General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

221. that's kinda my point - universality

Tue Dec 31, 2013, 05:46 PM

Dec 2013

a universal perspective, that, you know, men can face some of the same crap too.

Unlike, you know, the guy in the video "this stuff doesn't happen to men" "that stuff doesn't happen to men".

The OP basically said "men don't have these problems"

and it was wrong.

I am personally thankful that I don't ride a bus or subway daily, otherwise I would probably have half a dozen male horror stories to tell from that experience.

One blogger told of a story of a group of youths pestering her and another male passenger who said something about it - after they were off the train. The fact of the matter is that the MALE was also scared of those thugs. Which is why he did NOT say anything while the harrassment was going on.

Here I binged a story about violence on the subway http://www.cbsnews.com/news/cbs-news-producer-victim-of-nyc-subway-assault/

And as for whether girls continue when they grow up. Well I happened to be bending over a railing, trying to sand and paint it when an elderly woman happened by and made some comment about my butt.

I took THAT as a compliment though.

If only she was 25 years younger...

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Male Privilege, helpfully explained by a white dude [View all] LeftyMom Dec 2013 OP

"I can walk down the street without hearing, "Hey! Nice Cock!" NYC_SKP Dec 2013 #1

Yeah, I didn't post it to start another fight, I posted it because maybe people will listen to a guy LeftyMom Dec 2013 #3

it's kinda funny hfojvt Dec 2013 #139

There's a big difference between teenagers saying their friend likes you and grown men shouting LeftyMom Dec 2013 #145

"Show me your p¤ssy." KitSileya Dec 2013 #147

it is not like this has not been told, repeatedly, by TOO many women. what is the need seabeyond Dec 2013 #150

I know, I know, and I should start to recognize which usernames show good faith KitSileya Dec 2013 #153

seems to me that it was post 147 hfojvt Dec 2013 #172

Your stories didn't show crimes that happened to those persons simply because they were men. KitSileya Dec 2013 #180

except the fool in the video said hfojvt Dec 2013 #215

He's very aware that there are degrees of male privilege. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #220

The situations you posed were not equivalent. Squinch Jan 2014 #283

equivalent to what? hfojvt Jan 2014 #285

Do you think that "Suzie likes you" is the same as Squinch Jan 2014 #286

no, it doesn't seem as bad hfojvt Dec 2013 #165

I didn't see any of those as attempt to tell me I was desirable. KitSileya Dec 2013 #169

yes, you might try changing your think. not about compliment. to embarrass. harass, humiliate. seabeyond Dec 2013 #176

no the old man was not complimentary hfojvt Dec 2013 #196

what that old man was doing was absolutely about a control, totally about making you uncomfortable seabeyond Dec 2013 #199

Your examples keep being universal, not gender-specific. KitSileya Dec 2013 #203

that's kinda my point - universality hfojvt Dec 2013 #221

And you completely and totally made the video's point. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #223

False equivalency. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #148

"Susan likes you" ???? gollygee Dec 2013 #158

What was that thing about good intentions... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #246

Eh. 75+ recs, dozens of positive responses, and half a dozen pissed off MRAs. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #265

The fact that these threads are so incendiary, especially on a liberal forum, is very telling... PoliticalPothead Dec 2013 #276

point. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #277

+1 redqueen Jan 2014 #284

Try keeping it your pants for a change... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #54

Thank you...I've been waiting about forty years to hear a man say that whathehell Dec 2013 #78

What? awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #85

You're surprised? whathehell Dec 2013 #88

I am surprised... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #91

I'm not sure the eye roll was directed at you. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #92

You may be right... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #94

"Misogyny is the last acceptable bigotry of the Left"...Katha Pollitt, The Nation whathehell Dec 2013 #108

This message was self-deleted by its author Drew Richards Dec 2013 #160

this man is kick ass excellent. thanks. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #2

Hey, you got some fine balls! Yeah, why don't you jiggle those sweet balls over this way? racaulk Dec 2013 #4

k&r Starry Messenger Dec 2013 #5

Recommend nt Zorra Dec 2013 #6

Awesome. Thanks! smirkymonkey Dec 2013 #7

I'd like to think that this didn't need to be explained here Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #8

Very cool. Baitball Blogger Dec 2013 #9

Dude rocks! DeSwiss Dec 2013 #10

Let me also add: Don't tell me I'm NOT a feminist BainsBane Dec 2013 #11

Jamie's incredible. Love this guy. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #12

