Most everything that is going on now is because of Neptune and Chiron

[mntleo2]

73. Thank-you! That means a lot to me ...

I am not sure about the astrological stuff, I follow it, but never understood it, however I DO understand the disrespect. In spite of being Leo, I am not that into "pride" stuff, meaning whenever anyone was "disrespectful" it amused me more than hurt or made me mad. I think disrespect is something about the other person, not me as they usually need to put someone down in order to raise themselves up. A long time ago, someone told me that I had more Cancer in me than Leo because I am just a week into Leo at birth, but I am not sure what that means about disrespect and Leo stuff, either, lol.

But as I was writing this, I stopped and went out and stood on the deck for a few minutes, thinking about what you said. It is early morning here and the birds are singing, the sun is just beginning to lighten the sky. The smells of spring is incredible and as I stood there a thought came into my heart: "Lack of respect may not affect you Cat, but humiliation. especially unearned humiliation, now that does hurt you deeply ..." I then realized that this kind of disrespect indeed may be something about what you said.

So I hope the following helps your Work as hearing the story behind what you say might help you with others: There are so many levels to this, forgive me for being so wordy ...they do not call ME "Chatty Cathy" for nuttin'! Still maybe it will help with others with whom you do such wonderful Work:

Because of this humiliation, beginning a few years ago I went on a tear as a lifelong activist. After what happened to me, I had begun a crusade of sorts in my state over this issue. Now I want to make it clear, I am a nobody, I am not a "VIP' or anything. As a matter I am a former welfare mom with a background in McJobs and usually, it is about standing for these moms that is a large part of my Work, it is about standing for the next generations struggling as I have. Usually people like me standing in the Legislature and speaking to policy makers, we are not heard, we are (behind closed doors) ridiculed and minimized. But one thing they can say about me no matter how much they want to minimize things, I am an amateur wonk, I do my homework and they can "pshaw" all they want, but I don't care if they "pshaw", I KNOW when I am right ~ they just do not want to hear it is all.

So last week I was in a meeting about the issue that hurt me so badly (and it also hurt another I loved so much I will never see again). There were a lot of high level Suits in the room who had treated me as if I were a kook when I first began this "tear" and now they are saying the same things I was trying to tell them a few years ago! I am not just trying to give myself this credit, it was a group of people I joined with who worked their asses off too ~ many of them former political "enemies" of mine (Tea Partiers and Libertarians, lol) ~ but in that room most of the the Suits were people who were my political allies as a lifelong Democrat.

Living in poverty is a real practice in living under constant disrespect, I can guarantee that. From years of speaking to poverty I do not expect to be heard much whenever I meet with The Powers That Be. But the issue I was speaking to in this room with those Suits WAS heard and while it also involved the Work I have always done, it also involved upper income people as well. I have been speaking to my "political enemies" too and telling them in essence, "What happens to the least of us, happens to all of us ..."

I am not trying to be egotistical here, but since that meeting I realized how much of a bridge I have been for the issue I was fighting for ~ and who knows what else in the future? I will never get any credit for this and this does not bother me, many others did the Work not just me, let them take the credit. What did make me proud is that invisible as I am, I DID make a BIG difference that I did not expect to even see in my lifetime. Not only did I see great progress in the issue I was fighting for, I was a "bridge" between some large canyons between political and policy-making people.

ROAR!!!!!!!

So as I stood out there on the back porch this morning, I realized humiliation (especially when it is uncalled for) does hurt me beyond deeply and for a Leo, this just ain't cool! It can hurt me enough to make ripples I could never imagine ... As I write this I am now seeing while I have done some good things because of it, it is time to take care of the bad things that are weighing down my heart. Those bad things are more personal as it involved close family members who do not understand what they did (though as well as they know me I think they should have known). I may never see them again either, but I can still forgive ...I think I am now ready to take that l-o-n-g road.

So thank-you for your kind words, Dear. I also think I will go back and read some of the stuff I can find on A Course in Miracles, I forgot about that and I think I forgot about a lot of what they said (I do not understand what you meant with that statement you made, I maybe I will when I refresh). Please feel free to use this if you need to in your work, I think it is always good when I get to be used as a "poster child", lol.

Love and extremely grateful,

Cat in Seattle