall. She spent two weeks in the hospital, and although she was told that if she did the prescribed physical therapy she'd be walking and back home (a retirement home) within about 3 weeks. She declined, and in early November she went to hospice. After about a week she stopped eating. A few days later, she stopped drinking. She passed away on Thanksgiving evening, not long after her 97th birthday.

She was long widowed and most of her friends had passed. She was also a very devout Christian, and essentially just wanted to go "home." I miss her, but I understand her choice. I might have made it myself were I in her place.