Loved it! (nt) gtar100 Dec 2013 #13

Oh that is good, thank you. Laughing at several parts. uppityperson Dec 2013 #14

Which parts are you laughing at? whathehell Dec 2013 #90

Lol. Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #15

Did you read the part about walking to the car with keys clenched as a weapon? BainsBane Dec 2013 #16

Do you disagree with what I said? Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #17

Was what you said relevant to the topic? No. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #21

The topic was privilege Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #43

even a white middle class woman will still experience sexism. is her life more privileged seabeyond Dec 2013 #46

Exactly. Barack Obama was a millionaire by 2006 Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #53

still experiences racism.... check. does she still experience racism and sexism... check seabeyond Dec 2013 #57

And poor men are discriminated against due to their lack of wealth. You seem to be ok with that one. Romulox Dec 2013 #118

you bring it out of the blue and conclude i am ok. liberal!! fight for the poor!! seabeyond Dec 2013 #123

Yes, expanded it and distracted from the focus of the OP. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #70

You haven't answered my question BainsBane Dec 2013 #24

You have amazing powers of discernment Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #51

I know what you posted this morning BainsBane Dec 2013 #77

I think he is getting antsy about his forced vay kay. Rex Dec 2013 #232

Statistics demonstrate that you are much more likely to be assaulted... Gravitycollapse Dec 2013 #75

I do now BainsBane Dec 2013 #76

Ever had someone grope you at a public concert in the park? ScreamingMeemie Dec 2013 #171

Why yes I have, just the other night. Soundman Jan 2014 #301

I'm a big guy. I can (and unintentionally do) intimidate people. FrodosPet Dec 2013 #100

Somebody was going to be too thick to get it. Congrats on being the first to admit it. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #18

Depends on your generation and the local culture and family in which you grew up. JDPriestly Dec 2013 #22

I do appreciate your response. And I would like to hear your story Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #56

You are relentlessly defensive in virtually chervilant Dec 2013 #30

The funny thing is I'm not really defensive. Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #58

Playing Devil's Advocate with the lived experiences of half the human race is a shitty thing to do. KitSileya Dec 2013 #105

This poster's homophobic remarks are what got him tombstoned from DU2. demmiblue Dec 2013 #106

I didn't know that. KitSileya Dec 2013 #107

And the women are called the "perpetually outraged brigade"... odd that. PeaceNikki Dec 2013 #112

Yet still treated like a sex object... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #62

For the record KentuckyWoman Dec 2013 #64

Which is something that Jamie and his wife stress repeatedly on their podcast. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #68

You can have privilege in many areas and not in others Matariki Dec 2013 #79

And I understand/agree with the concept of privilege Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #81

I think when it's put like "women are more likely to get catcalled than men" most will agree. El_Johns Jan 2014 #306

Lol.. whathehell Dec 2013 #86

That is called intersectionality cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #109

The problem is that this sort of approach reduces oppression to a Pokemon-card style trading system shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #194

Ugh. I get what you're saying, but that's the same crap Dawkins said. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #197

It is "ugh" precisely because it is true, I suspect... shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #208

That's the point of movements like Occupy, though. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #217

choristosexual shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #229

Yes, we will. And there's nothing wrong with that. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #231

Not at all shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #239

Got it, including new minorities and orientations is too much work for you. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #279

Right because men have to endure sex trafficking, genital mutilation, and being spouse's property Hippo_Tron Jan 2014 #287

But fourth-world men do have to endure being press-ganged into armed conflicts shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #290

Class is one of the ways to oppress people, yes cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #289

response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #291

Hmmmm. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #292

further response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #293

Thanks for the response cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #294

further further response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #296

this is like intersectionality in action. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #299

My original post shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #300

I don't know what you mean when you say "New Left". Elaborate, please. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #302

From wikipedia shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #304

Uh, you know hunger and obesity aren't mutually exclusive, right? NuclearDem Jan 2014 #295

Did you miss the part where he said "Don't be a dick?" RetroLounge Dec 2013 #121

lol, and that is the question. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #124

OOoOO you stepped in it now...here it comes wait for it... Drew Richards Dec 2013 #164

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond Dec 2013 #178

Why do you feel the need to dismiss one kind of privilege in order to point out another Hippo_Tron Jan 2014 #288

