need advice, not sure where to post this [View all]

[Soylent Brice]

ok

so, i am divorced, single dad.

i found out last year that i have glaucoma.
then i went in for kidney stones last tuesday.

the catscan, (CT scan?) revealed i have nodules on the bottom of my lungs.
i know, don't panic, etc.
well, in this case, i think i should be panicking, long story short.

so, now i'm trying to quit smoking.
it's not going well

trying the e-cigarette.
not the same.

short fuse. frustration, anger. no patience.
those adjectives are completely antithetical to me as a person.
i'm known for my ridiculously too long of a fuse.
if that's even grammatically correct

i digress.

to the point:

how the fuck do people quit smoking?

seriously. i don't have a clue how in the world people have done this.
i know this sounds extremely weak and pathetic but just fuck. i mean, really.

i would go to a doctor for help but i am an IT contractor, no health insurance.
so that's a no go.

i just feel hopeless. of all the crazy shit i've overcome, of all the shit i've beaten, and this is what brings me to my knees.



tips, reading info, anything but prayers.

i'm all ears.



on edit: this is my 2nd serious attempt at quitting. tried a while back. totally bombed.
figured i was young, i'd have another shot. i don't trust myself to not cheat and sneak smoking still.
just throwing that out there. not sure if anyone else can relate. i just know of all the things in the world this is one that i have no willpower with.