General Discussion

Soundman

(297 posts)

301. Why yes I have, just the other night.

Fri Jan 3, 2014, 08:31 AM

Jan 2014

Over the last several weeks I have been groped once by a woman (who groped me in the front), and at least twice by a guy. Does dry humping count as groping? If so, then make that three times at least. Then as I was wrapping cables I got beat on by another guy for a few moments. It left a couple bruises but I'm pretty sure I will survive, they were fists of drunken love and adoration. I no longer really give it much notice. I imagine I will be in for more groping tonight and tomorrow. I can't imagine what it would be like if I were good looking. So if that's male privilege, I can't even fathom what it is like on the other side of the coin.

Of course I do have a choice for Saturday. Do I go to the place where I will probably be groped or go to the place where making eye contact with the wrong person is liable to get me stabbed?

I wish I was making this up, but I'm not. This is my job.

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Male Privilege, helpfully explained by a white dude [View all] LeftyMom Dec 2013 OP

"I can walk down the street without hearing, "Hey! Nice Cock!" NYC_SKP Dec 2013 #1

Yeah, I didn't post it to start another fight, I posted it because maybe people will listen to a guy LeftyMom Dec 2013 #3

it's kinda funny hfojvt Dec 2013 #139

There's a big difference between teenagers saying their friend likes you and grown men shouting LeftyMom Dec 2013 #145

"Show me your p¤ssy." KitSileya Dec 2013 #147

it is not like this has not been told, repeatedly, by TOO many women. what is the need seabeyond Dec 2013 #150

I know, I know, and I should start to recognize which usernames show good faith KitSileya Dec 2013 #153

seems to me that it was post 147 hfojvt Dec 2013 #172

Your stories didn't show crimes that happened to those persons simply because they were men. KitSileya Dec 2013 #180

except the fool in the video said hfojvt Dec 2013 #215

He's very aware that there are degrees of male privilege. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #220

The situations you posed were not equivalent. Squinch Jan 2014 #283

equivalent to what? hfojvt Jan 2014 #285

Do you think that "Suzie likes you" is the same as Squinch Jan 2014 #286

no, it doesn't seem as bad hfojvt Dec 2013 #165

I didn't see any of those as attempt to tell me I was desirable. KitSileya Dec 2013 #169

yes, you might try changing your think. not about compliment. to embarrass. harass, humiliate. seabeyond Dec 2013 #176

no the old man was not complimentary hfojvt Dec 2013 #196

what that old man was doing was absolutely about a control, totally about making you uncomfortable seabeyond Dec 2013 #199

Your examples keep being universal, not gender-specific. KitSileya Dec 2013 #203

that's kinda my point - universality hfojvt Dec 2013 #221

And you completely and totally made the video's point. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #223

False equivalency. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #148

"Susan likes you" ???? gollygee Dec 2013 #158

What was that thing about good intentions... TreasonousBastard Dec 2013 #246

Eh. 75+ recs, dozens of positive responses, and half a dozen pissed off MRAs. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #265

The fact that these threads are so incendiary, especially on a liberal forum, is very telling... PoliticalPothead Dec 2013 #276

point. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #277

+1 redqueen Jan 2014 #284

Try keeping it your pants for a change... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #54

Thank you...I've been waiting about forty years to hear a man say that whathehell Dec 2013 #78

What? awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #85

You're surprised? whathehell Dec 2013 #88

I am surprised... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #91

I'm not sure the eye roll was directed at you. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #92

You may be right... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #94

"Misogyny is the last acceptable bigotry of the Left"...Katha Pollitt, The Nation whathehell Dec 2013 #108

This message was self-deleted by its author Drew Richards Dec 2013 #160

this man is kick ass excellent. thanks. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #2

Hey, you got some fine balls! Yeah, why don't you jiggle those sweet balls over this way? racaulk Dec 2013 #4

k&r Starry Messenger Dec 2013 #5

Recommend nt Zorra Dec 2013 #6

Awesome. Thanks! smirkymonkey Dec 2013 #7

I'd like to think that this didn't need to be explained here Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #8

Very cool. Baitball Blogger Dec 2013 #9

Dude rocks! DeSwiss Dec 2013 #10

Let me also add: Don't tell me I'm NOT a feminist BainsBane Dec 2013 #11

Jamie's incredible. Love this guy. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #12

