My economic life has become a sinking ship.... [View all]

[citizen blues]

I'm a college level instructor - yes, an adjunct.

I have a Masters Degree and have had four teaching jobs in the last year. I also took a temporary job working weekends processing applications for the ACA just to make ends meet.

My choices are: a private (for profit) school where I will work way too many hours for crap pay or a public community college or university where I will work way too few hours for decent pay.

Neither is enough for me to pay my bills and I'm running out of things to sell.

Now, I have a job that was supposed to be a good one: eligible for benefits, relatively stable, etc. So I put my house on the market to relocate to be closer to that job. Then last month and this month, my new job cut my regular hours in half and had me substituting instead, but it was not enough hours to make up the hours I had lost.

So here I am sinking financially. I'm late on the mortgage and negotiating a forbearance with my bank. The student loans I have coming due will need to be put in forbearance as well. My credit cards are late, and my daughters are sending me money. Since this new job is far from my home, friends are letting me stay with them so I can afford the gas to go to work.

I feel so ashamed! I thought being educated, having a good education would mean something. It doesn't. I feel so betrayed - so lied to. I was just another sucker for the university to reel in and convince to hock my future to line their pockets.

I'm tired of the stress. I'm tired of wondering what my future will bring. I'm tired of watching my dreams turn to ash. I had hope - at one time, I had hope. It's running mighty thin these days. I'm just not sure what else to do. I'm reaching the point of exhaustion and just don't know where to turn anymore. The worst part, the absolute worst part of it is the guilt for not being able to give my students my best because I'm having to put so much energy into figuring out how I'm going to make it through another month.

Sorry for the rant. Just needed to vent.