Mother called yesterday. I did send a card. She asked why I wasn't calling. I told her about the funeral behavior of my

[moniss]

16. Sorry that you go through this

and the toxicity of family members who behave in this way gets magnified at times like funerals. Yes unfortunately I know from experience how that can go. I had an aunt who was this way and failed to come to her brother's (my Dad) funeral because she claimed she twisted her ankle. People in wheelchairs come to funerals. Years later she and her daughter swore up and down that she was there. When my mother was to be buried, my sister sent word through the estate attorney that she would not attend because she "hurt her ankle". We will not speak again. Some things in life and some people we have to let go from our lives.

When I first heard the phrase "you would be better off thinking of yourself as an orphan" I had no idea what that meant. Many years later I do know. It is not easy to let go to that extent but it is sometimes better for us. If situations were going to change or improve they would have after awhile. But when it goes on for years to them you are just like the ball on the end of a string for someone to bat around and come springing back. The worst of it is also that the longer we hang in there with them it requires our spouses etc. to have it affect them also and that ends up taking from the happiness for both of you.

Good luck to you debm55 I enjoy your posts and can tell you are a caring person.