Loved it! (nt) gtar100 Dec 2013 #13

Oh that is good, thank you. Laughing at several parts. uppityperson Dec 2013 #14

Which parts are you laughing at? whathehell Dec 2013 #90

Lol. Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #15

Did you read the part about walking to the car with keys clenched as a weapon? BainsBane Dec 2013 #16

Do you disagree with what I said? Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #17

Was what you said relevant to the topic? No. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #21

The topic was privilege Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #43

even a white middle class woman will still experience sexism. is her life more privileged seabeyond Dec 2013 #46

Exactly. Barack Obama was a millionaire by 2006 Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #53

still experiences racism.... check. does she still experience racism and sexism... check seabeyond Dec 2013 #57

And poor men are discriminated against due to their lack of wealth. You seem to be ok with that one. Romulox Dec 2013 #118

you bring it out of the blue and conclude i am ok. liberal!! fight for the poor!! seabeyond Dec 2013 #123

Yes, expanded it and distracted from the focus of the OP. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #70

You haven't answered my question BainsBane Dec 2013 #24

You have amazing powers of discernment Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #51

I know what you posted this morning BainsBane Dec 2013 #77

I think he is getting antsy about his forced vay kay. Rex Dec 2013 #232

Statistics demonstrate that you are much more likely to be assaulted... Gravitycollapse Dec 2013 #75

I do now BainsBane Dec 2013 #76

Ever had someone grope you at a public concert in the park? ScreamingMeemie Dec 2013 #171

Why yes I have, just the other night. Soundman Jan 2014 #301

I'm a big guy. I can (and unintentionally do) intimidate people. FrodosPet Dec 2013 #100

Somebody was going to be too thick to get it. Congrats on being the first to admit it. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #18

Depends on your generation and the local culture and family in which you grew up. JDPriestly Dec 2013 #22

I do appreciate your response. And I would like to hear your story Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #56

You are relentlessly defensive in virtually chervilant Dec 2013 #30

The funny thing is I'm not really defensive. Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #58

Playing Devil's Advocate with the lived experiences of half the human race is a shitty thing to do. KitSileya Dec 2013 #105

This poster's homophobic remarks are what got him tombstoned from DU2. demmiblue Dec 2013 #106

I didn't know that. KitSileya Dec 2013 #107

And the women are called the "perpetually outraged brigade"... odd that. PeaceNikki Dec 2013 #112

Yet still treated like a sex object... awoke_in_2003 Dec 2013 #62

For the record KentuckyWoman Dec 2013 #64

Which is something that Jamie and his wife stress repeatedly on their podcast. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #68

You can have privilege in many areas and not in others Matariki Dec 2013 #79

And I understand/agree with the concept of privilege Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #81

I think when it's put like "women are more likely to get catcalled than men" most will agree. El_Johns Jan 2014 #306

Lol.. whathehell Dec 2013 #86

That is called intersectionality cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #109

The problem is that this sort of approach reduces oppression to a Pokemon-card style trading system shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #194

Ugh. I get what you're saying, but that's the same crap Dawkins said. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #197

It is "ugh" precisely because it is true, I suspect... shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #208

That's the point of movements like Occupy, though. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #217

choristosexual shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #229

Yes, we will. And there's nothing wrong with that. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #231

Not at all shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #239

Got it, including new minorities and orientations is too much work for you. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #279

Right because men have to endure sex trafficking, genital mutilation, and being spouse's property Hippo_Tron Jan 2014 #287

But fourth-world men do have to endure being press-ganged into armed conflicts shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #290

Class is one of the ways to oppress people, yes cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #289

response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #291

Hmmmm. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #292

further response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #293

Thanks for the response cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #294

further further response shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #296

this is like intersectionality in action. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #299

My original post shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #300

I don't know what you mean when you say "New Left". Elaborate, please. cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #302

From wikipedia shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #304

Uh, you know hunger and obesity aren't mutually exclusive, right? NuclearDem Jan 2014 #295

Did you miss the part where he said "Don't be a dick?" RetroLounge Dec 2013 #121

lol, and that is the question. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #124

OOoOO you stepped in it now...here it comes wait for it... Drew Richards Dec 2013 #164

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond Dec 2013 #178

Why do you feel the need to dismiss one kind of privilege in order to point out another Hippo_Tron Jan 2014 #288

I love this man and every man like him. sufrommich Dec 2013 #19

I'm a man. I'm not a dick. I don't hate women. I'm a feminist. Paulie Dec 2013 #20

lol. you go dude. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #31

heeee! good one! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #39

He's pretty funny! Matariki Dec 2013 #23

Why does it matter that he's white? oberliner Dec 2013 #25

Why don't you listen to the video and let that get explained in context? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #26

