Is it normal to just want to sleep all the time? [View all]

[Wicked Blue]

I am mentally and emotionally worn out.

My brother died in mid-January. He was my only sibling and our parents died many years ago. Never married, no kids. He was 67. He was not in great health but I did not expect this.

He had two women living in his apartment to help with rent. Luckily they called 911 when he had trouble breathing. One called me on his cell phone -- I had no idea who these women were -- to let me know but was hysterical so a cop took over the phone and explained the situation.

I arranged for his cremation over the phone and email. Still waiting for his ashes. No cause of death yet - the medical examiner has a huge backlog and so does the lab.

He was always hitting me up for money, claiming he had no food left. It turned out he was not only getting paid $200-$300 a week plus a monthly sales commission at his job, plus collecting Social Security, plus having these roommates helping with rent, but he was also hitting up friends for money. One friend finally disclosed to me that he had never given up his cocaine habit, as he had sworn to me many years ago. I felt like I had been hit across the stomach with a wooden plank. Part of me is so damn angry at him.

Now his financial sob stories made sense and I feel like a complete fool. I knew he smoked a lot of weed as well as cigarettes, and I recently had told him he ought to cut down on tobacco as it was ridiculously expensive and not good for his health.

The "boyfriend" of one of the women contacted me about Pete's belongings. I can't drive well enough any more to drive 250 miles to Paterson NJ by myself. And I'm terrified to go there - there's a lot of violent crime. My husband couldn't take time off from work.

I told the guy they could keep or sell anything of my brothers but asked them to please mail me his personal papers and photos, and I would reimburse them. They sold his non-working car to salvage for a few hundred dollars, but my brother owned nothing of value to the best of my knowledge, just a disassembled motorcycle, and some crummy furniture and a tv, which they were welcome to. This saved me the nightmare of having to go there and clean the place out. Still haven't got his papers, but the guy texted that he'd been injured in a car accident a week ago and didn't have a car anymore.

Meanwhile our whole front yard is dug up to replace a badly eroded 50-plus year old sewer line. It's costing an insane amount of money. We can't do laundry and it's taking twice as long as they said, and a good part of my flower garden is destroyed, which depresses me even more.

And to my sorrow, someone I considered a long time close friend responded to my Facebook post about my brother with a short sympathetic reply and nothing more. No phone call, no email, nothing. I can't understand it and feel like maybe the few people I consider close friends aren't all as close as I thought they were. My husband and daughter have been great, but I've been taking long naps, even two a day, and never did that before. I just feel so lonely - my brother and I talked often and he always had a lot of great jokes.

I'm going to be 70 in a few weeks and I feel so old and tired. Everything seems futile.