in preparing oneself to be available to help those that will be in need.
I am a second generation Mexican American man with obvious indigenous traits. I am suspect in a few ways because I look "Latino." I could be illegal, therefore a criminal rapist. I could be a betrayer to my people, to women, to African Americans who voted for Kamala. I feel this energy in the world right now despite my living in Chicago.
My hair is long. I tie it back when I leave the house for work. I take the Metra, the EL, the bus. From now on I am going to keep my hair down and loose while I commute and on my own time. I'll tie it back as I approach my work sites. My hair will be my blue bracelet. I hope people get it. I don't have the energy to spend my time defending my right to be in this country.
I am emotionally exhausted from arguing with the MAGA go-along-to-get-along "White" Mexicans in my family. Since Reagan they have been that way. And they're racist, though they'll deny it. So I am considering going no-contact/limited contact with them until, God willing, we come out the other side of this. This is difficult. I love them, and they love me. But their choices cause me pain and they enable people like trump and Stephen Miller.
Chicago has it's racist problems. As a recent example, an actual Nazi running for congress on the Republican ticket, won a district a few elections ago. And you see all the red in rural Illinois.
We're not going to save the planet until we save ourselves. And if we can't. I will grieve for my daughters, for I will have made a choice to bring them into this fucked up world. Of that I am guilty.
So I have to survive, and provide hope and confidence, despite the despair that wants to arise in me. I am empowered by knowing I am on the right side of this, live or die. I cannot sacrifice my daughters to the planet's woe. I have to build them up.