Fair enough oberliner Dec 2013 #27

Why are you posting on a thread for a video you haven't watched? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #29

Was intrigued by the thread title oberliner Dec 2013 #32

Yum. flvegan Dec 2013 #28

I am a man. RC Dec 2013 #33

"So why do some around here treat me as if I am a dick" cause every post you diss us? seabeyond Dec 2013 #34

"Diss?" This poster somehow...disses (who says that anymore?) "us" with every post? flvegan Dec 2013 #52

you could always do a post search and clue yourself in, or continue on with you rant, unobstructed. seabeyond Dec 2013 #55

I'd rather wait for your answer. flvegan Dec 2013 #63

This post is not about internicine wars on DU. I think the role of women in society is important, LeftyMom Dec 2013 #36

This group I was talking about, colors the whole of DU, whether anyone thinks so or not RC Dec 2013 #37

IP? The MRA group? The gungeon? The conspiracy group? LeftyMom Dec 2013 #38

I am glad you did, too. cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #110

This message was self-deleted by its author Drew Richards Dec 2013 #159

You Rock! as always LeftyMom. Drew Richards Dec 2013 #173

Well said Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #60

That poster does an excellent job of attacking a phenomenon that does not exist. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #61

Well I was attacked for nothing more than Pretzel_Warrior Dec 2013 #66

Nobody has a problem with discussing intersectional privilige. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #67

Exactly laundry_queen Dec 2013 #71

Way to perfectly prove his point. Egnever Dec 2013 #102

Being told that his post is out of place cinnabonbon Dec 2013 #111

Simply saying "Way to perfectly prove his point." does not prove anything RetroLounge Dec 2013 #122

your subject line in response to the OP was "Lol." fishwax Jan 2014 #305

Thank you. RC Dec 2013 #65

However anyone treats you BainsBane Dec 2013 #219

Win! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #35

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #40

Did you even listen to that video? Asking for tolerance is being a bully? Oh. uppityperson Dec 2013 #41

And pizza in 3...2...1... NuclearDem Dec 2013 #42

Aw, can't we keep it and play with it for a while? uppityperson Dec 2013 #45

No, they keep peeing all over the damn rug. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #47

Well, there is that. uppityperson Dec 2013 #50

So, you disagree with his position? cyberswede Dec 2013 #44

Here's the deal: white dude is easy mode. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #49

Like John Scalzi said catrose Dec 2013 #59

I'm sure I'm going to be accused of being a straight white male for this... Shandris Dec 2013 #87

That's a blog about the World of Warcraft, apparently. It's not a scholarly piece. nt Romulox Dec 2013 #120

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #72

You know, when you get banned, that means stay away. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #73

Aren't you the one who couldn't answer why wealth shouldn't "count" when defining "easy mode"? Romulox Dec 2013 #119

No. You appear to have confused me with some other poster. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #132

i was the one that asked you why.... you concluded i did not care about poor people, seabeyond Dec 2013 #151

and the great thing about hearing that hfojvt Dec 2013 #281

OMG!! BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2013 #48

Wow. He gets it. Hell Hath No Fury Dec 2013 #69

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #89

How exactly do women have an easier life? Do tell. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #93

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #95

Those stereotypes and ideas are constructs of the patriarchy. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #96

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #97

If you want respect, be respectible. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #98

Message auto-removed Name removed Dec 2013 #101

No, they're not. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #99

He is small and not handsome. He can't claim full privilege. Throd Dec 2013 #74

Oddly I thought the same thing almost immediately. Egnever Dec 2013 #103

Not odd at all, actually...When trying to refute an argument, people will check everything whathehell Dec 2013 #113

small = not man enough, (effeminate) is what I got out of the post. boston bean Dec 2013 #114

I didn't think of that but you might be right. n/t whathehell Jan 2014 #282

You're not. Throd Jan 2014 #297

I'm not WHAT? whathehell Jan 2014 #298

He comes across as a self-congratulatory jerk oberliner Dec 2013 #80

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #82

"gang-educated" boston bean Dec 2013 #115

Rape 'jokes' are not 'funny'. xulamaude Dec 2013 #127

Ah, a gang-rape joke. Stay classy, PW. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #126

That video from the link was from several years ago. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #83

