This is supposed to be an important post, [View all]

[murielm99]

due to its number. Maybe I should not overshare, but I am terrified.

I have lung cancer. Yes, I smoked for most of my adult life. I have quit many times, unsuccessfully. I swear it is hard because there is another smoker in the house. When I decide to cheat, I just reach out for my hubby's pack of smokes.

Please send prayers, healing vibes, whatever you think will help. I have a great deal of guilt and fear.

I have a couple of other medical problems that may or may not be connected to this, I don't know.

I fell on August 8 and had a brain bleed. I got up in the night to use the bathroom. There are boxes and bags strewn around our house because the kitchen and laundry room are being remodeled. I ended up in the hospital for five days. I had already had the CT scan, where they found the lung mass. They did not schedule me to go back until 9/7. I will find out then if this is malignant, I think.

A whole month! That terrifies me. Maybe I am too far gone to be helped. I am 74. The mass is greater than 8mm and is a solitary pulmonary module.

Maybe 74 is too old to ask for help.

I am also being scanned for compression fractures to my spine. I have osteoporosis. This is the third time I have had compression fractures. I hope the cancer has not metastasized to my spine. I picked up a microwave and carried it back to the kitchen because my husband would not help. It was too much for my back. He cooperates when he feels like it.

I will not know results until 9/13. That is a long time.

I will keep you posted. I am only asking for support, not medical advice. I am sure I will have all sorts of doctors weighing in.

If I sound critical of my husband, well, I know he is in shock, too. He does not know how to react.