Let's collect and report our Neptune/Chiron/Pisces experiences this week here

[icymist]

16. And yet I still feel I need to be refined.

What I did the other night, it's my job. It's what I do. This is only the second time I needed to do all out CPR in the past (almost) 21 years of nursing. Needless to say that my adrenilan had me up longer that I needed to be that day. Today, I'm just questioning everything. Why me? Is this guy going to make it without brain damage? (I just know that he has broken ribs after seeing how the paramedics handled this) then going home to my roommates, one, an unemployed man since Sept of last year who just lays around in his underwear most of the day (in his bed) and his wife who allows this. I don't know. I just may not understand life and have to move somewhere else. (I got close to this last September only to have an event put ME in the hosiptal. I had what I thought was a stroke, but it turned out to something called a complex migirane. I call it my three thousand dollar headache!) Anyway, I have recovered most of that (near four thousand) and vow that when I hit five thousand, I'm moving! Oh, that might have been too much too soon. What am I thinking? There is no real need to applude me for doing my job. What can I say? It's what I do.