There's an ongoing issue in secular organizations about safe space policies and excluding predators. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #84

see this AVFM link boston bean Dec 2013 #128

But DU doesn't have an MRA problem! LeftyMom Dec 2013 #129

much of it could be copied and pasted. boston bean Dec 2013 #130

Yep - chapter and verse. xulamaude Dec 2013 #143

The poster who referred to women as "cum receptacles/toilets" still posts here. demmiblue Dec 2013 #155

Bingo! NuclearDem Dec 2013 #131

The same exact tactics used to basically attack feminism. boston bean Dec 2013 #133

My mind is still blown by the numbers I discovered yesterday about violent crimes. KitSileya Dec 2013 #135

Exactly. A punch in the face, while not okay and not defensible, is not the same as a rape. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #136

Aggravated assault Major Nikon Dec 2013 #137

Yes, I know what aggravated assault is. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #138

Then why claim it was a punch in the face? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #149

I never said it couldn't be traumatizing. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #152

It's not the same because they are different crimes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #157

read this story, of this cop, that was raped. THEN come back and chat with us seabeyond Dec 2013 #162

Claiming I said there was no difference is intellectually dishonest Major Nikon Dec 2013 #175

you absolutely were comparing. it is a mans experience. and excellent story for insight and seabeyond Dec 2013 #183

You are still building your strawman Major Nikon Dec 2013 #188

raped, gang raped, tortured and murdered. are we really to the point where we are in competition seabeyond Dec 2013 #190

They absolutely should not be in competition Major Nikon Dec 2013 #193

two different animals. you want to make them comparable and really has nothing to seabeyond Dec 2013 #200

Strawman rhetoric is most certainly derailing the conversation Major Nikon Dec 2013 #204

like the kid that sticks fingers in ear, keep saying strawman, ignore what is posted, then add seabeyond Dec 2013 #209

I have no issues addressing my own assertions Major Nikon Dec 2013 #242

There are far more factors than just what the legal system says about severity. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #167

Some victims of aggravated assault are made tetraplegic or worse Major Nikon Dec 2013 #182

Some, not all. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #192

Who exactly is making those arguments on DU? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #198

who in the fuck would say "severe violent crimes like aggravated assault and homicide" is not bad. seabeyond Dec 2013 #207

I didn't bring it up Major Nikon Dec 2013 #226

dodge, weave, weave, dodge, but NEVER address what is posted to you. seabeyond Dec 2013 #228

Quote my actual statement Major Nikon Dec 2013 #245

nuclear dem did shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #241

you obviously did not read my post either, did you. the point. who is not appalled by seabeyond Dec 2013 #247

aggravated assault is just a "punch in the face", apparently shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #249

again. you totally ignored the point of my post. if you cannot even address the seabeyond Dec 2013 #257

Well, you could try punctuating it properly... shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #260

when all else fails about your argument, go to grammar. lame. seabeyond Dec 2013 #262

I was talking two categories, one a sub-category of the other. KitSileya Dec 2013 #154

I've been the victim of rape and attempted murder (separate incidents, same perpetrator) LeftyMom Dec 2013 #156

Lefty (HUGS) boston bean Dec 2013 #163

They can say whatever they want, obviously I've made it through worse. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #168

I worry, tbh, about what I share on DU. KitSileya Dec 2013 #174

I have no doubt many here are victims of both of those crimes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #166

Arguing with women who have been raped about how traumatic rape is? That's anti-woman. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #170

I'll thank you not to inject words or meanings I never stated or intended Major Nikon Dec 2013 #177

I'll thank you to show respect to women on this thread or GTFO. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #179

+1000, arguing MRA stats on a thread like this is extremely disrespectful. boston bean Dec 2013 #181

What are "MRA stats" and where were they made exactly? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #248

The stats you were twisting to try to make it seem boston bean Dec 2013 #250

The twisting of stats that were given to make it diminish boston bean Dec 2013 #251

Quotes would certainly make it more clear Major Nikon Dec 2013 #254

Were there or were there not stats mentioned at the beginning of this sub thread boston bean Dec 2013 #255

The post in which you replied was in reference to me Major Nikon Dec 2013 #259

You were using the stats and the difference between assault, rape and aggravated assault. boston bean Dec 2013 #263

I never mentioned any stats Major Nikon Dec 2013 #268

You took the classifications mentioned in the stats boston bean Dec 2013 #272

You mean the "MRA stats", right? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #274

I've explained it a bunch of times. boston bean Dec 2013 #280

I'm not being disrespectful to anyone Major Nikon Dec 2013 #184

You're disrespecting women, downplaying their experiences, and attempting to derail the discussion. LeftyMom Dec 2013 #185

