Although I understand chronic pain, it was manageable for years, and so the depression was either on the periphery or non-existent. But the 8-10 week period where I was just in gut-wrenching pain changed the paradigm. I sunk into a very dark place, there were even moments I wished I was single without kids so I could just swallow one of my bottles of pills and not leave misery in my wake. And from what you're describing, what I dealt with wasn't even in the same zip code as what you're up against. I am so sorry, and humbled that you seem to be dealing with it better than I. I think it was my fear of the "new normal," that I'd never be without pain, unable to sit, bend over, or live normally, that caused me to react so badly.
I told my wife my feelings, and I said "you have been such a help to me, it makes me sad that there are single people who are dirt poor and/or have no support group that have to deal with stuff like this, how on earth do they cope." She said "they self-medicate with anything they can get their hands on, they get worse, and they die." I suppose she's right. If I didn't have pain meds during that period, would I have stolen some given an opportunity? I'm not sure but I think I know the answer and it shames me. We need health care for *everyone*.
Thanks again for explaining those two things. Sending healing vibes and positive thoughts your way. 
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