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OneGrassRoot

(23,410 posts)
26. Like so many things, I think it's semantics, kentauros...
Thu Jul 19, 2012, 07:43 PM
Jul 2012

I ask for your patience ahead of time; I'm sure this is going to be awkward as I try to explain my perception of this topic. (I suddenly feel awkward and clumsy about everything...lol.)

Certainly the main point is very obvious, and with which you agree: Ideally, we would heal the systems which lead to and perpetuate poverty. THAT is the ideal and goal and we should always have social justice as our goal.

But, as you said, in the meantime, people are suffering.

(I know what I'm saying here you know already, but in case someone is reading who hasn't thought about this before, I'll elaborate as best I can.)

For many -- especially those who have been the recipients of assistance -- the term "charity" in and of itself has begun to trigger a knee-jerk cringing response. Much of it has to do with the intention of the person offering aid. Do they look down upon the person they're assisting as "less than" in some way, even subconsciously? Do they expect something of the person they are aiding?

If someone is hungry or their child is hungry and they need a place to sleep, if a faith-based organization requires they pray with them first, chances are they're going to do it, even if they're atheist. The faith-based initiatives are often the most widely available and effective, but some (certainly not all) require participation in their religion in some way before they'll give the help offered.

The point bobbolink was often trying to make is that in many cases, the assistance offered is done to assuage the ego/conscience of the person helping, much more than to help the recipient. As in the faith-based initiative example, help is help, especially in dire situations, yet the situation isn't one of equality and certainly isn't healing. There is an inequality, a power dynamic involved.

This is one of my favorite graphics which, to me, explains the subtle differences involved, and it has to do with intention.



Here is an excerpt of a really good essay about this topic. I encourage you to follow the link to read the whole thing. I think it's very powerful.

"Helping incurs debt. When you help someone, they owe you one. But serving, like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am serving. When I help, I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve, I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.

Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person, I perceive them as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I fix, I do not see the wholeness in the other person or trust the integrity of the life in them. When I serve, I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am responding to and collaborating with."

http://www.infj.com/ServingVsHelping.htm



You're too kind! I think people who lack compassion should be pushed out snappyturtle Jul 2012 #1
LOL! No, no, it's fine. Believe me, I hear you... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #2
I hope you're right! nt snappyturtle Jul 2012 #3
Don't feel bad, snappyturtle. I'm in a funk today too. Been there for a couple of weeks, calimary Jul 2012 #52
Thank you....now I don't feel so alone with my thoughts! snappyturtle Jul 2012 #53
Let them be where they are Ricochet21 Jul 2012 #4
I can reach out and extend an invitation to see things differently... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #5
+1000 DeSwiss Jul 2012 #18
I surely didn't always feel this way, kimmerspixelated Jul 2012 #6
What's strange that I see get the red out Jul 2012 #7
I need to study Clinton then... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #8
Well, then I'm an expert get the red out Jul 2012 #11
Nice :) OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #12
I came up with a few loaded words get the red out Jul 2012 #15
dang... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #16
Are you equally tolerant of these words: Fruit of Islam Jul 2012 #17
Wow! A troll on ASAH? Kookaburra Jul 2012 #19
Post removed Post removed Jul 2012 #20
Both of those accounts was the same repeat troll (Islam and icke.) Ruby the Liberal Jul 2012 #22
LOL OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #23
I would LOL if your reaction down is up Jul 2012 #40
Please keep in mind... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #42
Post removed Post removed Jul 2012 #47
See, I just learned something... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #48
And I learned something, as well... japa beads jamie Jul 2012 #49
Dude, I am watching you icymist Jul 2012 #51
And what is that supposed to mean? Sadge Sun-tastic Jul 2012 #61
Any other questions? icymist Jul 2012 #64
I have one! Pick me!!! davsand Jul 2012 #65
Yes. eager beaver. Jul 2012 #66
This guy keeps reincarnating as another name only! icymist Jul 2012 #50
That's a hoot! Kookaburra Jul 2012 #25
Definitely weird! kimmerspixelated Jul 2012 #28
I just got back on here get the red out Jul 2012 #37
I don't know if this troll was a conservative or not, kentauros Jul 2012 #39
Funny how quick you are to label someone... lightworker at work Jul 2012 #45
The troll-label is appropriate. kentauros Jul 2012 #54
Just because I have a low post count Sadge Sun-tastic Jul 2012 #60
A low post count can contribute to the troll-label. kentauros Jul 2012 #62
Sorry, I'm married to a Republican get the red out Jul 2012 #56
Why in heavens would my post violate you? down is up Jul 2012 #41
Yes, why? get the red out Jul 2012 #35
Public transportation??? OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #27
I can think of at least two reasons for why they'd dislike public transportation. kentauros Jul 2012 #31
racism and classism get the red out Jul 2012 #36
Unreal.... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #43
For language, you could also look at George Lakoff bigmonkey Jul 2012 #63
If you're talking about our fellow Liberals, kentauros Jul 2012 #9
Oh, yes, there have been many conversations here at DU.... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #14
Like so many things, I think it's semantics, kentauros... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #26
Maybe I'm just too tired to read (and comprehend) kentauros Jul 2012 #29
I haven't seen help refused very often... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #30
I think we're both trying to get to the foundation of it, kentauros Jul 2012 #32
Well said, kentauros.... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #34
"I have to wonder if any of them other than the TROLLS read us" lightworker at work Jul 2012 #46
"Repeat offenders" such as yourself, kentauros Jul 2012 #55
I bet I know why that view exists from an "emotional" standpoint get the red out Jul 2012 #57
Just yesterday I listened to one of Alan Cohen's recent shows. kentauros Jul 2012 #58
I agree with you completely get the red out Jul 2012 #59
I think of it as kinda like not being able to hear a dog whistle. davsand Jul 2012 #10
Wow, that is powerful... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #13
We are living in the age of manufactured consent that reaches people via emotions, not fact. mother earth Jul 2012 #21
.... OneGrassRoot Jul 2012 #24
Never underestimate the evil that exists. If there truly is a shift, it will come about because mother earth Jul 2012 #33
Manipulation get the red out Jul 2012 #38
I find that I just laugh at them. BlueToTheBone Jul 2012 #44
sowing seeds of love needs the soil of a receptive heart NuttyFluffers Aug 2012 #67
... OneGrassRoot Aug 2012 #68
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