I'm sorry you feel that way Major Nikon Dec 2013 #205

throwing up a strawman picture, dismissing what is being posted IS disrespectful and seabeyond Dec 2013 #186

Logical fallacies should be dismissed Major Nikon Dec 2013 #189

no. it feels like a game. i am sorry. and i am done seabeyond Dec 2013 #191

Have you considered that the laws might not have caught up to the changing views on rape? KitSileya Dec 2013 #195

If someone is making a strawman argument, they get a strawman pic Major Nikon Dec 2013 #201

That's not what NuclearDem said, tho. KitSileya Dec 2013 #206

Quotes Major Nikon Dec 2013 #213

More derailing tactics. Aggravated assault can be a punch in the face. boston bean Dec 2013 #218

You can die from a punch in the face Major Nikon Dec 2013 #224

Right so it isn't always dependent upon a weapon, it is the severity of the assault, that is key. boston bean Dec 2013 #225

So why specifically mention a punch in the face? Major Nikon Dec 2013 #243

I didn't mention a punch in the face, although that can be aggravated assault, as you now know. boston bean Dec 2013 #253

Demonstrably untrue Major Nikon Dec 2013 #256

OMG, It was in response to your insistence it was NOT aggravated assault. boston bean Dec 2013 #258

Context matters to some Major Nikon Dec 2013 #261

Context certainly does matter and any objective reading boston bean Dec 2013 #264

Post removed Post removed Dec 2013 #266

I'm irrelevant? I'll let me loved ones know. boston bean Dec 2013 #267

As much as you want to be Major Nikon Dec 2013 #269

classy. boston bean Dec 2013 #273

... Major Nikon Dec 2013 #275

Absolutely Major Nikon Dec 2013 #222

Oh, for heaven's sake. KitSileya Dec 2013 #227

I'm not pretending they are equal Major Nikon Dec 2013 #252

"not the actual experiences of actual women they're arguing with" xulamaude Dec 2013 #238

The same is true for all experience Major Nikon Dec 2013 #278

Yeah, and even though I picture aggravated assault as something more violent KitSileya Dec 2013 #140

Yeah, I just used punch in the face for rhetorical purposes. NuclearDem Dec 2013 #141

Tbh, I wasn't sure what counted as aggravated assault. KitSileya Dec 2013 #146

Why did you attempt to minimise it in that way? shaayecanaan Dec 2013 #244

Filled my BINGO card, yessah. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #142

It's almost verbatim. People just don't understand what it is we are dealing with here. boston bean Dec 2013 #144

they have a small little group to blame. the problem, most of the OPs are not made by the small seabeyond Dec 2013 #161

The owners of the site have the ability to understand the pattern and act to correct it. Gormy Cuss Dec 2013 #187

It really is admins issue. Or we will just have to keep beating the drum boston bean Dec 2013 #202

I think that as long as the site is adequately monitized, there will continue to be Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #210

And I suspect the ongoing drama/hostilities A-Schwarzenegger Dec 2013 #216

You are right. More page hits = more $, and big flame wars lead to way more page hits. Sheldon Cooper Dec 2013 #233

Helps what? Egnever Dec 2013 #104

K&R - Thanks for posting. It's too bad this needs to be posted here, but I'm myrna minx Dec 2013 #116

LOL at this being right under the Laura Dimon thread! Even that women has white male privilege! nt Romulox Dec 2013 #117

Great video. Thanks for posting it. nt DLevine Dec 2013 #125

Hey, that was good! nt valerief Dec 2013 #134

Reminds me of this Louis CK bit. AtheistCrusader Dec 2013 #211

exactly. a duh. and still it is argued thru out the thread. but, ya, i have seen this seabeyond Dec 2013 #214

i gotta say, my rw knuckledgraggin fox watching brother would say this is a duh. seabeyond Dec 2013 #212

Gosh, by now I should have realized that other thread was in response to Rex Dec 2013 #230

never mind. just saw what you were talking about. nt seabeyond Dec 2013 #234

Another thread. Rex Dec 2013 #235

ya, rex. happy new years, to you and yours... let 2014 be all seabeyond Dec 2013 #236

You too. Rex Dec 2013 #270

Of course BainsBane Dec 2013 #240

Yeah I think it is like 50/50 now GD/meta. Rex Dec 2013 #271

Exactly on point. blackspade Dec 2013 #237

92 recs for this and 134 for the anti-harassment PSA BainsBane Jan 2014 #303