I always wanted to find me a shield-maiden of my own.
Ah, the 'perfect' woman for me (all women are perfect but not all women are perfect in a way so as to put up with me)
A fiery red-head
Beautiful Green eyes (Alright, green contacts will work)
On the large side of being petite
Smarter than me (on many days of late, this would include 98% of all women...alright, 99.999%)
A sense of humor as debauched as mine
Able to swing a blade such that we can go a Viking together! (This one is important)
Loves the cold 
Finally, it would be totally awesome if she also had wolf/fox ears and a tail. 
(Sorry, I couldn't help adding this one 
)
(Ok, so she's blonde, that's fine.) 
Note: Things like cooking and cleaning etc are not included in the list. That is a mutual thing. I never believed in that 'Women belong in the kitchen' crap.
Besides, I like cooking. I make a coquille st. Jacques to die for. 
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