My husband collapsed and died tonight.

[soldierant]

250. My heart bleeds for you

so please don't think I ambeing dismissive when I say that your reactions sound completely normal.

NO one can - or should - kow how to feel in he face of sudden and unexpected death. And sometime those feelings would seem pretty weird to someone who doesn't get the concept of shock. My mother once told me about a woman who was hit by a car an had one or both legs broken - and was in inconsolable grief on account of a run in her stocking (yes, I'm old enough to remember stockings.) Her husband - my father - died on my fourth day of post=-natal existence. (I'm old enough that she was still in the hospital.) She told me her first reaction was that they wold not allow her out in time to attend the funeral (and she was correct - but felt guilty over what she considered the triviality of it.)

Please be kind to yourself. Glance up at the still-growing number of recommendatins to your post ans realize that every one is a heart which is with you. That the number of comments is smaller jsut means that some people don't know what to say or how to say it. (I'm ususally in that category myself.) But believe me, the love is there.