and appealed to people's hearts--IF they wanted to stay friends/close--there are PLENTY of other things to talk about. Saying, "Let's be adults about this, and stay civil to each other." Ask them if they really care about you--say you miss them a lot.
It worked with most people, not all of them--and EVERY time they start talking about those subjects, I get up and leave the room, change the subject (as polite as possible) or beg out of the event. I always tell them I am glad to see them, compliment their cooking, garden--really engage them in other subjects. Talk about old memories--anything they are interested in.
I think this is really the only way mixed company can socialize. Learning how to change the subject in a calm way--it's like training a child, really. It does not work with everyone, but I have saved many relationships this way 
I am getting/reading everywhere that in order to heal relationships, WE are the ones who have to extend compassion. To me this means that it is up to us (ones who are awake) to calm people down, to heal the rift--and the way to start is in our own families and friendships. My experience so far is NOT to engage in ANY divisive conversation but use positive and negative reinforcement, as if with children, to help people remember how to be civil.
This takes dedication, patience, and consistency--the very same things that are needed when raising children--because people have forgotten how, or need to learn for the first time--HOW to be socialized.
Good luck!!!
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