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Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
33. It's all metaphor which really means they took a bath
Sun Aug 25, 2019, 08:35 PM
Aug 2019

Never mind the bible goes to great lengths to describe the arc and pretty much the whole story is a cut-and-paste from earlier Mesopotamian flood story (which was also taken literally) because all that shit is metaphorical too.

Yep, anytime the bible flies in the face of reality it’s metaphor to the rescue. So when it comes to talking snakes, talking bushes, talking donkeys, floods, creating the universe inside a week, Samson’s magic hair, people turning into salt, zombies, hocus pocus people into existence, and exodus, you guessed it, all metaphor.

Ah but what about the biggest whopper of them all, you say? Nope, not metaphor I’m afraid. Jesus still gets to watch you masturbate.

No, really. I mean really no shit. That’s how it works.

This message was self-deleted by its author [View all] left-of-center2012 Aug 2019 OP
There was a documentary type movie about this, long about 40 years ago. 3Hotdogs Aug 2019 #1
Toupee. Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #14
I'll go with toop. murielm99 Aug 2019 #17
Its hard not to laugh sometimes. Guy I worked with had a toop. But it was old and worn. 3Hotdogs Aug 2019 #29
Then Noah and his family has incestual orgies so wasupaloopa Aug 2019 #2
And a lot of rape too. Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #15
What strikes me is the misogyny in this bitterross Aug 2019 #3
But her emus! Croney Aug 2019 #4
Ha ha ha voteearlyvoteoften Aug 2019 #6
Abrahamic religions traditionally view women as the root of all evil Major Nikon Aug 2019 #21
There is a flood story in a ton of ancient literature including in Chinese. That ark might exist Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #5
Er no it doesn't exist. Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #16
Doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #18
You can say the same about Russell's teapot Major Nikon Aug 2019 #19
Agreed. Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #39
Checkmate, atheists... Act_of_Reparation Aug 2019 #51
The op was supposedly about evidence Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #22
You need more evidence than two dents in the ground? Open your mind! Iggo Aug 2019 #24
I know one of the guys who headed one ark expedition Bretton Garcia Aug 2019 #25
"Absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence" Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #40
Yes, uriel1972 Aug 2019 #42
I've detached myself from the theory. I submit the theory is hogwash. Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #43
We found the ark! Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #45
Pretty sure this warrants an immediate invasion of um.. well.. Tiggeroshii Aug 2019 #48
Tell me again how the Ark got Penguins? CanonRay Aug 2019 #7
"The world" had a different meaning then jmowreader Aug 2019 #12
The Bible is not proof of anything. It is a magical book where stories of big boats full of wasupaloopa Aug 2019 #52
What a dilemma! Cartoonist Aug 2019 #8
I'm flummoxed! Iggo Aug 2019 #9
Reply #1 gives an answer. guillaumeb Aug 2019 #23
It's all metaphor which really means they took a bath Major Nikon Aug 2019 #33
Maybe they'll find the unicorn bones there SCantiGOP Aug 2019 #10
I'm remembering a song by the Chieftains Haggis for Breakfast Aug 2019 #28
Hah! SCantiGOP Aug 2019 #30
You must be as old as me !! Haggis for Breakfast Aug 2019 #36
No dinosaurs on the Ark? Why do you spread such heathen falsehoods? brooklynite Aug 2019 #54
They must've found "the ark" half a dozen times in my lifetime. eShirl Aug 2019 #11
they keep losing it again? uriel1972 Aug 2019 #38
Do you honestly believe this nonsense? Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #13
Nope shadowmayor Aug 2019 #20
Complete bullshit (n/t) PJMcK Aug 2019 #26
If the Flood happened, then that would mean that... Girard442 Aug 2019 #27
I consider Jesus SCantiGOP Aug 2019 #31
Jesus said some pretty smitey things... uriel1972 Aug 2019 #32
And slavery shadowmayor Aug 2019 #34
At which point the faithists cry "metaphor". Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #35
metaphor for what though... uriel1972 Aug 2019 #37
I've asked that and there is no answer. Voltaire2 Aug 2019 #44
And when asked where all the water went.. Permanut Aug 2019 #41
I think the flat-earthers have an answer for that. The water just spilled over the sides. alwaysinasnit Aug 2019 #57
"Evidence" Act_of_Reparation Aug 2019 #46
Geez, I've been told right here in this very group by quite insistent Christians... trotsky Aug 2019 #47
Water Cartoonist Aug 2019 #49
But when the water covered the earth, was it salty or fresh? trotsky Aug 2019 #50
All water was once fresh Cartoonist Aug 2019 #55
Hah! SCantiGOP Aug 2019 #56
Praise be unto the Lord! trotsky Aug 2019 #59
Why did 8 survivors build 1,000 dwellings? brooklynite Aug 2019 #53
Video games hadn't been invented yet. Act_of_Reparation Aug 2019 #58
The author is a particularly despicable right wing crank muriel_volestrangler Aug 2019 #60
How neat is that! trotsky Aug 2019 #61
I'm sure we all have flaws left-of-center2012 Aug 2019 #62
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