If you haven’t learned something about painting from what only you believe are failures then you aren’t capitalizing on one of the most powerful ways to learn.
Acknowledging that your failures are your best teacher is to be open to exploring and growing. It is to be fearless in your journey. Otherwise you just run around being fearful and only staying in your proven comfort zone. Artists should never stay stuck. Especially when they FEEL stuck.
I know you want to let yourself explore spontaneity and wildness because you told me so. Maybe that side of you is trying to manifest in these paintings.
In the last painting with what looks like a wicker armchair you have done some really interesting things. It reminds me strongly of Matisse’s paintings because of the way you are treating all the edges of your canvas. Everything except the armchair is a view of a partial depiction of a larger room. And your attention to all the squares and rectangles running off the page and back onto the page is beautiful, architectural, and in sharp contrast to the rounded gracefulness of the armchair and it’s shadow. The viewer’s eye is invited to travel all around the scene by being guided by the dynamic composition. The chair is dead center on the page, holding its own among all the strong rectangles around it. I think your subconscious is doing the very thing you wanted. Trying to break your self imposed rules. The way I see it this painting works very well. Does it need work? Yes. I urge you to take another look at it, taking into account that it has something to teach you. Don’t worry about “fixing“ it. You have many blank canvases waiting.
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