welp, my sister is in hospice. [View all]

[mopinko]

she has ms and has spent the last decade in a nursing home.
she is unable to swallow, and is now suffering from malnutrition. her cognitive function has pretty much totally failed.
she came down w a serious infection, dont know what sort. she was moved to the hospital, and her family decided it was time. she either needed a permanent ng tube, w no hope that it was really going to improve things, or it was time for hospice.

going out to see her today. she is an hour and a half w/o traffic away. i confess i have not made that trek often enough. it is really hard for me. we are peas in a pod. it is like looking into a mirror for me. so very difficult.

nobody wants the "life" she has had for the last decade. i know we are all relieved that she will soon suffer no more.
this is the first of the siblings to go. of the 7 of us, most are in good health and active. i am the 6th, so i know this will not be the last one to go before me.

she was someone who had great promise, smart and a wonderful artist. between the chains of motherhood, and this stupid disease, she has been robbed of much.
i dont believe in any kind of afterlife, so i do not have that comfort. but i do know that sometimes life is so awful that the alternative is preferable. this is one of those times.