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Bereavement

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no_hypocrisy

(49,211 posts)
Sun Sep 3, 2017, 12:45 PM Sep 2017

Labor Day 2017. My ex-boss died this morning. [View all]

Tragic on so many levels. ALS-related condition where he started losing his balance a few years ago, lost his ability to use his fingers, and finally today, lost his ability to breathe which led to his heart stopping. His 74th birthday would have been next week.

As most human beings, he was complicated. He could be one of the sweetest guys, a mensch. Patient, articulate, a good listener, wise, funny. Also he could get unduly nervous and could start shouting out of that fear.

He was an attorney. In NJ, Thompson Reuters has a few designated individuals deemed "Super Lawyers". He was one of them. One of his most famous clients was Madelyn Murray O'Hare. He successfully defended middle-school boys who were suspended from school because they wore buttons that said "No Uniforms!" superimposed on a photo of Hitler Youth. (That made the International Herald Tribune.)

His partner, Karin, died only six years ago from a glioblastoma, a deadly form of brain cancer.

My boss was a true mentor to me. He literally taught me how to be a competent attorney, let alone an attorney. He knew the NJ Court Rules backwards and forwards, always getting the numbers correct. He was fair as an adversary. If the opposing attorney called him, asking for an extension to file a brief or a motion, my boss would give it to him/her as a courtesy. And he was a legal scholar when he wrote his briefs, the law impeccably cited, the arguments tight and cogent. He kept my feet on the ground and never hesitated to correct my errors.

Having a law firm in an office with 2-3 other attorneys meant we had a birthday party for somebody nearly once a month, making us like a family.

He had his share of personal tragedies and disappointments and yet he slogged on with his shoulders stooped a little more every day.

He finally was compelled to sell his practice two months ago. And now he's gone. He hung on as long as he could.

He went into a nursing home early in August. I visited him there. He had difficulty talking and feeding himself, so I fed him. My last visit was exactly a week ago. I may have been in denial, but I thought his condition could be managed, like Stephen Hawking.

I buried another ex-boss two months before my father died three years ago. Another mentor.

But this is different. Knowing this man was a life-changing experience.

Sigh! He spoiled me for future employment.

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