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Hell Hath No Fury

(16,327 posts)
11. You hit a sore spot with that --
Mon Aug 25, 2014, 02:16 PM
Aug 2014

I have a very small family, my 2 older sisters took off as soon as they could and I was left caring for my Mom alone the past 30 years. The past ten years have been increasingly demanding, with her having serious ongoing health issues and now financial and emotional issues. I reach out continually to family members (there are only three in the picture) and get next to zero help. The sister who is still in the picture promised me years ago that I would not have to care for our Mom alone when the time came, but (after much denial) I now understand that her intention is to remain as far away and uninvolved as possible.

There are very few social services where Mom currently lives and she is stubborn about asking for/allowing help, to boot.

The pressure gets to me and effects my own health and life. I am starting to do some work on that with a professional, but I know that my responsibilities will only increase as time goes on and I fear the future. And I resent the shit out of my family for leaving me holding the Mom bag on my own.

I've got distant support. politicat Jun 2014 #1
I'm glad your situation is "reasonably manageable." Habibi Jun 2014 #2
Blog xecaps Oct 2014 #20
Are you saying that your state somehow pays for assisted living? I don't know what you mean pnwmom Oct 2014 #22
No, the state doesn't pay. We do. Her former state regs put her in LTC. politicat Oct 2014 #24
pretty much alone here Alameda Jun 2014 #3
Do you have any supportive resources? Habibi Jun 2014 #4
Resources for respite: politicat Jun 2014 #5
I think that "first rule of caregiving" is awesome and yet Habibi Jun 2014 #6
What xecaps Oct 2014 #23
Am I sure about what? Habibi Oct 2014 #25
Mostly alone alcina Jul 2014 #7
Vent away! and welcome! Habibi Jul 2014 #8
Thank you, Habibi alcina Jul 2014 #9
Isn't it, though? Habibi Jul 2014 #10
wow xecaps Oct 2014 #21
You hit a sore spot with that -- Hell Hath No Fury Aug 2014 #11
Ugh, I'm sorry for your situation. Habibi Aug 2014 #12
Thanks for the support -- Hell Hath No Fury Oct 2014 #13
Venting is good! Habibi Oct 2014 #15
I live with my grandson and his family. I also get help with some of my care. I get rides to health jwirr Oct 2014 #14
Very important to accept help Habibi Oct 2014 #16
I ended up placing her in a foster care home which I was fortunate enough to have trained myself. jwirr Oct 2014 #17
In so many cases Iwillnevergiveup Oct 2014 #18
I *do* have an Aunt nearby Aerows Oct 2014 #26
Going alone Aerows Oct 2014 #19
im alone... samnsara Apr 2017 #27
My brother lives in town, and recently retired, but... LudwigPastorius Mar 2022 #28
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