I love this man and every man like him. sufrommich Dec 2013 #19

I'm a man. I'm not a dick. I don't hate women. I'm a feminist. Paulie Dec 2013 #20

lol. you go dude. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #31

heeee! good one! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #39

He's pretty funny! Matariki Dec 2013 #23

Why does it matter that he's white? oberliner Dec 2013 #25

Why don't you listen to the video and let that get explained in context? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #26

Fair enough oberliner Dec 2013 #27

Why are you posting on a thread for a video you haven't watched? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #29

Was intrigued by the thread title oberliner Dec 2013 #32

Yum. flvegan Dec 2013 #28

I am a man. RC Dec 2013 #33

"So why do some around here treat me as if I am a dick" cause every post you diss us? seabeyond Dec 2013 #34

"Diss?" This poster somehow...disses (who says that anymore?) "us" with every post? flvegan Dec 2013 #52

you could always do a post search and clue yourself in, or continue on with you rant, unobstructed. seabeyond Dec 2013 #55

I'd rather wait for your answer. flvegan Dec 2013 #63

This post is not about internicine wars on DU. I think the role of women in society is important, LeftyMom Dec 2013 #36

This group I was talking about, colors the whole of DU, whether anyone thinks so or not RC Dec 2013 #37

IP? The MRA group? The gungeon? The conspiracy group? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #38

I am glad you did, too. cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #110

This message was self-deleted by its author Drew Richards Dec 2013 #159

You Rock! as always LeftyMom. Drew Richards Dec 2013 #173

Well said Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #60

That poster does an excellent job of attacking a phenomenon that does not exist. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #61

Well I was attacked for nothing more than Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #66

Nobody has a problem with discussing intersectional privilige. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #67

Exactly laundry_queen Dec 2013 #71

Way to perfectly prove his point. Egnever Dec 2013 #102

Being told that his post is out of place cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #111

Simply saying "Way to perfectly prove his point." does not prove anything RetroLounge Dec 2013 #122

your subject line in response to the OP was "Lol." fishwax Jan 2014 #305

Thank you. RC Dec 2013 #65

However anyone treats you BainsBane Dec 2013 #219

Win! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #35

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #40

Did you even listen to that video? Asking for tolerance is being a bully? Oh. uppityperson Dec 2013 #41

And pizza in 3...2...1... NuclearDem Dec 2013 #42

Aw, can't we keep it and play with it for a while? uppityperson Dec 2013 #45

No, they keep peeing all over the damn rug. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #47

Well, there is that. uppityperson Dec 2013 #50

So, you disagree with his position? cyberswede Dec 2013 #44

Here's the deal: white dude is easy mode. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #49

Like John Scalzi said catrose Dec 2013 #59

I'm sure I'm going to be accused of being a straight white male for this... Shandris Dec 2013 #87

That's a blog about the World of Warcraft, apparently. It's not a scholarly piece. nt Romulox Dec 2013 #120

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #72

You know, when you get banned, that means stay away. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #73

Aren't you the one who couldn't answer why wealth shouldn't "count" when defining "easy mode"? Romulox Dec 2013 #119

No. You appear to have confused me with some other poster. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #132

i was the one that asked you why.... you concluded i did not care about poor people, seabeyond Dec 2013 #151

and the great thing about hearing that hfojvt Dec 2013 #281

OMG!! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #48

Wow. He gets it. Hell Hath No Fury Dec 2013 #69

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #89

How exactly do women have an easier life? Do tell. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #93

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #95

Those stereotypes and ideas are constructs of the patriarchy. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #96

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #97

If you want respect, be respectible. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #98

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #101

No, they're not. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #99

He is small and not handsome. He can't claim full privilege. Throd Dec 2013 #74

Oddly I thought the same thing almost immediately. Egnever Dec 2013 #103

Not odd at all, actually...When trying to refute an argument, people will check everything whathehell Dec 2013 #113

small = not man enough, (effeminate) is what I got out of the post. boston bean Dec 2013 #114

I didn't think of that but you might be right. n/t whathehell Jan 2014 #282

You're not. Throd Jan 2014 #297

I'm not WHAT? whathehell Jan 2014 #298

He comes across as a self-congratulatory jerk oberliner Dec 2013 #80

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #82

"gang-educated" boston bean Dec 2013 #115

Rape 'jokes' are not 'funny'. xulamaude Dec 2013 #127

Ah, a gang-rape joke. Stay classy, PW. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #126

That video from the link was from several years ago. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #83

