I want my life back

[slightlv]

29. Oh, you are SO not alone.

I've said for years each of us should be compensated for ongoing PTSD from the horrors of this man and his clap trap. My night terrors are enough some times to wake up the whole house, and each of those have trump in my face in one way or another.

I'm not the same person I was, either. I had just retired when T came into the office. Completely put me off track for gearing up for this major life change... one that I've not been able to get back straight on the track, yet. And now DH is losing memory and doing senior things at a much faster pace than I am, and I think back to this whole decade I could have had with him functioning so much better... instead, we were both yelling and worrying T and the R's were going to cut SS or Medicare, or start WWIII. I've gotten up in a bad mood because of dreams and taken it out on DH first thing in the morning, only to go back to him minutes later apologizing like crazy. I can forgive a lot of people for a lot of things, but I'll never forgive this senile billionaire for stealing a decade's worth of good years. I want to be able to be the calm, peaceful person I was when I handed in my retirement notice. I want to share in the lives around my house -- my DH, my grandson, and my animals, and not feel on edge, nervous, and ready to fly off the handle at a moment's notice. I want to be able to draw on my patience again to get a few projects started... and finished! And may all that T has stripped from us pile up on him in his remaining years. His family should have set him outside public life years ago, if there were any familial bonds in that family. After a couple of years with us, we got Mom to a memory care home where there were people skilled at what she needed. And she was acting exactly like T. The more I saw of T in the vid clips, the more I saw the decompensation in my Mom. His kids must only be worried about his money... because to allow him to go on stage and make such a fool of himself sure doesn't speak of love.