Well, THAT was an enlightening and horrifying conversation... [View all]

[PCIntern]

Huge man, my last patient of the day yesterday (Thursday), black guy, basso profundo voice, dominant personality, disruptive: he screams the Eagles fight song every time he sees me because I was at one time one of the official dentists of the team, and an aggressive fist bump maybe six or seven times a visit.

This, believe it or not, is not a rare thing in dentist’s offices and it’s basically business as usual. However…

For background, the only Democrats in the whole office are the owner/dentist, his wife, and I. The entire staff are Trump all the way. It’s revolting but it’s South Jersey -Trump Country as my neighbors’ signs say loudly.

So this guy and my assistant are having a conversation when I entered the room and I hear her say ”I love Trump” followed by the gentleman bellowing , “He is my MAN. He’s gonna do it for us.” I smiled, “What’s he going to do for you?” His response, “He’s got it going on , he’s my MAN!!!”

My response, “He sure does.” Then we got down to business: “you’re sitting in my chair, you get the big one in the middle of the room.”

“No…I’m just here to talk today.”

Uh-oh. I can’t even guess…

He continued, “ I bought veneers from Amazon which are coming in on Saturday. I want you to put them on for me.” He showed me the photo from Amazon.

“So one size fits all, eh? Are you going to wear her color lipstick? Because her teeth are like half the size of yours. And which shade did you order…you have no yellow in your teeth, indicating that you may have some Native American background, so standard shades aren’t great for you .”

He looked dumbfounded. I continued, “You know, you Trump people think you’ve got the jump on everything and everyone because you believe that there’s nothing to know about any business or profession AND you can bully your way through everything. I’ll put those veneers or whatever the eff they are on for you and it’s a shame that Halloween is over because you could’ve gone out as a Martian.”.
No response. “I’ll fit these for you and I’ll cement them if you want. But like your choice of Trump, whatever then happens is all on you. Don’t you ever, EVER, come in here and complain, got it?”

“Yeah.” Deflated.

I then finished with , “Cheer up, you’re gonna be fine because your boy Trump does not sexually abuse black women so your family’s going to be ok.” As far as your teeth go, well, they’re your personal version of January the Sixth. See you next week.”

I just walked out of the room, put on my jacket, and drove home to sanity. Tired of this shit.