Bereavement

momta

(4,115 posts)

56. I'm a member of the "The Bekah Church..." too.

Mon Jul 19, 2021, 10:26 AM

Jul 2021

My mom died of cancer when I was sixteen, and I still dream about her, almost 42 years later. Sometimes when I get a slight muscle twitch, the kind that doesn't hurt, it feels like her tapping me on the shoulder, or knee, or whatever.

It was years before I realized that while my pain was immense, my grandmother's pain (her mom, who sat by her side and was with her when she died), was vastly greater. Not that it was a contest.

Take care of yourself today. I'm an atheist too, but I somehow know that my mom is still with me, and Bekah is still with you. They have to be.

Peace, barbtries. Peace and love.

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My daughter died 20 years ago today. [View all] barbtries Jul 2021 OP

What a terrible milestone to have to mark bottomofthehill Jul 2021 #1

Thank you bottomofthehill. barbtries Jul 2021 #3

She was a beautiful young lady. Peace be with you. Fla Dem Jul 2021 #17

thank you Fla Dem barbtries Jul 2021 #36

Your love for Bekah throbs in every word of your post. Take care of yourself. She'd want that. nt Atticus Jul 2021 #2

Thank you Atticus. barbtries Jul 2021 #4

Beautiful, beautiful Bekah. MLAA Jul 2021 #14

thank you. barbtries Jul 2021 #15

I cannot imagine your pain UpInArms Jul 2021 #5

thank you UpInArms barbtries Jul 2021 #18

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss SheltieLover Jul 2021 #6

I am so sorry SheltieLover barbtries Jul 2021 #20

Ty, Barb SheltieLover Jul 2021 #23

A lovely photo, she is beautiful. Croney Jul 2021 #7

Croney, barbtries Jul 2021 #21

As did I Jilly_in_VA Jul 2021 #45

oh Jilly. barbtries Jul 2021 #51

Well Jilly_in_VA Jul 2021 #53

yes. barbtries Jul 2021 #57

the hardest thing known to womankind. mopinko Jul 2021 #8

Thank you mopinko. barbtries Jul 2021 #22

there's a meme out there about kurt vonnegut and his fave uncle. mopinko Jul 2021 #29

it does matter. barbtries Jul 2021 #39

🕯 blm Jul 2021 #9

There is no heartbreak more devastating. quaint Jul 2021 #10

so true. barbtries Jul 2021 #27

... 2naSalit Jul 2021 #11

I cannot imagine what you have and continue to go through. I am sending you love. MLAA Jul 2021 #12

I feel the love. barbtries Jul 2021 #28

May her memory be a blessing. TheRickles Jul 2021 #13

thank you TheRickles barbtries Jul 2021 #30

She was beautiful. AmBlue Jul 2021 #79

My condolences YoshidaYui Jul 2021 #16

thank you YoshidaYui barbtries Jul 2021 #31

Still in Hospital YoshidaYui Jul 2021 #34

to you as well barbtries Jul 2021 #40

So sorry for your loss. Firestorm49 Jul 2021 #19

I'm so sorry LittleGirl Jul 2021 #24

thank you LittleGirl barbtries Jul 2021 #58

What a sad and yet beautiful post malaise Jul 2021 #25

Thank you Malaise! barbtries Jul 2021 #63

How horrific. Barb. I am so sorry that she was taken from you like that. I can't imagine life Evolve Dammit Jul 2021 #26

well, here's what I think NJCher Jul 2021 #32

I agree with you. barbtries Jul 2021 #44

I'm a member of the "The Bekah Church..." too. momta Jul 2021 #56

momta, thank you barbtries Jul 2021 #69

Condolences my friend FakeNoose Jul 2021 #33

thank you FakeNoose. barbtries Jul 2021 #46

Oh dear, MuseRider Jul 2021 #35

thank you MuseRider barbtries Jul 2021 #47

I'm so sorry! GPV Jul 2021 #37

thank you GPV. barbtries Jul 2021 #49

I'm so very sorry for your loss. yardwork Jul 2021 #38

thank you yardwork. barbtries Jul 2021 #50

You honor her memory with your courage. yardwork Jul 2021 #78

Haunting... Snackshack Jul 2021 #41

yes. that's the nature of this grief. barbtries Jul 2021 #54

(((hugs))) samnsara Jul 2021 #42

Thank you so much for these lovely pictures. colorado_ufo Jul 2021 #43

I'm so glad. barbtries Jul 2021 #64

I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your dear Bekkah. lark Jul 2021 #48

thank you lark barbtries Jul 2021 #65

I am thinking of you today MontanaMama Jul 2021 #52

thank you MontanaMama barbtries Jul 2021 #66

I am so very sorry Barbtries. lucca18 Jul 2021 #55

thank you! barbtries Jul 2021 #67

I believe what you said in your post is a poem already. llmart Jul 2021 #59

Thank you Ilmart barbtries Jul 2021 #68

What a poignant expression of a parent's grief PatSeg Jul 2021 #60

it really has. barbtries Jul 2021 #70

One of the things that really bothers me PatSeg Jul 2021 #73

I think barbtries Jul 2021 #76

I've spent many years working on our family tree PatSeg Jul 2021 #77

Losing a child is something hard to comprehend. panader0 Jul 2021 #61

thank you panader0 barbtries Jul 2021 #71

I can't imagine your pain cate94 Jul 2021 #62

I think you wrote a poem here, barbtries, and it's absolutely, poignantly beautiful. JudyM Jul 2021 #72

Thank you JudyM. barbtries Jul 2021 #75

I am so sorry that your beautiful Bekah mnhtnbb Jul 2021 #74

🕯 Duppers Jul 2021 #80

Deepest condolences for your heartbreaking loss. Dark n Stormy Knight Jul 2021 #81

Thank you for all of those wonderful pictures of your daughter. PoindexterOglethorpe Jul 2021 #82

I'm so sorry for your loss. barbtries Jul 2021 #83

No matter how it happens, it's devastating. PoindexterOglethorpe Jul 2021 #84