There's an ongoing issue in secular organizations about safe space policies and excluding predators. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #84

see this AVFM link boston bean Dec 2013 #128

But DU doesn't have an MRA problem! LeftyMom Dec 2013 #129

much of it could be copied and pasted. boston bean Dec 2013 #130

Yep - chapter and verse. xulamaude Dec 2013 #143

The poster who referred to women as "cum receptacles/toilets" still posts here. demmiblue Dec 2013 #155

Bingo! NuclearDem Dec 2013 #131

The same exact tactics used to basically attack feminism. boston bean Dec 2013 #133

My mind is still blown by the numbers I discovered yesterday about violent crimes. KitSileya Dec 2013 #135

Exactly. A punch in the face, while not okay and not defensible, is not the same as a rape. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #136

Aggravated assault Major Nikon Dec 2013 #137

Yes, I know what aggravated assault is. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #138

Then why claim it was a punch in the face? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #149

I never said it couldn't be traumatizing. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #152

It's not the same because they are different crimes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #157

read this story, of this cop, that was raped. THEN come back and chat with us seabeyond Dec 2013 #162

Claiming I said there was no difference is intellectually dishonest Major Nikon Dec 2013 #175

you absolutely were comparing. it is a mans experience. and excellent story for insight and seabeyond Dec 2013 #183

You are still building your strawman Major Nikon Dec 2013 #188

raped, gang raped, tortured and murdered. are we really to the point where we are in competition seabeyond Dec 2013 #190

They absolutely should not be in competition Major Nikon Dec 2013 #193

two different animals. you want to make them comparable and really has nothing to seabeyond Dec 2013 #200

Strawman rhetoric is most certainly derailing the conversation Major Nikon Dec 2013 #204

like the kid that sticks fingers in ear, keep saying strawman, ignore what is posted, then add seabeyond Dec 2013 #209

I have no issues addressing my own assertions Major Nikon Dec 2013 #242

There are far more factors than just what the legal system says about severity. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #167

Some victims of aggravated assault are made tetraplegic or worse Major Nikon Dec 2013 #182

Some, not all. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #192

Who exactly is making those arguments on DU? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #198

who in the fuck would say "severe violent crimes like aggravated assault and homicide" is not bad. seabeyond Dec 2013 #207

I didn't bring it up Major Nikon Dec 2013 #226

dodge, weave, weave, dodge, but NEVER address what is posted to you. seabeyond Dec 2013 #228

Quote my actual statement Major Nikon Dec 2013 #245

nuclear dem did shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #241

you obviously did not read my post either, did you. the point. who is not appalled by seabeyond Dec 2013 #247

aggravated assault is just a "punch in the face", apparently shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #249

again. you totally ignored the point of my post. if you cannot even address the seabeyond Dec 2013 #257

Well, you could try punctuating it properly... shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #260

when all else fails about your argument, go to grammar. lame. seabeyond Dec 2013 #262

I was talking two categories, one a sub-category of the other. KitSileya Dec 2013 #154

I've been the victim of rape and attempted murder (separate incidents, same perpetrator) LeftyMom Dec 2013 #156

Lefty (HUGS) boston bean Dec 2013 #163

They can say whatever they want, obviously I've made it through worse. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #168

I worry, tbh, about what I share on DU. KitSileya Dec 2013 #174

I have no doubt many here are victims of both of those crimes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #166

Arguing with women who have been raped about how traumatic rape is? That's anti-woman. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #170

I'll thank you not to inject words or meanings I never stated or intended Major Nikon Dec 2013 #177

I'll thank you to show respect to women on this thread or GTFO. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #179

+1000, arguing MRA stats on a thread like this is extremely disrespectful. boston bean Dec 2013 #181

What are "MRA stats" and where were they made exactly? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #248

The stats you were twisting to try to make it seem boston bean Dec 2013 #250

The twisting of stats that were given to make it diminish boston bean Dec 2013 #251

Quotes would certainly make it more clear Major Nikon Dec 2013 #254

Were there or were there not stats mentioned at the beginning of this sub thread boston bean Dec 2013 #255

The post in which you replied was in reference to me Major Nikon Dec 2013 #259

You were using the stats and the difference between assault, rape and aggravated assault. boston bean Dec 2013 #263

I never mentioned any stats Major Nikon Dec 2013 #268

You took the classifications mentioned in the stats boston bean Dec 2013 #272

You mean the "MRA stats", right? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #274

