My son committed suicide 1/27--he was 25 years old

[hoosierspud]

65. I lost my younger brother to suicide.

He had one attempt, some in-patient therapy, and then disappeared about a year later. He was missing for 5 months over Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. They found his body in the river a few days after his birthday. The disappearance was its own special hell.

Parents have a really tough time with suicide of a child. Give yourself some time to grieve, however long it takes. After that, you might want to try a support group. I went to an in-person one and also subscribed to an online group, there are several if you google it. I was able to talk to people to understood and also to learn. It seems like such a senseless, violent act to survivors. As for not seeing the signs of severe depression, the sufferers are extremely good at covering it up. I read a magazine piece by William Styron who wrote "Sophie's Choice" and "Confessions of Nat Turner" and suffered from depression his whole life. He was at a dinner party with his wife and friends during a stretch of severe depression and was contemplating suicide during the dinner party. When he later told his wife and friends how he felt that evening, they were all shocked because he covered up his depression so well.

I think the most important thing I learned about suicide came second-hand from my online group. A young woman lost her brother to suicide. He had a good job and shared a home with his fiancee and their dog. He received a severe head injury in an auto accident caused by a driver who was texting while driving. Because of his brain injury, her brother lost his job, his fiancee, his home, and his dog. Her brother, like my brother, ended his life by jumping off a bridge. Shortly after his death, her family received a letter from a young woman that they didn't know. She wrote that she had heard about the death and felt compelled to write because a few months before, she was on the same bridge attempting to end her own life. At the last second, two men pulled her to safety and stayed with her until the first responders arrived. She said that she never found out who they were, they just disappeared, and for all she knew they could have been angels. She told the family that they probably were having a hard time understanding why a person would consider doing such a thing. She said that she was in such a dark place and in so much pain that ending her life seemed like the best option. She hoped that her letter could bring them some understanding and some peace. Her letter brought me some understanding and peace.