in an attempt to soothe my soul (when i was a teenager) my mother used to say

[Hekate]

13. Every year in December I re-read a book by Terry Pratchett called Hogfather...

Sir Terry wrote fantasy — and he was a deeply wise observer of humanity and its condition. Please bear with me. I’m sorry for the long intro, but without it the quote from the book wouldn’t make as much sense.

On the Discworld, Death is an anthropomorphic personification. He speaks in all caps. He’s been around at least as long as humans have, and as humans have imagined him into being (skeleton, black robes, scythe) he has taken to wondering what we humans really are. He bears us no ill-will — he just has a job to do.

The Hogfather, rather like Santa in that he was once a midwinter solar god whose job description gradually changed into a bringer of gifts for children, drives a sleigh powered by 4 boars: Tusker, Snouter, Gouger, and Rooter. Children leave him pork pies, sherry, and turnips for the pigs. He disappears — he’s dead — the balance of belief is badly out of whack. Death takes up the job for the long Solstice night, and forbids his granddaughter Susan from interfering, knowing that she will. Part of the job can only be done by humans, and she is, mostly.

At the end of the book, the Hogfather has been saved. Susan, exhausted and furious, verbally savages her granddad — and here we come in, you and me and your Mom who loved you even when you were a heartbroken teenager who yelled at her.

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“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."



REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.



"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"



YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.



"So we can believe the big ones?"



YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.



“They're not the same at all!"



YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.



“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"



MY POINT EXACTLY.
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Justice and Mercy and all the things our hearts are breaking for here at the end of December 2024 — we have to imagine them into being, we have to create them ourselves, we have to believe in them before they can become.

And to all a good night.