I've explained it a bunch of times. boston bean Dec 2013 #280

I'm not being disrespectful to anyone Major Nikon Dec 2013 #184

You're disrespecting women, downplaying their experiences, and attempting to derail the discussion. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #185

I'm sorry you feel that way Major Nikon Dec 2013 #205

throwing up a strawman picture, dismissing what is being posted IS disrespectful and seabeyond Dec 2013 #186

Logical fallacies should be dismissed Major Nikon Dec 2013 #189

no. it feels like a game. i am sorry. and i am done seabeyond Dec 2013 #191

Have you considered that the laws might not have caught up to the changing views on rape? KitSileya Dec 2013 #195

If someone is making a strawman argument, they get a strawman pic Major Nikon Dec 2013 #201

That's not what NuclearDem said, tho. KitSileya Dec 2013 #206

Quotes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #213

More derailing tactics. Aggravated assault can be a punch in the face. boston bean Dec 2013 #218

You can die from a punch in the face Major Nikon Dec 2013 #224

Right so it isn't always dependent upon a weapon, it is the severity of the assault, that is key. boston bean Dec 2013 #225

So why specifically mention a punch in the face? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #243

I didn't mention a punch in the face, although that can be aggravated assault, as you now know. boston bean Dec 2013 #253

Demonstrably untrue Major Nikon Dec 2013 #256

OMG, It was in response to your insistence it was NOT aggravated assault. boston bean Dec 2013 #258

Context matters to some Major Nikon Dec 2013 #261

Context certainly does matter and any objective reading boston bean Dec 2013 #264

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #266

I'm irrelevant? I'll let me loved ones know. boston bean Dec 2013 #267

As much as you want to be Major Nikon Dec 2013 #269

classy. boston bean Dec 2013 #273

... Major Nikon Dec 2013 #275

Absolutely Major Nikon Dec 2013 #222

Oh, for heaven's sake. KitSileya Dec 2013 #227

I'm not pretending they are equal Major Nikon Dec 2013 #252

"not the actual experiences of actual women they're arguing with" xulamaude Dec 2013 #238

The same is true for all experience Major Nikon Dec 2013 #278

Yeah, and even though I picture aggravated assault as something more violent KitSileya Dec 2013 #140

Yeah, I just used punch in the face for rhetorical purposes. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #141

Tbh, I wasn't sure what counted as aggravated assault. KitSileya Dec 2013 #146

Why did you attempt to minimise it in that way? shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #244

Filled my BINGO card, yessah. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #142

It's almost verbatim. People just don't understand what it is we are dealing with here. boston bean Dec 2013 #144

they have a small little group to blame. the problem, most of the OPs are not made by the small seabeyond Dec 2013 #161

The owners of the site have the ability to understand the pattern and act to correct it. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #187

It really is admins issue. Or we will just have to keep beating the drum boston bean Dec 2013 #202

I think that as long as the site is adequately monitized, there will continue to be Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #210

And I suspect the ongoing drama/hostilities A-Schwarzenegger Dec 2013 #216

You are right. More page hits = more $, and big flame wars lead to way more page hits. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #233

Helps what? Egnever Dec 2013 #104

K&R - Thanks for posting. It's too bad this needs to be posted here, but I'm myrna minx Dec 2013 #116

LOL at this being right under the Laura Dimon thread! Even that women has white male privilege! nt Romulox Dec 2013 #117

Great video. Thanks for posting it. nt DLevine Dec 2013 #125

Hey, that was good! nt valerief Dec 2013 #134

Reminds me of this Louis CK bit. AtheistCrusader Dec 2013 #211

exactly. a duh. and still it is argued thru out the thread. but, ya, i have seen this seabeyond Dec 2013 #214

i gotta say, my rw knuckledgraggin fox watching brother would say this is a duh. seabeyond Dec 2013 #212

Gosh, by now I should have realized that other thread was in response to Rex Dec 2013 #230

never mind. just saw what you were talking about. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #234

Another thread. Rex Dec 2013 #235

ya, rex. happy new years, to you and yours... let 2014 be all seabeyond Dec 2013 #236

You too. Rex Dec 2013 #270

Of course BainsBane Dec 2013 #240

Yeah I think it is like 50/50 now GD/meta. Rex Dec 2013 #271

Exactly on point. blackspade Dec 2013 #237

92 recs for this and 134 for the anti-harassment PSA BainsBane Jan 2014 #303