The stages of grief.....denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

[BluRay76]

17. I am definitely not going through them in order...

As I know is often the case. Honestly, there hasn't been much bargaining for me. Last night (and today), I found myself ricocheting among denial, anger, and depression. Today, those are all still there to some degree, but there's a bit less denial and a bit more of something like acceptance. I hesitate to call it acceptance... maybe a better word for what I'm feeling is "tolerance," given that acceptance implies some level of being on board with whatever is happening. Tolerance, to me, is more like the recognition that this is indeed the outcome - not intending to contest it, but also not on board with the outcome. I am still a bit stunned that this is reality, but I know all too well that it is.

I feel anger at my fellow Americans because TSF is really, really terrible and he is surrounding himself with people who are as bad or even worse - and they knew who he was and they voted for him anyway. I feel anger at my fellow Americans because it seems there was nothing Harris could have done that would have been enough. She addressed his (lack of) character, she addressed his past policy failures, she addressed his planned disastrous policies. She addressed her own background and character, her larger vision for this country, and her specific policies directed at economic issues as well as basic freedoms. She acknowledged the challenges people were facing and her plans to overcome those challenges. And still, people said they didn't know her. They needed to know what she stood for, even though she told them many times... and he never offered a single detailed policy position. He offered "tariffs," "mass deportation," and "dictator on day one."

I feel depression about the fact that there is such deeply ingrained racism and misogyny in this country - first, an eminently qualified woman with deep knowledge of foreign and domestic issues lost to a narcissistic, bigoted grifter who had never held elected office or even a real job, despite clear evidence that he was (at best) inappropriately involved with foreign adversaries and despite the fact that he had admitted to assaulting women. Then, eight years later, now a convicted felon 34 times over, with a history of inciting a violent insurrection and with his bigotry and hate now magnified by his cognitive decline, again managed to win an election against an eminently qualified woman who has served as vice president during a massive economic recovery after a global pandemic. I am incredibly sad that we were denied the incredible leadership that these women could have offered (and Elizabeth Warren, too, for that matter) because our misogyny blinds us to their qualifications.

I feel disgust that this is who we are as a country. That someone who is the absolute worst version of humanity could even be a contender, let alone someone that we allow to obtain unchecked power. Politicians and media enable him; certainly, some of them share his vile world view. A large portion of the electorate eagerly votes for him and cheers him on. An even larger portion can't bother to go fill out a damn ballot. Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if people actually do the work to get involved - learn about the policy positions of the candidates and truly think about what those policies mean for themselves and for our society as a whole, and vote accordingly. It only works if we actually hold our politicians to account and make them truly represent us. And it only works if both parties are willing to work together to find common ground and compromise. In that sense, our system of government has been broken for a long time, and all he has done is expand the deep cracks already in our foundation. They have played the long game at least since the Reagan days, and we never figured out how to combat it.

That's a whole lot of words, but what I mean to say is that we are all feeling some complex things, and some of us need to detach and rest for fights to come, some of us need to vent our anger, and some of us need to seek comfort in our like-minded communities, here and in our offline lives. Consider this my way of joining in on that online group hug, and saying that you are not alone. I see you, and I am with you, and I know many others are as well.