Bereavement

dlk

(12,468 posts)

51. I'm very sorry for your double loss

Reply to Dark n Stormy Knight (Original post)

Sat Jan 2, 2021, 09:10 PM

Jan 2021

Family relationships are complicated. During the holidays, even under normal circumstances, they can be very challenging. Added to that everything else that is happening with Covid, with the political situation, and so forth, no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed! I’m especially sorry for what you went through with your brother and how his death impacts your memories and feelings. Please know that whatever you may be feeling now is okay, despite how your other family members may have behaved (either well-intentioned or ill-intentioned). This is a time to be gentle with yourself and I wish peace and comfort for you.

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Sudden death of my brother, 2 months after my father died of pancreatic cancer [View all] Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 OP

Sorry for your losses.....it must be surreal for you. nt OAITW r.2.0 Jan 2021 #1

Thank you. And yes, that's a great word for how it feels. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #6

I'm so sorry mzmolly Jan 2021 #2

I'm very sorry for your loss. MontanaMama Jan 2021 #3

My aunt walk away from me two decades ago because of something I said, that I cannot believe LizBeth Jan 2021 #4

I'm sorry for your loss and that you had to deal with that difficult decision Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #10

Right back at you. LizBeth Jan 2021 #13

Wow. Just... wow. dixiechiken1 Jan 2021 #5

Sometimes when I don't know what to say, I just give up trying Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #8

Oh my God, Dark n Stormy Knight! I am so very sorry for the loss of your brother and father! LaMouffette Jan 2021 #7

Thank you for the kind words. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #15

No need to apologize! I was brought up to be Catholic, too, but it just didn't "take." LaMouffette Jan 2021 #24

Good old Bill Maher. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #32

You're more than welcome! LaMouffette Jan 2021 #43

I'm so sorry Clash City Rocker Jan 2021 #9

Thanks, Clash. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #11

Family... they'll drive you crazy! The widow's behavior was wrong on every imaginable level. The Karadeniz Jan 2021 #12

Thank you, Karadeniz. In many ways you and I are on the same page about all this. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #20

Your mother might provide the motivation for the whole clan to get together amicably... sounds Karadeniz Jan 2021 #23

It's funny you should say that, because that's not at all how her daughters see her. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #35

Well, you know how to pick'em! I really don't know why some people have children if they don't want Karadeniz Jan 2021 #57

I am so sorry iamateacher Jan 2021 #14

I am sorry for you losses. Chainfire Jan 2021 #16

Thank your, Chainfire. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #31

So Faux pas Jan 2021 #17

Faux pas, thank you for your kind reply. I too was the "odd one out" all though my life, Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #22

Sometimes these surprises Turbineguy Jan 2021 #18

I am so sorry UpInArms Jan 2021 #19

Reading this, and your brother's outreach on Christmas Eve impresses to me that your Sister-On-Law TheBlackAdder Jan 2021 #21

Adder, I love that you are thinking deeply about the family dynamics Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #26

That was worse than I thought. TheBlackAdder Jan 2021 #34

I have spent more money on therapists in my life than I care to recall. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #39

People can say some really shitty things after a death, and I'm so... 3catwoman3 Jan 2021 #25

Catwoman, thank you for sharing your experience and for your kind and suportive words. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #29

I'm so sorry... CaptainTruth Jan 2021 #27

So sorry to hear of the situation with siblings... 2naSalit Jan 2021 #28

I'm so sorry, DnSK. area51 Jan 2021 #30

Regardless of what has happened before, you are allowed to feel what you feel. TNNurse Jan 2021 #33

I am sorry you've lost not only your Dad recently, but now also your brother. Fla Dem Jan 2021 #36

Hey Fla, I appreciate your percpetion. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #49

I certainly didn't want to come across as if I had any real understanding Fla Dem Jan 2021 #55

Boundaries, clarity and self compassion. If you can get yourself to focus, the meditation could be JudyM Jan 2021 #56

Sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. You have a right to your feelings. 58Sunliner Jan 2021 #37

Thank you. I know that that means I also have to understand that others have that same right. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #40

Sounds like some of your family doesn't give you the same respect. 58Sunliner Jan 2021 #44

I am sorry for your loss irisblue Jan 2021 #38

I'm so sorry. cate94 Jan 2021 #41

Condolences on the loss of your brother. gademocrat7 Jan 2021 #42

You are experiencing "complex grief" / unresolved issues SheltieLover Jan 2021 #45

I appreciate your reply and suggestions. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #50

You are most welcome SheltieLover Jan 2021 #54

i'm so sorry. barbtries Jan 2021 #46

Barbrires, I am touched by and grateful for your reply. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #52

I am so sorry that you lost your father and brother so tragically and in such a short Tanuki Jan 2021 #47

I'm so sorry. Duppers Jan 2021 #48

I'm very sorry for your double loss dlk Jan 2021 #51

This sounds exceptionally toxic! SheltieLover Jan 2021 #53

In case anyone sees this, I checked in here, but then realized it's not a good idea at the moment. Dark n Stormy Knight Jan 2021 #58