Today was one shitty day.

[tavalon]

57. Not to be a pain,

but you just described every depression I've ever been in. I mean real depression. Sure, you have a really good reason to be sad and sad is part of life. That said, please think about talking to your doctor about antidepressants. Hopefully, if you get a good one, it won't take away the sad part but it will make the rest of it easier to take. An astounding number of elderly and sick people are depressed - that's one of the reasons that most of the states that have Right to Die laws require the person to have an assessment for depression. Maybe they don't want to die, they're just depressed. Many of those people get help with their depression and then still choose to Die with Dignity, on their own time frame. But depression has to be out of the way before a clear decision can be made.

I'm a lifer on antidepressants. My brain thinks misery is a fine set point. I disagree. I'm incredibly lucky to have an antidepressant that allows me my full range of emotions but for cause, not just because my brain has a set point that is FUBAR.

I suspect, at 50, I'm probably being uppity coming on here and saying this, so just disregard if you wish. I just want both of you to have the best last few years you can. You've lived a long life, there's no reason to die in your head before your heart stops beating.

It was your comment about the first few seconds. I know you told me not to cry, but oh man, how could I not? I know only too well those first few seconds. I remember yelling once, "no, I'm not through!" when the first few seconds were gone.